Nevermind, found him...

Hmmmm....I don't get it?....um....a....OoooooKkkkkkkkk......now I got it....er, um..get it. Cat or a um kitten or feline something or another playing with something? ..... no, ohhhhhh, dear my a umm..is that a ....a ... nah. Family site. Not here. No sir. Not here. Giggle. Wait a minute. Now I see.....its a ....cat hammock.

feline did say you could always find him hiding in GM's t-shirt   

LOL

I was informed that someone wanted to kill off this thread, and by the looks of things, it has been killed...

and then resurrected again by Elfkura.


Graduation was 4+ months ago. I wish I can say that time has been grand since that day, but my graduation was, at that point in my life, the worst experience of my life followed by even worse experiences. There is a family feud going on between my parents and I regarding my wishes to be left alone to make my choices about my own life.

They played the nasty card. They forced me to return to China on the excuse, while valid, that I needed to make a visit to Malaysia with the family for a Permanent Residency update they were doing. Then they proceeded to strip me of my legal documents and pretty much held me hostage (still am being held hostage) in a place where I know no one, has no car, and no money to do anything.

I'm now scheduled to work for one of my father's friends at a job I didn't wish to take. While Frogboy offered me a job, it was one outside my skills. I was thinking about learning them, but not only do I not have anything here that I need (and I'm talking about clothes too. Everything I have is in the United States. I have maybe 5 t-shirts and 3 pairs of jeans in my closet. That's what I've been living off in the last 4 months.) they've been forcing me to go to work for them at their office for no pay.

I don't even get weekends off. No evening to myself because I have to clean the kitchen after the sloppy job of some 31-year old idiot who is so stupid the only thing she can do correctly, it seems, is to dress herself.

I can't talk to anyone because none of my friends are within calling distance anymore. I can't even really talk to them via any of the messenger services because I'm at least 12 hours ahead of everyone in the United States and that part of the world.

I'm sitting here, miserable, alone, and feeling my depressing worsening...

So, I figured I'll come back. At least then my world wouldn't just consist of my parents and my two cousins day in and day out. No, I'm not kidding. I spend 24 hours with them a day, 7 days a week, and thus far counting - 4 months in a row.



I guess now I can at least focus my attention on what's been going on since I've been out of the loop for so long. I'm not sure if the boards are covered during the hours I would usually be on, but here I am. Are the old players still around?


-Elffie.

One still is. I have a watch notice when the msgb changes. You my dear are in what is considered to be a...pickle. What legal recourse do you have? Many free legal sources should be available. Or a religious order that helps folks like you. Trouble is that family in Malyasia usual trump individuals and have a pecking order. Young people unfortunately are usually at the bottom. Hang in there, and don't do anything rash.

This is just terrible. I can't believe things like this can still happen. Elf, If there was anything I could do to get you out I would. Can anyone from the US Embassy help? As OC says, hang in there, a solution will present itself.

And I thought I had it bad. I returned from holiday on Saturday to find my dad in hospital again (he's 87) and to find the company I work for is insolvent - that means they have no money to pay me, so I have no job and no money. I guess compared to you Elf I'm still very comfy.

No-one wanted this thread to finish, but people just drifted away and then there was no reason to come back. Maybe now we can keep this as a meeting place. A place where people can come and find friendship and feel at home. I will be here as much as possible.

Helloween Fuzzy. Trouble is brewing all over. My dear folks took off on a long journy to Virgina State. Three days out my Mother left her purse with Visa, Master Charge, Checks, (Cheque in British),   and a brand new Sony LCD camera in a restroom stall. 50 miles down the way she found her purse was missing so they went back and it had disappeared. It is unusual but I've always thought that women had some sort of attachment to their purses! Like an umbilical cord or something.   I've been trying all weekend in to get their cards and checks canceled, but as I've found out its not wise to tangle with these Evil Corporations on the weekend. It's tough out there so beware! Yusef Islam (Cat Stevens) Yes I still listen to him and have his latest CD.

I wish I had a legal recourse in all this. As far as China is concerned, this is none of their business. As far as America is concerned, it's the same thing as I'm not a US Citizen. I can't even live or work there without permission. Unfortunately, where I am from (Taiwan) the culture dictates that what I did for myself was wrong and that my parents are right. No one will side with me on this case and the only hope I have to get out of here is in the United States. Unfortunately, he needs to secure a means of digging me out first before it can be done.

It looks like I'll be stuck here for at least a year (counting from October). I won't even be able to go back to the US to get my things that I need until the next Lunar New Year. This isn't the worst part. The worst part is I eat the same type of meal day in and day out when I've grown used to making my own meals and keeping to a schedule that will allow me to stay trim and healthy.

My asthma has returned with a vengeance. Everyone here smokes, and no, smoking in stores and other areas are allowed, so it doesn't matter where I go. If I'm not home, I'll come home stinking of cigarette smoke, exhaust fumes, and everything else you can name. I told my parents I can't stay here due to health reasons. My mother spat back at me that I'm just using my asthma as an excuse and I haven't had an attack since I was 12.

Fact is, I've had an attack almost every night since I've been back. Just because she doesn't see it, and I don't wake her up to go to the hospital (I don't trust them here anyways), it doesn't exist.

She says I'm a very stubborn person, unwilling to adapt to new environments. I'm not sure how, exactly, I'm supposed to adapt to not being able to breathe. I think for me to be alive, that is actually a requirement.

My mother wouldn't move to the US to live if she had a choice because she can't adapt to the food there or how things are done. Yet, I'm being harped on for not wanting to return to this environment because I've finally gotten used to one place and don't wish to change my environment again.

My parents have never given me a stable environment. It appears that it is their goal to keep it that way.

I'll get out. I know I will. They will just not like me for doing it. My mother'll probably deal with it by pretending she never had me as a daughter.

25 years of this crap and my entirely family thinks I'm spoiled. Sheesh. I'll trade my life for theirs any day, any place.

Oh, by the way, you guys will love this. I can't even sleep in my own bedroom because it's given up to that moron of a cousin I have. She's an idiot, a slob, can't even wash dishes right, and is afraid people will know all her bad traits and tell everyone else. She demands to have her own room instead of rooming with my cousin. I don't have a bed to sleep on (just a mattress on the floor) and nowhere to put my clothes. She's taken over all my closet space, and my mother made me clean those out for her to use.

Oye! that's an awful situation.  Sorry I missed you think weekend, Elfkura.  IM me when you get a chance.

I have you in my thoughts Elfie. I hope that somehow, someway, real soon you can be free of your situation.

What doesn't kill me will only make me stronger, right?

That's how I'm viewing this. Sure, everything is crap right now, and I hate my parents. I have nothing I can do for myself and all my time is eaten up by all their demands because it is their house. I can pass a day feeling depressed that I'm stuck here, or I can pass a day thinking my own thoughts and be happy. I'll pass it thinking of my friends (you guys) and my boyfriend and be happy.

When I started out on online communities, I was in this exact situation. I had to rely on people I don't know and will probably never meet to keep me rooted to the world. I had to rely on friendship that I have to form outside of the normal means to help me go through the troubles I find myself in. The sad part is that my parents never helped me through any of it. My mother's reply to my telling her that I'm being bullied in school was: "If you don't go bother others, they won't bully you." Nice huh? I bring this up now, and all she'll say to me is: "Don't you feel confident in knowing that you can resolve your own situation without help?" I was 13 then. Shouldn't it have been her duty to protect me? This is why when I'm hit now, I hit back. They dropped me in this well of isolation. I'll dig myself out again. My parents always hated that about me. They think I never learn. What they do to me is for my own good.

I don't hold a grudge, not now, not in the past, not ever. I don't see a point to it. I do however point to all the things that have happened to explain to others why I don't feel safe with my parents, that I don't trust them, and why I'm stubborn and snobbish to a point past no return. In a place where I have to fight for my own sanity because my home isn't a sanctuary and school is just as brutal when I was growing up, I had no other choice but to turn to people and communities like this to give me a small road of communication and activity - insanity (look at this thread!) that serves to retain sanity.

I fought through school for my parents because that's where they wanted me to be. All I got was emotional maltreatment and partial physical abuse that has nothing to do with physical pain but emotional. I'm done trying to do things for them. I have myself 2 degrees, one of which I never wanted, and now a job I never asked to take but was forced to.

I perform well, I can get out, do what it is I want to do. I get transferred to the US and do well for a couple of years, who knows, Frogboy might like a good marketing person specializing in international communications... or not .

Along the way I plan on learning some technical stuff that I've always wanted. It's unfair of my parents to rip me away from one of the best sources I've got concerning that area - my boyfriend. He lives and breathes anything dealing with network engineering and security. I might have had a future following my parents, but I would have a brighter one with my boyfriend. My parents couldn't wrap that idea around their brains. That's how snobbish and egotistical they've become through their quest of obtaining money, and with it, status.

Money was never a determining factor. Happiness is, and my parents equate one with the other where I don't. That's why I will never see eye-to-eye with them and they will never bring themselves down to my level and understand where it is I came from.

My parents are forcing me down a road that they've fought to achieve. The thing is I've never seen my parents been happy all my life. I don't know the true reason as to why. They say it's because they're fighting to give me a bright future. I think it's simply because they've got personal problems and instead of dealing with it, turn to work to ignore it. That way, they can use the excuse that it is to give me a better future. I never see my father because he's at work 24/7 when I was growing up and still is to this day. My mother and I don't talk much. The last thing I want to become is them. If there's a life lesson in here somewhere, then it's this: Money is important. It just isn't worth your entire life, especially not the lives of your spouse and your children. Maybe some day my parents will wake up and realize that.

My parents can buy me anything I might want that has a monetary value. Everything else that didn't have that, I will never see any part of it.

Priceless.

Just and FYI, I have skype. If you wish to look me up and chat (MSN doesn't work here at my parents' office, but skype does) my handle you can search by is elfkura. If Yi-Tzu pops up with some character your computer can't recognize, that's my Chinese name with the characters written in for family and friends who know me not as Mary or Elffie.

I'm going to need some help getting back into this place, that's for sure.

Elfkura,

It's nice to see you showing up again. I haven't been around much either.

With your stuff. What I've learned and I've been taught, don't let anybody put you down. That's even your own parents. The only one that can keep you down is yourself. I would tell you do what you feel is the best for you. Parents are good for so many years, however, depending they could be good sources of information for your whole life. That's if they allow you to grow on your own and just give you suggestions and let you learn yourself. I've even gotten to the point where if I notice if my parents are working too much and it's effecting home life, I tell them that they need to take a break and alot of times they do. No matter who you are, you need a break/vacation from work sometime. And life problems, it's a part of life. You can't ignore them, they just grow in the background. I myself found that out the hard way. I used to sleep my life away and hope that the problems just pass me by.

What are the two degrees you have and what did you want and which one didn't you want?

I would tell you my problems, but you already have alot on your plate. Alot of mine deals with relationship. Just to give you a hint. I'm married (basically for over a year), have 1 child, actually have a house, but don't live with her, don't see my son, and don't even live in the house I have. We both still live with our parents away from each other. That's just to start.

Conclusion:
Honestly, I think you should just come out and tell your parents how you feel and do what is best for you. You have to look out for yourself, because nobody else is going to. They will either try to help you or put you down. Your friends will try to help you guide you in the right direction, your enemies will try to put you down but use it to your benefit and make yourself stronger.

I hope you at least get this and read it. I'll check back on and off to see if you respond.

-Tom-

Oops, didn't read above last post. I'm doing that now.

Ok, read the other posts.

Your situation is bullshit basically. The only problem is that you're over in a different country. The stuff I said in the above post will probably not even help you. I guess it would of helped if I had all the info. I'm sorry.

I truly wish I could help you in some way. Directly, I can't think of any thing and indirectly I can't even think of anything. I do pray that you do find a way out of that place soon. Nobody should have to be pushed to live in that way. I would still like to know what degrees you do have. Just curious.

I will check on and off to see how things are going.

I'm sad for you

-Tom-

Greetings Weaksid,

First off, to answer your inquiry about my dual degrees, I have graduated from the University of Houston with a BBA in Management and a BA in English-Creative Writing. My business degree was something my parents "wanted" me to have, and the Creative Writing is what I've had as a hobby all my life that served, many times, as a life line to my depression (most of all through college). Needless to say, my English degree means a lot more to me on a personal level, and it inspires me to be more on a professional level. I was hoping to get involved in publishing, which my father humored me with but never really gave me a green light on.

I am engaged (just without the official ring because I can't find one I like) to a man I've known for the better part of a decade (7 years). He told me that after my graduation, I am welcome to move up to his place and take a couple of months off for myself. College had been brutal and my parents caused 70% of it. Since I'm not allowed to work in the US, not many employers would hire me. He asked if I would mind getting married. I said no, because I've been waiting for it for over a year. I went up to visit my fiance right after my graduation without my parents knowing. My parents never let me go anywhere, and if I had asked, I knew what the answer would be. All my friends who knew my fiance told me to go and have fun. I deserved it, regardless of what my parents think.

The short version of this story is that my parents found out about the trip. My mother threatened to sue my fiance for ruining my honor after I've informed her that I've been intimate as well. They said they'll post everything about him all over the internet so the world can know what a

When do you plan to get married?  Why don't you come back to the US on a fiancee Visa?

It sounds like your parents will never agree with what you are doing.  It also sounds like you are going to have to risk being disowned to be happy.  With the way it sounds, it is worth risking.

$300,000 to be able to marry you?  What the?

That's also what I'm thinking you should do. And $300,000, who has that type of money other than the really wealthy people? Hell, I only make $30,000 a year and I have a decent job. I'm at Computer Technician at a school. However I live in Altoona, PA and work in Hollidaysburg, PA. If you really want to know the value of the area, you can look up the demographics.

I can't tell you how much I despise money, especially my parents' money. I'm sorry I haven't written anything in a while, and with the way things are, I'll be forced to leave the community again and disappear.

I started a new job that I was forced to take by my parents. It's no close to here at all, and my work hours are 8:15am - 5:00pm with no paid OT. I don't make much from the job. When I say that, I really mean it. My job earns me about as much as a student would on a 5.50/hour wage working 80 hours a month.

I have to wake up at between 5am and 5:30am every morning to get ready for work. I leave by 6:20am because traffic sucks at 7am. I get to work at 7am and I won't start work until 8:15am. On Thursdays, I have to attend a mandatory meeting from 7am to 8am so I have to get to work before 7am.

If I leave work on time at 5pm, I get home sometime between 7 and 7:30pm. I usually take 30 minutes to eat really quick, do the dishes, and clean the kitchen, and take out the trash. That takes up about an hour. Then I take a shower, wash my clothese, rinse them, spin them dry, and then hang them up, which takes about another 40 minutes. Then I have to put the dishes into the baking oven and the leftovers in the fridge, 10 minutes, and then I go upstairs to put some lotion and acne prevention treatment on my face (10-20 minutes). Then I have some time to sit down and read my emails for the first time that day including whatever left over tasks I needed to finish and I spend an hour writing an email to my fiance. By the time I get to bed, it's usually 11pm. I have trouble getting to sleep, so I fall asleep closer to midnight.

I have no access to my personal mail at work, nor to sites like these, not to MSN, and everything else. The only thing left for my fiance and myself is that one hour every single night with nothing but cold words on a computer screen. I thought weekends were going to be available for myself, but that isn't the case.

My mother wanted me to go to work at her office so help her with documents. She asks nicely. She always does. She just doesn't give you the option of saying no because it will come back on her long list of rants about how bloody retarded and useless I am at a later time. Whatever precious little bit of time I have for myself to get things I need (because I'm really sick and tired of eating nothing but ham and cheese sandwiches for lunch) for work is now no more.

My mother's original price was USD 1 million because that's how much it cost her at the minimum to have raised me. She said she was already being generous by cutting that down to 300k - footing only the last 6.5 years.

It's been a while since anybody has responded to this thread. I hope things have or are better with you Elfura.

Chocolate World just seems to be dead. Must be hibernation time or everybody is just busy.

Nothing left of the chocolate planet but tumbleweed...   

Hi guys,

Exactly a month dating from the last post, I got involved in a world wide conference at work that took place here. I was one of the many people who helped out, and I enjoyed myself immensely. Unfortunately, the conference turned out to be my undoing.

I was actually asked to leave my job posting, so I've got time back again. It's all a rather weird story, really. The conference I spoke of above was from Nov. 14 - 16, and I was out and about on 17th with our international members from Europe and the United States. On Monday, Nov. 19, my boss disappeared from the office to talk to my parents. Apparently my performance before and during the conference (especially during) had vastly surpassed his expectations - which got a lot of people talking and noticing (on a very large scale). While that was good, it was also rather bad.

Someone, or group of someones, started spreading rumors about where I'm from and questioning my merit (whether I was there by merit or by connection and in general everything attached to me). While this was through connection, apparently my merit spoke well of me, so it is by no means something I should be punished for. Unfortunately, that's not how these people think, whoever they are. It would be one thing if these people were attacking me straight on. I could've dealt with that.

They went after my boss instead. That royally pissed me off, but there is nothing I can do about it.

My boss was more worried about me than worried about what's happening to him. He talked to my parents and suggested that I resign. His words were "You've got more potential than most people will think you have. What I have to offer isn't enough for you. You can do a lot better somewhere else. Let me look around and see where I can push you. There are bigger and more exciting opportunities than here."

So I resigned the very next day and left, but happy that I made a very good friend in the progress here and a few actually situated in Europe. While no one except the friend here knows what's going on, I feel I'll rather keep it that way until the events have passed and died down and if anyone was to bring it up again in question.

I have to say... what a ride. I'm just disappointed that it had to end this way.

Hey the chocolate planet is still here...

Am I the only one that can get to this thread?

seems not