WOo Hoo! Over 200!

When my parents got married, my father wasn't exactly earning a whole lot. He earned enough to support him and his wife. I wasn't in the plan just yet, but I came into existence 3 months after they were married. My father didn't have much funds to feed this big a family...and I was a sickly child.

My mother wasn't very healthy either, and my father travelled a lot, so I got left in my grandmother's care. When I was five, my mother got pregnant with my younger brother, and through that pregnancy period (my mother has horrible periods during pregancy), I was permanently settled with my grandmother....so I've hardly spent time with my parents while I was a six year old baby....

My my, it's quiet out there......and here in =P

Well I've been hanging out trying to get the 2800+ viruses off my wife's computer..

this thread *will* live

/me jumps up and down on thread to revive it
/me thinks the patterns of paw prints all over the thread are quite artistic

Feline, quit pouncing on your monitor! And, quit licking it too! That picture of a chocolate bar is your wallpaper- it's not real!

I need coffee........

/me realises JavaBrain hasnt noticed that i ran off with the selotape

i have been experimenting with always on top desktop objects, and find that this chocolate bar object works really really well

JavaBrain - I need coffee........

/me staires out across the coffee lakes and chocolate hot springs along the edges.

/me wonders if JavaBrain will stop long enough to grab a swimming costume on the way

/me has concluded that not all chocolate is created equal

i think i need advice on this one JavaBrain.

i am finding that i am unwilling to eat the posted chocolate, since while it sits there i am reminded of the kind and generous actions of a certain someone.

/me wonders if this means i need to get out more

but on the other hand, it is chocolate, and i cannot not eat it.

/me *confused*

EAT IT! I can always send you more
You can then just keep the *wrappers* to remember the chocolate by

mmmmmmmmmmm.....coffee lakes.....

/me yawns

Urgh, bad day.......I'm going to run off to class now. I'll post my rant on here sometime later

/me *irritated*
i was most of the way thought a lovely long post, and then my machine crashed. now i am going to have to reacreate this all

I'm going to go take a nap.

I feel like I've been cheated by time, and rather harshly too. I've dated Rob for about eight months now (June 11, 2001 - February 12, 2002) and for these eight months, I've not spent one moment of quality time with him.....

How would I define quality time? Well, I define it as having a good time with each other without the notion of school or some other dumb worries occupying 30% of our minds.

Time's cheated me again and again, and I feel like Time should somehow grant that back to me......... give me a few days off so I can spend it with Rob without having to worry that school comes and I have homework to finish.

So there's Spring Break.........

/me plans for a good vacation getaway to be with Rob....
/me gets her plans ruined by this so call thing called parents

Don't get me wrong. I love parents, but I wish parents will at times grow up and learn that a child who happens to be 19 years or older should start learning to have a life of his/her own. If my boyfriend has to go home for some weekends, I understand that.....and at times make him feel bad about it but was usually playing around. Besides, parents have their kids the first 18 years anyway..full time.

So I only ask for a time where I can fully spend it with Rob, doing things both of us haven't done for the past eight months...but the next thing I learn this past sunday? Parents want Rob home.....and chances of Rob staying in Houston? No clue.....may happen, but chances are a bit less than 50%

Okay, so I'm just a girlfriend, nobody big. I shouldn't demand so much of his time...... I shouldn't hog him like I own him.... this much I understand.........

But Rob won't even be here summer! 3 freaking months he gets to stay home.....and yet.... they've got to -take- him home for spring break.......

So where does this leave me?

I have a boyfriend..... I just haven't exactly spent time with him efficently for the past eight or so months...and maybe longer

By the end of summer, I'll have known Rob for 14 months..... we'll be 'together' for about 8 months.......(all of which is because school started).....and about 6 months apart......

I've promised myself that when I date, I will -not- be separated from him for long.....but look at it. I've dated him for almost the same length of time as we've been together.... I find that a very sad part of my life.

I've spent his first b-day since we started dating 20,000 miles away......

I'm going to spend his next b-day 200 miles away.......

Life's fucked up... to such a twisted extent I see can actually see straight..........

Yes, I'm bitching.........but hell, I've held this around for a few days now......and it's causing Rob and I have to have a fight every single day.

God help me.

I've promised myself that when I date, I will -not- be separated from him for long.....but look at it. I've dated him for almost the same length of time as we've been together.... I find that a very sad part of my life.
----------

Let me correct that.....

I've dated him for almost the same length of time as we've been -apart-.

Long distance relationships are very tough. Are you sure that's what you want?

In college I had a somewhat long distancce relationship and I later learned that my SI cheated on me when we weren't together.

It's not really long distance. He's only about two hours away from me, but we've been going out steady for a while now, and quite frankly, I love him enough to do anything...... but even that, I can't help but feel like I'm cheated by time.... I have a right to be sullen about it all....

I'm not worried about Rob cheating on me. There are some guys whom you can look and know if something's wrong. Rob hasn't learned not to hide things from me, and I don't think he'll ever learn either. I'm the master at that....because I've kept so much bottled up inside me over the past years, that hiding things I don't like doesn't take much effort. A trusty smile and a pair of radiant eyes always does the trick........

Cept recently, I've been prone to cry about everything...... I guess it was because I want to rant about it all, but haven't quite figured out where to start or what to say.........

/me has only learned to keep things inside and hidden, and never to express it......

Horrid past experiences with that.... I'm still touchy about it.... I haven't learned to let go...

*sigh*

Rob hasn't learned not to hide things from me
-----

I made another mistake by typing in double negatives....

"Rob hasn't learned to hide things from me"

Hmmm... I've been through the long distant relationship thing...a few times.

They only work (and you be happy with) if you actually see eachother on a regular basis. It can seem like you are madly in love with somebody, but it's easy to feel that way when you aren't really with them all the time. You can, in thought, love the person. But how do you know what it is like to really *be* with the person if you aren't with them?

A good example of this is a guy who used to work here. Great guy. Was dating a Japanese girl (lives in Japan) he lives here. He dated her (seeing her twice a year) then was engaaged. Spent the last 8 or so years with her. Well, to make a long story short, things got in the way, they drifted apart, and they just broke up.

Time is a hard thing to regain. I do have a word from the wise (or maybe just the experienced): If you think that you are in love with this guy- you better figure out a way to spend time with him. People change. Either you grow with eachother, or you grow apart. the less time that you spend together, the less likely it is that you will stay the same. It's hard to explain, but just trust me on this one.

Have you told him how important it is to spend time with him? What about going home with him, is that an option?

My husband used to be an engineer on a Great Lakes freighter. He would sail for 2 months then have a month off (this was before we were married). I went to pick him up once after not seeing him for a month (the longest we had been apart). Even though we had written eachother and talked on the phone twice a week, when I picked him up, it was like meeting him for the first time. His hair was different, he had a tan, he lost a little weight...things that wouldn't seem odd at all if I saw him during that whole time. But it seemed odd. We were both a little uncomfortable. It was a strange feeling. Even though he loved that job (that is what he went to school for) he quit sailing after that tour was over with, and never went back. Our relationship was more important.

I have had other long distant relationships, and, well, they obviously didn't work. They didn't work because we were not part of eachothers everyday life. You miss out on the little things that make a person who they are everyday.

So, make it work! If you love him, and want to stick with him, you need to figure it out. Sit him down and figure out how to make time for eachother. If he feels the same way towards you as you do towards him, you'll be able to work it out somehow.

I wish you luck. It isn't easy, but where there's a will, there's a way!

Elf if it is meant to be all the distance and time won't even matter...

distance has nothing to do w/ it anyways, you can feel closer to someone a million miles away then someone sitting right next to you! hehe

Don't worry so much about it, relax, the "time" you are complaining about will be the very thing that takes you where you are suppose to be w/ Rob whether meant to be or not...

I hope it works out for you!

FELINE! Quit skinny dippin' in the chocolate lake!

JavaBrain,

I do try to spend time with him, but it is hard. I don't want to go home with him because his parents can't really afford to have me there. Their house is a bit too crowded for the family alone, and everytime I do go home, I feel like I'm being a total responsibility....... makes me somehow... hate myself.

I've told him how important it is to me that we spend time together...and not just anytime, but quality time. I don't request it often, but once a month or two isn't too much to ask. A bit of time to play catch up with each other, and have fun.....

The funny thing about it is.... everytime I have a free weekend, his parents want him to go home or his sister plans on going home and so he has to go along..... I'm tired of planning my life around everyone else's..... For once I want to be a bit more selfish, not give everyone what he or she wants and take nothing back......

I know people drift apart, and I already feel that. Rob is busy and his mind is always occupied with work with his studies and his financial problems....

As much time as I'll like to spend with him, I too have my own worries about school and my own grades.

Just Sunday night, I showed exactly how important it was with tears. I don't cry often, and I hate crying, but I know tears move every devoted guy's heart... He and I are trying to sort all of this out, to plan a time.....

But his parents are in the way......
I understand that parents want to see their kids as often as possible, but making it like a guy can't even spend quality time with his girlfriend.... I don't know... that's too much. Granted, I'll probably do the same for my parents, but on the other end, they have to sacrifice something too..... A week now for me, means a week later for them.

Doreen,

I understand what you're saying, but I've grown up in an environment where I've never been touched very much, and that placed touch and physical closeness close to the top of my list. I've been held, been cuddled, been spoiled senseless by my boyfriend..... distance does matter, to me. It's a complicated story....... maybe I'll tell it, when I feel confident enough to reveal my childhood.

The time I'm complaining this with, I take out of my sleep time or study time. There's too much of those, and not enough of boyfriend time.........

Our schedules conflict, and it is hard to find time that'll suit both of us..... cept vacation, and even that... is almost impossible

JavaBrain - FELINE! Quit skinny dippin' in the chocolate lake!

there are several answers to this, and i think i am going to give all of them, since i am in that sort of mood

a) its my planet
given the size of the lake, why does this matter?
c) i am not. have you any idea how long it takes to get all the chocolate out of my fur?

stop thinking so much like a human
all that needs to be done is to create a surface tension over the entire body fur surface before going swiming. this means that the chocolate slides off when i climb out. of course, it is even less of a problem when dracoform, since scales dont have this issue.

on a different front, when have you ever seen a cat or a dragon anything other than "naked"? its just not the same when you have fur and scales to show off as it is for humans

i was begining to think that i was surrounded by aliens in here.

i am not actually sure if this says more about me or you lot though

Elfkura - I understand what you're saying, but I've grown up in an environment where I've never been touched very much, and that placed touch and physical closeness close to the top of my list. I've been held, been cuddled, been spoiled senseless by my boyfriend..... distance does matter, to me.


this is the first bit that really makes sence to me.

i cannot draw direct parallels, since i dont know enough about Elf to do so, and anyway, it wouldnt be apropriate even if i could.

however, this sounds a lot like me, except that i have gone the other way. having grown up feeling alone and surounded by alien strangers (people my own age), being physically close to people is something that i tend to dislike.

as a child i never got on with other children very well, but i always tended to get on with adults who would talk to me as a person, as oposed to treating me like a child.

so i have ended up "defining" the concept of a "relationship" purely in terms of a meeting of minds. and for such a meeting distance becomes irrelivent.

the parallel half of the process was that any form of "physical" interaction just never entered the equasion. just what you would expect under the circumstances.

when this is combined with my general nature, and complex views on the whole questions of gender and species, then simply sidestepping the whole physical question seems quite natural and easy

i dont know if the following thoughts are at all helpful or not Elf, but i offer them up anyway.

can you at least get the mental closeness via net and phone talks?
as for someone to cuddle, how about a large teddy bear? this isnt quite as silly as it sounds. or at least i find it helps.

i do hope that this works out somehow for you both.