Birthday-time Crisis Has Arrived

g'damfoikkingshyte

from JoeUser Forums
It hardly ever fails.

Every year, sometime around my birthday, a crisis erupts that threatens life and home. Combine the crap that tends to happen to me around the end of year holidays with the annual birthday-time crises and you can see why I'm tense and watchful from December to May.

This year's crisis hit last week, coming just days post-birthday.

As a result, my presence around here will be greatly limited. I'm not even sure if I'll have Internet access beyond next week. (I almost titled this "My Last Article?")

I had a few articles fully and partially finished (about 3 involving the Schiavos) that should have already been posted. I don't know whether to just toss them up or forget them.

I was just getting better, now I'm nothing but distressed, confused, and worried.


Life sucks.

1,686 views 8 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top

Gene, what happened?  Can I help?

I'll send you an email...

Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
Well, it's nice to know that one person out of the hundred-some-odd that read this a week gives a rat's ass.

Same old, same old -- for me, anyway: a sudden, inexplicable loss of all finances. I can't find out what happened. I can't get most people on the phone, and the few I got won't tell me anything -- like it's none of my business where all my money went. I'm destitute. Can't pay the rent, can't pay the bills, spent the last $2 on cat food and told him to be conservative. He meowed, "Shut up and put it in the bowl."

I don't know what I'm going to do. It's been a week and I'm falling flat on my face.


I'll send you an email...


If you did, I didn't receive it.



...crap, i can't even decide whether or not to press "post comment"...
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Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
I am sorry to hear of your difficulties, but you must rely on your Maxwellian senses to get you through this.

If you have anyone in debt to you now is the time to call in that debt!
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
If you have anyone in debt to you now is the time to call in that debt!


You know this biz, you're either on top or you're a pariah. It looks as if I will reluctantly be calling in some favors though.

That's okay, I'll be bigger than ever someday and everyone will be my best friend. That's the way it goes.


Well, the English like me. Maybe I should open a London office? I know, I'll marry a Brit chick and become a citizen. I'll be the male Madonna. I look lousy in a bustier and fishnets, though.

(I'd better be careful, no sooner had I made peace with Australia than they came after me with their steely knives sharpened....)
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
Reply By: Sick boy.
Poke and sniff, poke and sniff.


Well you wouldn't be so sick if you'd stop poking at it. Really, don't you know what it smells like by now?


As always, "We thank you for your support."
Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top
i hadnt run across this til just now (ill cop to negligence but i gotta be convicted of apathy). i hope the fact of you providing medical advice to your fan is an indication things are improving or (even better) have improved.
Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top
(ill cop to negligence but i gotta be convicted of apathy)


You're not the only one. My readership is way down lately. (Unless you were clicking on my homepage 20 times a day -- that would account for it... )


i hope the fact of you providing medical advice to your fan is an indication things are improving or (even better) have improved.


Not really. I've made jokes while being rushed to hospitals. That's just what I do. My last words will probably be nothing more profound than an elephant joke.

"Why can't you go into the jungle between 3 and 4 in the afternoon? That's when the elephants are jumping out of trees."

The crisis rages on. And I hate to say I am pathetic. I'm getting nowhere fast in what would be my best hope, despite my best intentions. You know how they say "If you could have done better you would have"? Apparently I've already been doing my best, because despite the crisis, I haven't been able to do any better. I haven't managed to get even one offer posted in nearly 3 weeks. *SIGH* I hate me. I thought I would heroically work around the clock and get this covered in no time. Instead it's more of the same with me and my on-again-off-again brain. I'm just not getting it done.

I guess I should have listened to the people who tried to get me on the public dole (Social Security) before, then this would have been moot. I'm desperate enough to have looked into it, as much as I hate the idea, but it takes four months to even get a decision -- and by that time it again seems moot to me. Oh well.

I'll probably post an update article soon.

"Why are pygmies so short? They went into the jungle between three and four in the afternoon."