I so want to be simple.....

from JoeUser Forums

I'm trying to be simple.

No, not simple minded.  Simple.  As in living simply.

I don't want to have clothes spilling out of my closet.  I don't want to have a shoe rack that's full.  I don't want to have gadgets for this and that and the other.  I don't want to have a tub full of cleaning products.  I don't want to have 'stuff', period.

I want to have a few things that I like, that work well and that serve their purpose.  I want to get rid off the fluff, rid of the bits and pieces and this and that's and all the extras that come with living in modern society.

It's hard to be simple.  Actually, it's not hard BEING simple, it's hard getting there.  Everywhere you look, there are advertsiments telling you that you NEED this, that you MUST have this or that or the other, that this will make your life so much easier, that this will make you look so much younger, thinner or healthier, that this thing is bigger and better and faster than the one you have and that if you don't get it you'll be left behind; you'll be a societal reject if you don't buy what they're selling.

There are even adverts for things that claim to make your life simpler.  Yep, instead of getting rid of stuff to simplify, they want you to get MORE stuff.  Sometimes the stuff you get CAN make your life simpler because you can get rid of three or four things and replace them with ONE thing, but...some of the stuff they try to sell you under the banner heading of 'simplicity' is unreal.  Some of these companies advertising dudes are stretching the limits of reality with their claims.  Either that or they have a different version od simplicity than I do.

It's hard to get a simple life.  It's hard to get rid of stuff.  I know that once I do I'll feel better, but man, it's tough.  I'm still in the mind-set that we have no money and that I have to get stuff whilst it's on sale because we won't be able to get it later.  We're not rich, but we're better off now than we were back then.  I like to sale-shop, yes.....but I don't HAVE to.  Ridding myself of that way of thinking is hard.  I don't want to let go.  I don't want to give things away or sell them.  I'll get rid of them and then panic because we have no stuff and then I'll go buy MORE stuff....and so the cycle repeats.  Rid, panic, buy.  Again and again.

So, I guess the real challenge isn't getting rid of stuff, it's NOT getting more stuff.  It's getting myself out of that way of thinking, and just as importantly, setting safeguards so that I won't fall prey to media and societal pressure and go buy buy buy again.  THAT'S the solution.  THAT'S what my goal should be.  Not just to rid myself of stuff, but to break the cycle.

That's going to be hard.  But I guess if I want it enough, I'll do it. 

And I do want it.  I want to be simple, to live simply.  I honestly believe that your life and house should be a reflection of your mental state.  My house right now is clean, but untidy.  I feel like I have to battle stuff everyday, I have to corral it and get it in its place before I can get down to the cleaning.  I'm starting to detest that, which is a motivating factor.

The question now is, which comes first?  Do I get rid of stuff to clear my mind, or do I clear my mind and then get rid of the stuff?

Hmm.  That's quite the conumdrum. 

 

misc
6,970 views 18 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
as colleen and I have aged ,we have become the epitomy of minimalist in possessions. You are right it's not easy but can be done. Makes life much easier btw,
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
Great article! and thinking that is beyond your years, IMHO.

My 65 year old sister has always ( it seems) had this outlook on life, and now more than ever in her
retirement years.

My kid sister thought I was a minimalist....years ago. I just didn't have much! cause I couldn't!

Which comes first? the doing or the action? in my own experience with this stuff...ah I threw away things in an attempt to
do what you're contemplating!

Threw away stuff I should'nt have....

sooooooo... it's all up to you. Whatever works for you.
want a cookie?
and I sent you an email too about my number.
Ashes of the Singularity II
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
It's so hard persuing the Tao way of life, ain't it Dharma?
Or is it? Maybe it's the simplest thing in the world if we just relax and let it be...
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
Threw away stuff I should'nt have....


I have a fear of that. I grow very sentimentally attached to many things, and it really messes me up to get rid of things. I do, of course, because I have to, but it hurts to let go of things like the boy's clothes (so many memories!), or old phones (I might need it someday!), or anything else, really.

I can hardly stand to chunk their school work. I have boxes full of the stuff.

Dharma: I think that the mindset has to come first. I think you have to be at peace with simplicity and with the idea that you will not acquire more and more and especially that you will get rid of things that you've grown accustomed to having.

I can see you doing really well with this. I think it suits you. Chaos can be really stressful. Clutter and lust for "things" is about as chaotic as it gets.

Good luck!
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
It's getting myself out of that way of thinking, and just as importantly, setting safeguards so that I won't fall prey to media and societal pressure and go buy buy buy again.


When I ponder living simple, my poor childhood flash's before my eyes. When I consider the lifestyle we have then compare ours to lifestyles of friends, we're living simple. However, that changes when visiting the simple home of our son's friend. It's not unreasonable to think subjectivity and self control have a part in where simplicity starts and ends.

Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
Best of luck Dharma. It can be very difficult to simplify. The world just seems to be stacked against it.
Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top
I think Tex may misunderstand the meaning of "stuff". If I were you T. Wahine, I'd keep your "stuff". Those are memories, not plasma televisions, luxury cars, automated coin sorters, heated socks, massaging recliners, et al. I blame the Joneses. It's all their fault. By the way, I'm starting a Waylon Jennings cult in Luchenbach. Come join me.

All kidding aside, I understand. My wife has dragged me into this world of crap. I'm still perfectly happy with rabbit ears on my television, they're still on my bedroom telly. I hate air conditioning, I'll never pay for a car that costs as much as my parents first house. I made my wife cook from scratch when we first married, just to prove that "real" food didn't come from a box or microwave. Simple is always better.
Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top
I made my wife cook from scratch when we first married, just to prove that "real" food didn't come from a box or microwave.


She put up with that?!? I knew there must have been something worthwhile about being part of an older generation...
Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top
I think Tex may misunderstand the meaning of "stuff". If I were you T. Wahine, I'd keep your "stuff". Those are memories, not plasma televisions, luxury cars, automated coin sorters, heated socks, massaging recliners, et al.


Perhaps. Although I took it to mean all the excess, from high-priced luxury goods to too much of everything (clothes, electronics, household items, everything).

And don't worry, haha. I keep my stuff. I give what I can bear to part with to Big Brothers/Big Sisters, but still manage to hang on to so much of it. I am sentimental about the stupidest things (clothes, coffee mugs, old game consoles, kids toys).
Reply #10 from JoeUser Forums Top
You can never have to many memories Tex, especially the good ones. If read what you've just written, your sentimental objects are the simple ones. Except maybe the Xbox 360. That's just over the top. But you hit it on the head with the luxury stuff. And they thought the 80's were bad.
Reply #11 from JoeUser Forums Top
Except maybe the Xbox 360.


Hehe. We don't own one yet. I'm talking old school, baby. Like the Super NES my husband and I played on when we were dating.
Reply #12 from JoeUser Forums Top

as colleen and I have aged ,we have become the epitomy of minimalist in possessions. You are right it's not easy but can be done. Makes life much easier btw

You know, the older I get the more I want to live simply and quietly.

in my own experience with this stuff...ah I threw away things in an attempt to
do what you're contemplating!

Threw away stuff I should'nt have....

That's what I'm afraid of.  I'm going to have to take a long hard look at what we've got and decide what needs to go and what needs to stay.  If I don't love it, but use it often, it stays.  If I love it, and I use it all the time, it stays.  If I like it, think it's 'okay' and wear it or use it sometimes....it goes.  It's really that simple.  I think I'd rather be surrounded by things I love and use all the time than things I think are just 'okay'.

 

It's so hard persuing the Tao way of life, ain't it Dharma?
Or is it? Maybe it's the simplest thing in the world if we just relax and let it be

Ah, Shovel....I'm sometimes so sad that we don't live closer.  I'd love to sit an have a few beers with you and talk about life and happenings and such.  You have such a presence to you online....I cannot imagine what it's like in person.

But yes, I think that if I can have a few quiet days, removed from the advertising radar and the pressure of society....I think that I can truly let the Tao flow as it will and get my life simplified.  I have to find that small dark light and use it to illuminate my way....

 

I can see you doing really well with this. I think it suits you. Chaos can be really stressful. Clutter and lust for "things" is about as chaotic as it gets

Thanls for you confidence in me, confidence that I myself don't have.  I'm going to try, and you might be on the recieving end of my trying (I know you like perfumes and stuff, and I have some that I like but don't use hardly ever. I'd rather give it to my friends than toss it out, so you and a couple of other people on here are going to be the recipients of it.  If you're agreeable, that is.  Also, what size T shirt do you wear? 

  

When I consider the lifestyle we have then compare ours to lifestyles of friends, we're living simple. However, that changes when visiting the simple home of our son's friend

We thought about buying a big screen TV because the people down the street had one and we watched a movie at their house and liked it.  But you know what?  It's not us.  We're happy with our 29" one and the 19" in  our bedroom.  It works.  That's all that matters to me.  So, we didn't buy one. 

 

It can be very difficult to simplify. The world just seems to be stacked against it

Yes, it does.  There's a vortex that people get sucked into, a vortex of commercialism and of quasi-greed that Americans get caught up in.  I've been spinning in it for some time, actually.  But all that spinning is making me sick, and I want to get out.  It's hard, though.......but I can do it.  I can.  I just have to get that frame of mind.

I blame the Joneses. It's all their fault. By the way, I'm starting a Waylon Jennings cult in Luchenbach. Come join me.

It IS the Joneses! Those bastards, then and their goddam pressure to keep up.  If they'd only quite buying shit all the fucking time, life would be much easier and our savings account would be a lot healthier.

   

I knew there must have been something worthwhile about being part of an older generation...

Oy, watch out where you're flinging those comments around at, pally.  I'm not the 'older' generation, and I cook from scratch all the time!  Want some freshly baked bread?  How 'bout some carmel apple pie with the home made pastry crust?  'Cause you can get them both on a regular basis at my house, and I'm not 40 for a few years yet.

Reply #13 from JoeUser Forums Top
I downsize every year. I only keep report cards, the rest goes in the garbage. I take pictures and box them.

My rule of thumb is 12 months. If I haven't used it, or looked at it (books, magazines etc) in the last 12 months, it goes AWAY.

We have a new house and I have things that just don't fit its "style." Those things are gone the first of summer, yard sale.

I can honestly say there isn't anything I own I would grieve for if lost tomorrow. I might be upset for a little while, especially pictures, but I'd get over it pretty quick.

Every time we move and I wave good bye to everything we own, as the movers are driving down the street....I feel FREE. We joke and say we are "homeless" now, but the weight of all that crap is GONE. It is so nice.

Then when I am unpacking (often several weeks later) if I don't "love" it as I unpack it, I get rid of it.

I think having a non cluttered environment makes for a more peaceful house. If I know my closets are disorganized and stuffed with junk, I can not do anything recreational until they are taken care of......

We had all our worldly possessions down to 8,000 pounds a few years ago. That includes every single item from dish towels, beds, dressers, couch, clothes..all of it.

And it REALLY did make a big difference D. So I am all for downsizing.

Good luck!
Reply #14 from JoeUser Forums Top
I took it to mean all the excess, from high-priced luxury goods to too much of everything (clothes, electronics, household items, everything).

I meant everything that you have too much of that you don't use...just superflous 'stuff'.

We don't own one yet. I'm talking old school, baby. Like the Super NES my husband and I played on when we were dating.

HAHAHAH!! We had a Sega when we first stated going out and were married. We upgraded to a SNES, then to a play station, game cube and then x box. The SNES and the gamecube broke, we had to replace the Playstation with with PS2, and the Xbox still plays well and gets used a lot....so we aint gettin' no highfulootin' 360 gadget notime soon. We's a-savin to go across the pond on vacation, so some of the stuff i get rid of on Ebay will help fund that.

think having a non cluttered environment makes for a more peaceful house. If I know my closets are disorganized and stuffed with junk, I can not do anything recreational until they are taken care of......

See, I think that's part of my problem. I'm grouchy because there's always something to tidy. It drives me insane.

It's going to be interesting to see if I get calmer after the house is less cluttered.
Reply #15 from JoeUser Forums Top
I need a combination of weeding out stuff and organizing what I keep. I took the first step and am about to get shelves in the storage area of the basement. I am then going to go through every box and decide if we need to keep it or can part with it. Some stuff, like my wedding gown, I'll keep but it can go in one of the deep corner shelves since I won't have to access it for a long time (possibly never).

Stuff can really bog you down. My mom has a system of every time she gets something new she gets rid of something. She minimalized when she moved into a smaller house and uses that system for keeping the clutter from creeping back up.

I want to be simple too Karen and probably succeed in the less desirable way
Reply #16 from JoeUser Forums Top
If you are concerned about throwing away things that you may later regret, try this. Sort stuff (as you are decluttering) into groups....give away/sell, throw away, keep and quarentine. The quarentine stuff is things that you want to ditch but think you may want later. Take them, put them in a box somewhere that's less accessible. Seal and Date the box. IF you haven't needed or wanted anything that is in there after a year, you throw the box away, still sealed. (If you open it, you may rethink the items and bring them back into the house)

Your mind didn't clear in a few days and neither will your house. Remember to tell yourself that!

And i'm making this reply really long, so pelase forgive me, but I have a sticky in my computer room that I haven't thought about (because it was covered with papers)

*Give up as much as you can, not out of martyrdom, but to have the space and visual calm you need to give yourself a higher standard of living.
*I'm only being selfish if I insist on keeping something that I don't need when someone else could use it.

Thanks for the mental boost to me as I strive for that simpler life.
Reply #17 from JoeUser Forums Top

I want to be simple...except for the shoes.  I *love* shoes.  I have a whole bunch of odd shoes, some of which I've have for well over 12 years.  I guess I could get rid of some of them and just not buy more....maybe.

I am working on getting rid of the extra "stuff" in our house.  I have boxes that I never opened from our last move, which was over 6 years ago.  I feel like just throwing them out, but there are a few "memory" possessions that I still can't locate.

I have been losing weight, so I plan on donating all the clothes that i shrink out of and only buying some well fitting clothes that I will wear all the time.

It's a lot of work to get "simple", but I think it is worth it.

Reply #18 from JoeUser Forums Top
Tova:
Every time we move and I wave good bye to everything we own, as the movers are driving down the street....I feel FREE. We joke and say we are "homeless" now, but the weight of all that crap is GONE. It is so nice.

Then when I am unpacking (often several weeks later) if I don't "love" it as I unpack it, I get rid of it.


My wife and I are going through this now. We sorted through a lot of stuff as we packed it up, but there's still all kinds of "stuff" that we need to address.

As we unpack the boxes in the new apartment we're looking at things - if we don't use them regularly (there's lots of stuff in the boxes that we've not unpacked yet that we've not even missed) then it's going back into another box for donation to Goodwill or the Salvation Army. So far - it's about a ratio of 3 boxes unpacked to 1 put away, 1 trashed outright (broken stuff or obsolete papers and stuff that I wouldn't even give to Goodwill), and 1 box of stuff to be donated. The trash guys love us. Now, if I can only remember to get receipts for all this stuff we donate so that we can use it as a charitable donation on the tax forms next year.