OK, fair enough. But talk to them about the rest of it, OK? There is really a huge advantage to getting people like counselors and teachers to see you in a more human light. If they have talked to you at least a little, it makes a huge difference. Especially when it comes to letters of recommendation and also boarderline grades. Sometimes they can give you extra credit tasks to help boost a grade. Worth a try!

MrGupps, don't feel embarrassed...it's good to reach out...but we all just wish you could feel safe to reach out to someone who can truly help you... We on the net/forum here are rather helpless except to give you advice as best we can.

/me has shared all kinds of embarrassing things here on the board from her own illness to her cats being sick etc.

We are all human.

Just don't give up. I remember what 13 was like...hated it! Never would PAY to go back there! But, one day...you will look back and just be glad you made it through these growing pains.

my mom hust put me through a pep talk "ur not stupid" "u got straight A's except for algebra" "Keoppen (my algebra teacher) is just a horrible teacher!" "u got straight 100's in math last year!" ugh hate it.

In any case Im not going to the local shrink.
Mental Therapy is a fancy way of saying "ok, ur mind is messed up, sit in that couch let me fix u, o yes and please empty ur wallet in that bucket over there" +they dont help whatsoever

there is nothing wrong with suicide, its my life, my decision

A school counselor isn't really a psychiatrist. When it is time to go to college everybody goes into that office and (among other things like testing) can ask for letters of reference. All of the teachers and counselors have that for a job. It doesn't hurt to have them think "Oh, yea! Mr Gupps. He is the one who used talked to me!". Otherwise they might get out their form letter, "yeah, this kid must have sat through my class. I gave him an (teacher fills in the blank... A).

On the other end, the people at the college get piles of applications. They have to sort them somehow. So many will have high marks. But when they look through the letters, they know a form letter when they see one. And they appreciate the letter from the teacher who took time to write..."Mr. Gupps was a student that showed a lot of initiative. Through frequent conversation I can say I am impressed by his logical thinking, his thoughtful contributions in class, his obvious drive to understand the subject matter. I am sure he will be able to accomplish anything that he wants. He would do well in any academic or research situation and I highly recommend him to attend your ...." and so on.

It is too easy to put teachers and counselors (academic or not) in a category that is separate than you. But the truth is that they are only good, hardworking people who can and will be your friend if you let them.

You are right, it is your life. But you can do a lot with it if you just put the effort to go through some hurdles now. You are obviously bright. I mean, here you are communicating on a forum with people who are bright and successful. You can make your life be what you want it to be.

I appreciate all this advice I will take it all into consideration


gnight.......

Goodnight, Mr. Gupps. I think you have the kind of 'people brightness' that you just can't measure. And I think, given the chance, you will do well!

MrGupps yes it's your life and your decision but don't be so selfish you don't stop to think about the ppl that love you cuz they are the ones that pick up your tab when you check out, and are left feeling even worser emotions then you are currently feeling and if you love them at all consider them mainly...

Take care and remember school is only temporary!
it does not last forever

school doesn't last 4eva, however it's influence on the rest of ur life (college job etc)does. The decisions i make in high school will effect me the rest of my life

They surely will, MrGupps. You are already asking the kind of questions I didn't ask until much, much later. Since you are starting to see so clearly, so young... well, that impresses me! I have faith in you.

Nothing is actually important in schooling and/or education in general.
It is merely a frustrating stage in life's experiences.
Whatever benefit you get out of it, irrespective of scores or grades or whatever is exactly its worth.
You will learn/are learning far more important 'life skills' in a school than 'Algebra' will EVER benefit you.
No-one needs or deserves 'pressure' to succeed....FROM ANYONE.
If parents 'think' they know what is good or bad for you it should be seen as no more than the guidance of experience....though it will always be your OWN mistakes from which you learn best.

Bottom line.
Nothing matters more than life, and living it.
The longer you do, the more you appreciate it and the opportunities it gives to share parts of it with others.

Success is not measured by what College you go to, or what grades you get, but by how many people are, or become willing to share your friendship.

If your parents are doing the 'pushing', let them also pay for the 'shrink' sessions. That's fair, don't you think?

Apart from all that, Karmagirl posted some links.
Visit them...

Listen to Jafo!

MrGupps, did you read what I wrote about college? I'll repeat it again:
I was kicked out of college. Failed. outta there. Did it ruin my life? Hell no! And, that one bad grade won't ruin yours, either.

You are basically saying that your life is not worth living because you got one lousy grade. If you think that is logical thought, then you haven't thought it through.

I work at Stardock (the company that owns this site) and I have a great life (happily married for almost 7 years, have a 4 year old daughter and work at a great company).

The point is- the school that you end up going to is not going to make your future. *YOU* make your future. You control your destiny. If you have faith in yourself, and know that you want to do great thing, you will do great things no matter what obstacles come in your way.

The best example I can think of is Bill Gates. He dropped out of college to start his own business. Obviously it wasn't the school that controlled his destiny. *He* controlled it.

You are young. Have fun with being young. You have all the time in the world to worry about jobs and crap. Enjoy school and your friends. And in the end, it will be those friends that will mean most to you. Not the grades, not the school you get into, and not the job.

I have faith in you. And, I hope that you can find faith in yourself, too. Just don't ask me for help in math...I'm not so very good in it!

i understand, an example like Bill Gates comes along once in a million (lets hope im that million) I also want to say with pride "I graduated from Yale!" But thats not gonna happen. Karma girl im happy for u, u got lucky.

Unfortunately adults have no idea how hard being a kid has become. The amount of stress i go through is beyond my coping skills

MrGupps, I'm not that old, and I can easily remember being 13. Being an adult has a lot of stress involved to (think about being the one responsible for paying the bills and such).

A "title" (Like I graduated from *fill in the blank*) isn't as glamorous as it sounds. It may seem like it is now, but it really isn't. And, a lot of employers don't even care where you graduate from or what grades you got. They just care that you have a degree and that you have the personal drive to succeed.

And, if you can ever make the statement that something is beyond your coping skills, then you seriously need to speak to somebody. And that is across the board no matter how old you are. There should be no time in your life that you feel that way. Every generation of kid says "it's hard to be a kid". I know, I said it too. But, trust me, it's only hard because you are making it that way. relax. have fun with your young life. You're over thinking stuff. Talk to somebody about your thoughts, it will help.

i think it may take a few years for anyone recently having a birthday to peek over their desk to be able to respond to your question. personally, i havent had 1 since 1959.

Wommers...methinks you be a wee bit too literal...

just having fun jafo...ya gotta have a sense of humor, right?

besides, i have a short attention span and sausage fingers so i only like short responses to message boards. therefore i don't like to get too cerebral here.

Um.... Mr. Gupps... I know you are fairly perceptive, so I think you will get the gist of what I am going to say to you.

You say..."The amount of stress i go through is beyond my coping skills
" and I am wondering if you have any idea at all of the number of the world who either cannot see that, or deny it? Just look around at all the people whose lives have been ruined by dependence on alcohol and/or drugs. You, on the other hand, at 13-years-of-age look clearly at your life and see what you see and have the guts to vocalize it! Now, it occurs to me to wonder... yeah, he can see it but does he have the guts to do something constructive with it? You see, if you have this problem you are among good company. It seems to me that you can act proactive and do something about it now and escape the quagmire that many, many poor souls are caught in.... or you can cop out on yourself and cast your fate with those who have failed to do that. The worst are easy to spot... they live on the streets of nearly every American city. Ah, I see you are thinking you have the perfect solution, but I know from working for long periods in Intensive Care Units and hospital Emergency Departments that when you start stepping that direction you are statistically bound to undergo years of distress... some attempts, and some that may actually lower your IQ!

As I said before, I see that you have more potential and more fight in you than that. Don't look down on mental health care workers. For that matter, don't look down on people who are perceptive enough in this world to feel deeply about the entire situation and who are brave enough to look outward for help. In my experience, both as a professional and a consumer, those people are some of the creme of the crop. And if you still cannot bring yourself to talk about this stuff directly with professionals in that field, it has long been my happy experience that teachers and counselors have a lot of answers. Mostly you can find what you want tangentally... and in the long run come out of the deal not only with better understanding, but also with darn good letters of recommendation that any Ivy League college would be a fool not to consider. THEY WANT PEOPLE WHO ASK QUESTIONS, SEEK ANSWERS, and ACT PROACTIVELY!

/me steps down off her soap-box, dusts it off, and heads on down the message board.

sorry... I know you probably didn't need a lecture right now.

I have to put my 2 cents worth in here for MrGupps. In my life I have started and run 4 businesses. I have had people apply for jobs and say (with pride) I graduated from Yale, or whatever their school happened to be. How impressed was I by this? NOT AT ALL! I wanted to know only one thing--Can you DO this job? Are you qualified, well dressed, well spoken? Then the collage (or even lack of) is not pertinent!
And cheer up! Life is a challenge, enjoy everything it has to offer, even if it's just listening to the birds sing on Sunday morning. Don't miss the beauty life holds. Laugh. Love. Take time to look around and YES, smell the roses! And remember, people have whispered to loved ones "I'm so glad you were in my life", but NO ONE has ever said "Gee, I sure wish I'd gone to Yale" on their deathbed!

Listen to the MouseGoddess.

I actually agree w/ you MrGupps who needs to pay a so called professional I think you'll be fine just speaking more to your mom and a few friends (save the money and go buy them sunflower seeds)

and yes do listen to Mouse up there cuz school is important yes but nothing worth losing your life over (that is just rediculous) you should be having some fun in school right now and trying to learn how to spell and stuff there that's about it, you'll learn more better things when you finish school and land outside in life (that's the real school)

I hope you're feeling better today???

Hey, hang in there MrGupps, you have your entire life ahead of you... me, I stopped having birthdays about ten years ago.. Just remember, tomorrow is always another day and it just might be the best day of your life...