take yourself a break and read these.........

A man walks into a bar and he orders one drink after another repeatedly.
Until the bartender asks him why you drinking so much so fast?
The man studderly answers him "you would too if you have what i have"
"And what may that be?" the bartender asks.
"50 cents" says the man!

3 guys talkin about thier daughters:
Bill says "my daughter, she is lazy, so i took it upon myself to clean up her room. I found a empty pack of cigarettes. I never realized she smoked."

Then Ted says: "i done that once too, and i found empty beer bottles in my daughters room, i never realized that she drank"

Bob replies: "you guys worry to much, when i cleaned out my daughters room i found a box of used condoms under her bed, geesh guys i never knew that she had a *oc*"

I hope this may relieve some tension amongst you skinners that work so hard.

almost forgot my 7 year old daughter says hi!
13,924 views 39 replies
Reply #3 Top
as long as you get the idea, i know most of us here are adults, but i did this in the event of children and/or young adults. but if your not sure on the word add a C in front then K in the back.
Reply #5 Top
hehe I did not get it either, Thanks spoon for clearing that up... hehe
Reply #6 Top
A Rabi, a Priest, and a penguin walk into a bar and the bartender asks, "What is this, a joke?"
Reply #8 Top
Hey, get your mind out of the gutter. Some of us would like our turn wallowing in filth.
Reply #9 Top
....Third Eye....
Reply #10 Top
spoon_T_Rex, i dont know what you are worried about.

not only did i figure it out, i also remembered it
Reply #11 Top
at least you didnt live it feline
Reply #12 Top
yep, no one else cleans my room
Reply #13 Top
i thought maybe you hard working skinners would like a litte something to break the ice, i got plenty of them as i am sure so do many people here. I've enjoyed myself with this site for quite some time, I find it very hard since i am so little in knowledge as in making an actual skin for windowblinds, so i decided to use the talent that i have to hopefully help.
Reply #14 Top
How about this old one:

"The Gift"

A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's birthday, and
as they had not been dating very long, after careful consideration, he
decided a pair of gloves would strike the right note: romantic, but not too
personal.

Accompanied by his sweetheart's younger sister, he went to a store and
bought a pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of panties for
herself.

During the wrapping, the clerk mixed up the items and the sister got the
gloves and the sweetheart got the panties. Without checking the contents,
the young man sealed the package and sent it to his sweetheart with the
following note:

"I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing
any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I
would have chosen the long ones with the buttons, but she wears short ones
that are easier to remove.

"These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the
pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they were hardly
soiled. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart.

"I wish I was there to put them on for you the first time, as no doubt other
hands will come in contact with them before I have a chance to see you
again.

"When you take them off, remember to blow in them before putting them away
as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing.

"Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year. I hope
you will wear them for me on Friday night. All my love.

"P.S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur
showing."
Reply #16 Top
juni...I remember that one....
Reply #17 Top
Well of course you do, it first appeared even before WWII....grandpa
Reply #18 Top
/me looks at wizop's capabilities....hmmm somewhere around here is the 'delete juni' button...
Reply #19 Top
Whow now that's a man! Then they wonder why we have to say honor, cherish and obey at the alter.
Reply #20 Top
here's another.

3 absolutely gorgeous blonde women stranded on a secluded island. As always in the morning doing thier spring water bathing, a bottle floated onto the island. Without a doubt, the first one picked it up and curiously opened it. Suprised with their own eyes a geanie appeared. "I shall grant you one wish each", "for rescueing me from the bottle" told by the geanie. The first blonde wishes "i want to be a brunnet". her wish was granted and went on to build a boat and left the island. The 2cd blonde, "wishes to a redhead", she was now a redhead. She went on to build a sailboat and off the island she went. The 3rd blonde,
thinks to herself "Wow changing your hair color made them that much smarter", "okay geanie i wish to be a man" , and that blonde went on to build a bridge and crossed over to the city across the river.
Reply #21 Top
One more...

A grizzly bear walks into a bar and orders a beer. The barkeep replies "Forget it, we don't serve bears beer in this bar". The bear becomes angry, threatens the bartender "You see that gal at the end of the bar? If you don't serve me my beer, I'm gonna eat her right here!" The bartender stands his ground and says; "Sorry pal, I could lose my license, No beer for you." With that, the grizzly walks to the end of the bar and kills her, and eats her!

The bear goes back to his bar stool and growls; "You gonna serve me now?!" The bartentender, now angry at the mess, says "Dammit, I already told you we dont serve bears, and we certainly don't serve drug addicts!"

"Drug addicts!" screams the bear. "Where do you get that from?"

"Well", says the bartender, "that was a barbituate!"
Reply #22 Top
buncha guys tellin jokes in here?
/me debates whether to read or not hmmmm
why not...
Reply #23 Top
knock knock
who's there?
ah nevermind...

Russ I don't get yours? =/
/me goes to get her coffee
Reply #24 Top
Bar bitch you ate...

Doreen stop pretending to be slow...
Reply #25 Top
How do you keep an idiot in suspense?