I Am Tired Of My Husband Earning a Living!

Dude, who said this?

Dude, who said this?

Oh it was just a knee-jerk reaction to a few recent articles....

Oh it was just a knee-jerk reaction to a few recent articles

Never mind.  I think I know.

I've bitched, yes.  D puts in more than his fair share some days, and we're both looking forward to him retiring.  However...I don't think I would have the balls to complain about him not doing anything around the house after putting in a 16 hour day (that's mainly because he does things around here anyway).

I've bitched, yes.

Was not in response to any of your articles:)

[I'll do you dishes] [/I'll do you dishes] ~ 'tis winter here and dishes are pure pleasure... it is all in the wrists...

Was not in response to any of your articles:)

Yeah, I know. I'm onto it.....and I can agree with you.

it is all in the wrists...

For me it is all in the automatic dishwasher:)

Try being on the other side, greywar.

Try raising several children all alone. Try breaking up the fights, cleaning the muddy hand prints off the walls, cooking 3 or 4 meals a day where nearly everyone wants something different, bathing kids who don't want to be bathed, keeping the ungodly amounts of dishes and clothes clean, making sure you remember where your husband's important papers or piece of gear are because he won't, keeping the floor mopped and vacuumed, dealing with the influx of homework and papers to be signed, making sure to spend at least 20 minutes a day reading to the kids, remembering where the kids put their good sneakers, making phone calls all day for appointments and questions about bills or store hours and school lunches or any number of other things that require more information, making sure to be dressed nice for your spouse lest he think you a slob, prying hooters girls cards out of the inside of the fan, going to Open House and teachers conferences and Halloween and birthdays as the lone parent, making sure to be up for sex whenever your spouse desires it even though you've just spent the last hour scrubbing toilets and explaining to your child why he shouldn't call his friend bastards, making sure that you keep track of all incoming paperwork and bills so that everything gets paid on time, and making sure that your family has enough money to eat on once the bills are paid and your spouse has spent a couple hundred dollars on video games and morning sodas, and don't forget to call your mother-in-law and tell her happy birthday because your spouse won't do it.

Do all this, and more, much more...while your husband dates and sleeps with another woman and bitches at you constantly for things that are out of your control.

Sounds like paradise, eh?

Try being on the other side, greywar.

I AM on the other side... thats why I disagree so fervently.

while your husband dates and sleeps with another woman and bitches at you constantly for things that are out of your control.

 

If your hubby is fucking around then it has nothing todo with these issues but rather with poor husband material.

greywar: That was a generalized example, but you should know the infidelity issues that are common in the military.

I AM on the other side... thats why I disagree so fervently.

Not really.

Try being on the other side,

I am as well, and whilst I agree that it aint no picnic sometimes, neither is pulling a 14 hour shift in 100 degree weather w/70% humidity in BDU's, kevlar, weapons belt and wool beret...being at the beck and call of the military, getting shipped out to god-knows-where god-knows-when with a week's notice (if you're lucky), living in a tent, crapping in a communal bathroom with no doors on the stalls, having no hot running water most of the time, having to deal with the bullshit TCN's, and to top all of it off, coming home to a wife who constantly complains that you don't do jack shit, who complains that she's put upon because you're gone trying to support her and your kids, and who's got you so far in debt that collections agencies are calling your house every fekkin' night.

They've got it bad too.

Marriage is a partnership, and each party has to pull their weight. 

My job as a military spouse is to do what it takes to enable my husband to do his job to the best of his abilities.  If that means paying the bills on time, then that's what I do.

Not really.

No really. I am a military spouse now and just because I am male doesn't make me less acquainted with the tribulations of the military. If he is a cheater it is because he is a cheater, not beccasue of his job. He cheats? Get rid of his ass now and not later.

My point is this: The blogger whose article has been "spoofed" here has had it extraordinarily rough. I think it's pretty cruel to ridicule her for expressing her frustrations.

I think it's pretty cruel to ridicule her for expressing her frustrations.

I am a pretty cruel guy when people won't recognize the actual source of their problems. Is the military the problem here? No. The guy is. Period. They need to stop deluding themselves. Now.

I am a pretty cruel guy when people won't recognize the actual source of their problems. Is the military the problem here? No. The guy is. Period. They need to stop deluding themselves. Now.

That transcends the military.  And is right for all avenues of life.

greywar:

No really. I am a military spouse now and just because I am male doesn't make me less acquainted with the tribulations of the military.

The difference is not your sex, but the fact that you're not managing a houseful of children.

If he is a cheater it is because he is a cheater, not beccasue of his job. He cheats? Get rid of his ass now and not later.

I don't really feel comfortable talking about her family situation "behind her back," but I put it out there, so I suppose I should clarify.

Her husband has "straightened up" so to speak, and she chose to stay with him. Not all people choose leave an unfaithful spouse (and I think you of all people know this), particularly when there are children involved.

I also speak from experience when I say that the military lifestyle can prompt faithful, responsible people to do things that are out of character for them. My husband cheated. He is NOT a cheater. He made a bad decision in an atmosphere of rampant selfishness and loose morals. He was someone else for a while because of his situation. This doesn't mean that he is blameless. It just means that he had a weakness that was amplified by the atmosphere around him. And I think you know that this happens A LOT in the military.

I cheated as well. Should my husband get rid of my ass now? He's home right now, eating some scrambled eggs and toast and watching TV...let me know if he should, and I'll go tell him so he won't have to waste any more time with me.

Her husband has "straightened up" so to speak, and she chose to stay with him.

No he hasn't. Once a guy crosses that line he *never* comes back ever. He just gets better at hiding it. I don't know about girls but for guys? Cross that line and you cheat forever. Live in whatever delusion you like.

Life just sucks for all of us. Can we just die now?

I'm not quite ready to go yet. I'm masochistic, I actually like suffering. it's Buddhist thing, I think.

The blogger whose article has been "spoofed" here has had it extraordinarily rough.

So have half the military spouses on this base. We all got our crosses to bear. Some folks manage to drag themselves along and make things work, and others just give up and blame the military. No shame in doing so, you do whatever you have to do.....but sometimes it seems like some women don't take into consideration what their men do every day.

Is the military the problem here? No. The guy is. Period. They need to stop deluding themselves. Now.

Greywar has a very good point....

Once a guy crosses that line he *never* comes back ever. He just gets better at hiding it.

So you're saying it's a permanent thing? There's no going back, ever? No straightening up?

Interesting. Perhaps I should start paying more attention around here....then again, do I really want to know? Therin lies the rub.

So you're saying it's a permanent thing? There's no going back, ever? No straightening up?

It can happen but it is *very* rare... Once that moral rubicon is crossed it is not really a barrier anymore.

greywar:

No he hasn't. Once a guy crosses that line he *never* comes back ever. He just gets better at hiding it. I don't know about girls but for guys? Cross that line and you cheat forever. Live in whatever delusion you like.

Having researched and read a whole shitload about infidelity, I can tell you now with certainty that you are wrong.

Not all cheaters are serial cheaters. Only time will tell whether a man is a serial cheater, but for many men cheating is a gnawing regret that forever haunts them. It is not always a repeated behavior.

So have half the military spouses on this base. We all got our crosses to bear. Some folks manage to drag themselves along and make things work, and others just give up and blame the military.

I didn't see it as her blaming the military at all. She was just venting, just like you and I and others have done.

No shame in doing so, you do whatever you have to do.....but sometimes it seems like some women don't take into consideration what their men do every day.

This seems like an about face from a recent article of yours.

Greywar has a very good point....

It doesn't HAVE to be the military. It can be construction work, or a Dungeons and Dragons club, or whatever a man (or woman) is involved in that provides an atmosphere that makes infidelity and neglect of family seem like an attractive option. Not all groups and companies and organizations in the military have that type of atmosphere, but many do. Not all men in those situations give in to the peer pressure and debaucherous atmosphere, but many do. It's a flaw...a weakness...to be sure, but you cannot deny that our actions are influenced by the people and experiences around us.

Not all cheaters are serial cheaters.

True but for about 95% this is true. It doesn't matter what their job is.. cheaters are cheaters and women tend to be believers...

This seems like an about face from a recent article of yours.

The one where I said that his job wasn't giving him the opportunity to look after me like he was supposed to be doing? Like the military spent thousands of dollars flying him home early to do? I think that there were some slightly extenuating circumstances there, but yeah, I was bitching about the military.