No Roadkill Candy? YOU BASTARDS!

from JoeUser Forums

Apparently, the New Jersey Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Animals has too light a workload.

The group filed a complaint against Kraft Foods for its plans to make "Gummi roadkill" animals (snakes, squirrels, etc), complete with tire treads, on the premise that it teaches children to be cruel to animals.

See, this is why juvenile violence is on the rise. No longer is it PC to "experiment" on flies by removing their wings and limbs one by one, or to put salt in increasingly smaller concentric circles around slugs to watch them melt away like the Wicked Witch from "the Wizard of Oz". No, our "kinder, gentler" nation has failed to enable the violent side that is so integral to who we are and children, lacking an acceptable outlet, turn on each other with violent fury.

So, give us back our gummy roadkill. Let us poison pigeons in the park. Not only will our cities become cleaner, happier places, but we just might stop hurting each other.

1,027 views 8 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
I saw another article on this before, and I must ask again, why on Earth would you make Gummy Roadkill, of all things? It seems to me the only thing madder than banning it.
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
why on Earth would you make Gummy Roadkill, of all things?
because kids like gross candy? seems pretty straightforward there.
Sins of a Solar Empire: Rebellion
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
because kids like gross candy? seems pretty straightforward there


I suppose. But I wouldn't eat it. That may be because I don't like gummy foodstuffs, but I certainly wouldn't eat it.
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
Just as a side note: I never tortured small animals, and I didn't feel the need to be aggressive towards other children.

The proposed ban on this candy is outrageous, but so is the assertion that juvenile violence is on the rise because violence on animals is decreasing.
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
Yeah, I'm all for gummi road kill, but poisoning pigeons seems a bit much. Many violent criminals have histories of torturing and abusing animals.
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
When will they realize that plants have feelings too?!
Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top

Yeah, I'm all for gummi road kill, but poisoning pigeons seems a bit much.

Myrr,

'twas an offhand reference to an old Tom Lehrer song...lol