we're closing in on 400

sorry I haven't been around guys. I'm in the middle of a war with a few other people from another community =P.

Well, not really a war... hehe

I am starting the day off right with a fresh brewed cappuccino!!

Ahh, my boyfriend left for home almost an hour ago... He failed to mention the fact that he won't be having lunch with me today before he left because his him wants him home by 1 to have lunch...

Sometimes, I understand that family is important, but one meal...... I don't know. I think it really would have meant more to me than it would to them. I'm kinda ticked off by that.....

I so want to rant, but I've exhausted every place I know to rant my heart out.... I wish... I really wish life would just co-operate with me one time. Let me have a wish I've asked for, doesn't matter if it's new years or if it's on my birthday.... Just one wish.

One simple wish.

The cafeteria is closed for spring break....

That only means I have no source of food for the next five days......

/me cries

Hi Elf
I'll keep ya company for lunch...
don't feel bad the food over in the cafeteria in this place where I'm working from is dangerous for your health (and it's a hospital) hehe

me ain't touchin it
and I'm thinking you really need to get some good recipes from your boyfriends mom, cuz she must cook good and that is why he keeps leaving you and going home to eat! hehe
call her up and get some recipes and make "your lunches" more inticing

anyways gotta run, meeting cancelled off to home...

cheer up you!

This is a dorm. We're not allowed to cook in our rooms. And as for my boyfriend's mom? Blah. If I can seen or hear less of his family, the better off I am.

No one beats my mom is cooking. Rob's mom may cook nice, but she needs to learn to have a bit of variety.

I'm cold...I'm hungry.

Well,

the war with ee (yeah right..a war..it's just a conflict)..is pretty much resolved...

No, no details =P

Hmmm Elf, wellll then I hope you can make killer cold sandwichs for this guy? hehe

(try to get along w/ his mom)

Doreen,

Up till this point, I really don't care anymore. I've talked it over with Rob, he claims there's nothing he can do. They're his parents....

"Yes, and I'm your girlfriend, if that means anything to you"

You know, I don't demand much. Just one meal, one little vacation time with my boyfriend. His parents can have him the rest of the time. That's all I ask. Can anyone honestly tell me that's too much to ask? The last time I had some quality time with my boyfriend was 8 months ago...when we first went out during that one week vacation because of the flood. The rest of the time? There's school, and there's parents.

He'll be home for three months this summer. They can't even let me have one lunch before spring break starts?!?

I'm trying so hard, but I think I really should start being a bit more selfish and start thinking for myself. I think for other people, who the hell is thinking for me?

But Doreen, thanks for hanging in here with me.

This is thinking for yourself I told you this a couple of weeks ago up there ^^^
===========================================================
all you need to do is find quiet time to make some important decisions (me I run to the ocean to think)

what is "most" important to "you" if you've told Rob and he is actually aware of "your" feelings and he still does not respond, then his priorities are not going to ever make "you" happy,
so maybe you should move on?
(now only if our hearts would co-operate that would be very easy huh?) hehe
by Doreen - 2/14/2002 9:16:52 AM

if he puts his parents first (specially when he cannot sacrafice for one little meal) he ain't ready for you Elf...
so move on (sorry rob) hehe

don't be sad, you'll find someone that will want to spend all his time w/ you! watch

He did respond. He asked me what I would do in his situation. I told him. I said I would compromise with my parents. If I ask for time now, I return it sometime later. He said he'll use the spring break to spend quality time with me....I said I wanted the entire spring break. He said that wasn't possible. He -had- to go home. His excuse was he wasn't home very much the past two years.....

I relented. I settled for Spring Break. I settled for a compromise that wasn't mine in the first place. He'll spend half of his time home, and half of it here with me. It was better than nothing.... I told myself that....

But then he said he won't be here summer cause his parents want him home. 3 months..... His parents has managed to occupy, not only the summer (that I understand, it's a financial issue), but also half of spring break... my wanted quality time.

So I ask myself when can I get the real deal? After college? Six years from now? When I finally get married? I don't know. He never gave me a sure answer. Of course he can't, life wouldn't let him, or me. I just keep telling myself that it would get better. For every up there is a down....and it continues in a cycle.

They say love should withstand every obstacle that comes on the path. I've stood unbudging for this long, holding all things inside me, only pouring it out on my journal.....

I don't want to move on. I love him more than my life..... He's such a rare find...

I always seem to find myself braving an ice storm just so I can find that one lost item so close to my heart.

Oh Doreen, I wish I could do as you say.

Elf the one you Love should bring you joy, you don't sound very joyful... =/

If you think you see a light at the end of his "time tunnel" hold on, if you feel neglected and placed on the back burner and don't think you're gettin what you want out of this relationship.
move on...

nothing wrong w/ compromising for the one you love "But" if it becomes a constant one way street and you're always gettin the short end of the stick.
move on...

(I have some stuff I'm working on tonight, but maybe tomorrow I'll go into irc and look for you)

Cheer up! and don't try to find your only happiness in another person,
cuz that's not always a reliable source that's ONLY an added "Bonus" life throws at you on the side... hehe

He's trying hard to though. It's not as if he isn't even trying to do something. He sheds tears. He's cried. I know he has. He tries so hard, that's why I don't push hard.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel, but the both of us just stumbled and fell, needing a bit of rest....

Maybe after a while, when we've finally pull through all the other little problems we have, then we can pull back together.

Until then, there really is only hope.... and understanding.

Maybe I should quit whining and just enjoy the time I do have with him (in school only), instead of asking for more.....

Don't let tears fool ya, it's "actions" that count...

and yes enjoy the time you have w/ him in class, hopefully things will get better for you!

anyways, goodluck Elf

Thanks, Doreen

Okay, tea is good in cold weather

Hmm, I called up Rob........ I guess he's returning a bit earlier than he said he would on Wednesday.....

*sigh*

This thread's dead, I suppose.

Sorry Elf, I went into irc looking for you tonight, but I missed you and can't go back again, off to catch some Zzzzz's right now...

but we'll catch up soon

/me gives this thread CPR

Good grief! I just got back from ten days vacation in the Cook Islands, South Pacific (look it up in your atlas!) and this thread's still going!! It took nearly as long to load the thing on my slightly asthmatic modem and another three days to scroll down to the bottom. The gals seem to have kept it alive with fewer and fewer chaps participating (interesting) but the topics have made for some fascinating reading! Mind you, I don't think I'll be printing this thread out (for analysis) as I simply don't have that quantity of paper... or staying power! But keep it up - we'll make "War & Peace" look like a pamphlet at this rate!

If you need a new topic, by the way, I'd be delighted to tell you all about the absolutely beautiful Cook Islands (found it on the map yet?)

Otherwise, sorry to have interrupted...

This thread always seems to linger near death on the weekends. Let's see ... waste time at work reading/replying here with a T1 while I'm getting paid, or waste even more time at home waiting for this to load over a 56K connection. You do the math.

Let's see... Cook Islands, South Pacific. That's where they're doing "Survivor" now, right?

Elf,
I am only going to reply to this once, so if you want to get mad at me, here is your chance (then you can get over it, because I'm not going to say it again):
Move on. You are just dating this guy, and it doesn't even sound like you are going on dates. I have way less issues than these and I'm married. If he can't stand up to his parents, and you can't stand his parents, then you have a problem. When you marry somebody, you get their family too. Parents will *always* have a roll in your life, and it sounds like he is very attached to his parents. This is just going to cause more and more problems as time goes on. You can't expect him to ignore his parents, just as you can't expect him to ignore you. If his parents aren't willing to give him time to be with you (assuming that he has actually talked to them) then they will always be standing in your way of something, and you will always be upset. The fact that he left you alone in the dorms knowing that the cafeteria isn't even open, makes my spidey senses tingle. Something is just not right, girl. I know that it is hard to see past a current situation, but, things happen for a reason. Maybe this isn't the guy for you, but dating him has brought you to a place in life that will let you meet the *real* guy for you. Either that, or this guy needs to cut the apron strings.....

OK, I'm done with my opinion

JavaBrain,

I understand your point of view perfectly, and I hold the same views too, to an extent (so it's not quite possible to get mad at you).

I'm his first girlfriend (and he's my first boyfriend), so I'm willing to help him learn, just as I'm learning. First ones seems to have more trouble than the rest, as after experience, people learn.

Yes, I understand that parents are protective and posessive. Mine are too as sometimes I find myself battling for my own time against them. My parents, as protective, as possesive, has slowly learned to let me go for periods of times. There are some times were I can't argue, but there are times were I can compromise and make an arguement reflect on my side.

Granted, I don't know his parents well enough to place such a piece of judgement, but Rob really hasn't talked to them yet. I don't know if he's afraid, but I know he's uneasy. Both of us grew up learning not to say "no" to Mom and Dad if they have no unfair demands. Having kids home is just one of them.... to a certain extent.

Both of us are 20, and we're talking the first steps other people have taken a few years back, and maybe more. We're late bloomers it seems.... but I guess with time, with patience, and a lot of ranting, we'll get by... or I'll knock some sense into his parents for him....

Parents play a role, but as Cordelia of King Lear declares to her father....

CORDELIA
Unhappy that I am, I cannot heave
My heart into my mouth: I love your majesty
According to my bond; nor more nor less.

KING LEAR
How, how, Cordelia! mend your speech a little,
Lest it may mar your fortunes.

CORDELIA
Good my lord,
You have begot me, bred me, loved me: I
Return those duties back as are right fit,
Obey you, love you, and most honour you.
Why have my sisters husbands, if they say
They love you all? Haply, when I shall wed,
That lord whose hand must take my plight shall carry
Half my love with him, half my care and duty:
Sure, I shall never marry like my sisters,
To love my father all.

KING LEAR
But goes thy heart with this?

CORDELIA
Ay, good my lord.

KING LEAR
So young, and so untender?

CORDELIA
So young, my lord, and true.


True, that is marriage..

Even though having a gf/bf relationship isn't a marriage committment, there needs to be some sort of one. Rob knows this, but his parents don't seem to remember as their dating years have been...at least past into the 20s...and counting.

We've talked for an hour over the phone yesterday. He said he'll change, he'll correct things....

and me? I'm stubborn. I refuse to let myself dis-trust him. Maybe he isn't the one for me, but if he is? Then what? Walk away and never turn back?f

I love that play

LoidiBoid,

So, tell us about your vacation .


.... and what's with the "f" after my question mark....urgh