WOW!!! The sense of humor is getting rather strong in here! I am loving it! LOL!

The Alien has viewed the World's economic crisis...

... and has decided not to invest here.

He believes greed and the exchange rate would cripple his economy.

Someone's off their meds! 

And forgot to put on his strait jacket this morning.

Do you want that back? Damn...

At some stage, yeah... might help avoid going blind totally.

~

The Alien thinks you should come up with a new propulsion system,

build a small robot space ship and try to break that speed limit.

Experimentation is how you get to the math.

~

Didn't know there wos speed limits in space.... and wot about tickets???

Mxlplyk of DanderPuss is on a three minute sabbatical. She says quotas are slipping so she went out to get more CC bursterpaks and divy them up between the Gendarme triglycerinees so they can exceed said speed limitations in space/time in order to foil the hijacking of CC carriers enroute starkerPrime.

~

Is it possible that reality is a fantasy and

fantasy is reality?

~

Dunno, but I'd be a very happy man if some of my fantasies became reality.

Being pain free and cruising the Caribbean on a luxury yacth with all my fave people 'd be nice

~

I have detected the work of the alien.

~

Message from the alien:
On our portable planet radio talk show hosts
took themselves to seriously and weren't funny any more
in fact they were down right depressing.
Then we stopped listening and cheered up.

Word has it Joe Satriani is putting down his guitar for a while to 'go surfing with the alien'

And Steve Vai has been accused of fathering an 'alien love child'

The alien says that listening to music in a dark
environment makes it sound louder.

Ah, so that's why all the windows are blacked out at his place

Could do to turn down the bass a little

It's shaking some of the roof tiles loose.

There's your UFO explanation. Flying roof tiles from the alien's abode. Told them to stash their anti-grav units someplace else but do they listen ... nooooo.

The Alien denies any knowledge of anti-grav devices.  He says that while the US Gov't may possess something along those lines, perhaps, he is adamant that neither he or other non-terrestrials are responsible for any such technology getting into the hands of humans... and certainly not into the hands of politicians he believes would not behave responsibly with it.

Apparently he saw people on a similar planet use anti-gravity to steal dozen upon dozens of oil tankers during a world-wide oil crisis.

Therefore, anti-gravity does NOT exist.

Yeah yeah and the moon isn't made of green cheese. Its Limburger or some such.

Would lactose intolerant people avoid going to the moon if it were made of green cheese... or would they just take an anti-histamine first?

Come to think of it, which I do, are aliens lactose intolerant?

The reason I ask is because our satellites haven't seen any evidence of alien bases on the moon... and surely that'd be the logical place to have a forward attack platform if they plan to invade Earth?

Another thing I sometimes think about, if I were to get abducted, is whether they have qualified proctologists to do the anal probes, or whether it's some sadistic alien who has B&D tendencies???

Are the aliens anal?

Do they practice safe insertion?

Do they wear protective gear?

Do they give you lollipops when they're done?

I've often asked this, and I've never gotten a clear cut answer, other than the hint that some of them may have a curiosity with that portion of the anatomy because theirs is located underneath their armpit.  It was also suggested that some of them were latent homosexuals, but evidence was never forthcoming to support this theory/claim.

Of Course, who do you think introduced rubber gloves and lubricants to proctology?

Again, where do you think condoms come from?

Um, how do I explain this without frightening or disappointing a heap of people?

Let's just say that it doesn't come on a stick and you don't lick it.

Eewwwww!!!     TMI!      Visions of starkers with lollipops ^^^^^ Nightmare central.

That's something you'll never have to worry about... because the alien says lollipops are for woosies.

Me, I'm the 'bite it off the stick and chomp right into it' kind of bloke... licking and sucking is waaay too dainty for me.