No, Playing "Combat" Solitaire *Doesn't* = a Bronze Star
Livin' My Vietnam Fantasy....
When is enough enough? Honestly I thought I had seen the bottom of the retardation barrel already in my 14 year tour through the Military Intelligence kingdom of loathing but I was wrong.
Our illustrious unit has decreed that all members of the unit who are deployed here in Iraq will get an award when we go home. Furthermore the minimum award will be an Army Commendation Medal (ARCOM). Of course since it is a combat zone administrative awards higher than an ARCOM (such as a Meritorious Service Medal (MSM)) are not authorized so it is either write a soldier up for the ARCOM or the next step up to the Bronze Star. Bronze Star? Are you people fucking high? Here is the key in the award description:
Awards may be made for acts of heroism, performed under circumstances described above, which are of lesser degree than required for the award of the Silver Star.
At the risk of breaking kayfabe we ain't doing any hero stuff here. There are guys kicking in doors and sweeping neighborhoods week in and week out who deserve their Bronze Stars while we sit here and get fat at the KBR chowhall.
Perspective guys! Perspective! A Bronze Star won't actually make your dicks any bigger.