Told you not to blow them balloons up to much. Next time make them little this way once you do the first go round after they chase you you can sit out the rest.

Nah, they weren't balloons... they were my man boobs (moobies)

lol... good call, "bro" (Seinfeld).

Has gravity become an issue?

Yup, sure has!  What I want to stay up is going down further all the time.

And some things (well one in particular) thinks gravity is an excuse not to get up at all.

Time to get the ...... IMPLANT!

I applied for a new implant but they sent me back all these forms to fill out. A form for a tax concession on a new implant; a form for a supplementary benefit for having had an unemployed implant; a form for tax relief on artificial body parts; a form for discount on the surgical procedure if I'm over 55; a form for a levy reduction on the recovery period in the implant clinic; a form for excise reduction on new implant lubricant, and an income tax form for when my implant is again gainfully employed.

By the time I fill out all these forms and provide all the evidentiary documentation in support of each claim, I'll probably be too old and will have forgotten what an implant's used for. 

Still, it'd look pretty impressive in the retirement village lawn bowls locker room.

So give all those forms to mrs starkers for duplication then load them up in your browser, which remembers everything, download them, print them out and all of them will be signed sealed and all you got to do is call up the revenooer and tell him to come and get them. Simple.

I wish it were that simple.  The revenooer wants them filled out in triplicate.... hand written in red ink, signed and witnessed, and counter-signed and witnessed by an officer of the court.

It might be simpler and much quicker to go 'black market' with this.  That cuts out all the red tape and bureaucratic BS.... not to mention having a selection of sizes, textures and colours to choose from.  The thing is, black marketeers charge like a wounded bull chasing an upstart matador who just stuck a spear in its rump. 

Oh well, gotta pay if yer wanna play, I guess.

I'll supply the texture

How 'd you know it was rusty?

Lucky guess. Now the size.

We WON'T be going there, will we!!!!  

While my waistline and everything else seems to be getting bigger with age....

Besides, at my age it's not the size that counts... it's how dependable my incontinence pads are.

Then I won't give you the color. I figure you got enough of that when the Depends aren't.

Why don't you just download a torrent from Implant Bay.   

Now why didn't I thunk that? You truly are a wizard. Can I have your autograph?

I don't need you to give me a colour.... everything inside my underwear has a green tinge.

[quote]Oh well, gotta pay if yer wanna play, I guess.

Why don't you just download a torrent from Implant Bay[/quote]

I tried that already....damned thing came with a 'crack' in it.  

And now I know why they call it 'warez'.... warez out before the use by date rolls around.

Oh, and BTW, Wiz, you wanna hope Jafo doesn't come in here and see that you've promoted the idea of obtaining an implant from a warez site.

You know how he feels about warez...  

You might be lucky to get off with a warning this time.... then he'd tell me to go buy one from the developer.

Hope they're available through BestBuy or Amazon, then.... cos otherwise it a long bloody way to go. 

Hehe, I can see it now:  "Hey honey, your new dick just arrived in the post!"

New implants for sale ...................... get 'em while they're HOT!

Weren't we talkin' about maggots?

Did maggots infiltrate the new implant stock?

Is that why people are flocking to 'warez' sites?

Is Jafo gonna kill us for bringing up 'warez'???

Yeah, we were talking about maggots... it's amazing, really, how I manage to pirate my own thread. 

Guess I'm so used to doing it to others threads, sooner or later it was inevitable.

And no, the maggots didn't infiltrate the implant stock.  They saw them and thought: "Geez, they're mighty big f**king worms!" and went the other way for fear of being eaten.

It's funny, I always fairly naive and thought a warez site was where plumbers and the like picked up porcelain ware... you know, toilets and the like.  Then Jafo edjurcated me.

If he does... it's Wiz's fault.

I concur completely. If'n we get killed dead I ain't gonna play with Wiz no more. Blame it on Jafo, he did it.

Probably no less, either!   I wonder what his missus will have to say about that.

I didn't stick around long enough to find out. There's this really really big bunny guarding the front lawn. I didn't think bunnies had eight inch fangs and claws sharp enough to rend steel. Needless to say a hasty exit was a good idea.

And I can see it now... your little legs running ten to the dozen on the spot (like in the cartoons) for 20 seconds or so before you start moving.