I won the lottery!!!!!!

Daft sonsofbitches.

And you didn't even have to enter to win! You lucky bastard you!

They must have used the same guys that spellchecked those badges.

Congrabulations Jafo. Now dun't forget hour cut. Fifty pahcent each ass per hour agrees mant. lol

If I had a nickel for every time Jafo won the lottery....

It would surprise you how many people actually fall for these scams

No worries.

They will be 'd to death, shortly.

Wait a minute, I got that same email a while back with those exact same winning numbers!  What is going on here!

No wuckin' furries, mate ....we'll split the prize....you send them your info...and I'll pop over to your joint and grab me dosh...;)

No forgettin' BUX-4-DOC. hIS cUT gETTIN' sPLIT 4.5 mILLION wAYS.

How'm I doin? Oh...and starkers is under the porch. The usual place. LMAO

Well.... I didn't win the lottery... but I just got a letter from Mr Kofi Anna..... Secretary United Nations....  who wants to give me 8.5 mill... don't I feel honoured... 

UNITED NATIONS COMPENSATION UNIT,
IN AFFILIATION WITH WORLD BANK
From: Special Envoy to Secretary-General ROY SMITH



ATTENTION BENEFICIARY:

This is to bring to your notice that we are delegated from the UNITED NATIONS in Central Bank to pay 50 victims from your country who has being Victims of Internet scam .The United Nations has decided to pay you $8,500,000 USD (Eight Million Five Hundred Thousand Dollars) each. You are listed and approved for this payment as one of the scammed victims to be paid this amount, get back to this office as soon as possible for the immediate payment of your $8,500,000 USD compensation funds. We have been having a meeting for the past Seven months which ended Three days ago with the former secretary to the UNITED NATIONS in the person of Mr. Kofi Anna.


This email is to all the people that have been scammed or extorted money from because of your contract payment execution any part of the world, the UNITED NATIONS have agreed to compensate them with the sum of US$8.5.MILLON This includes every foreign contractors that may have not received their contract sum, and people that have had an unfinished  transaction or international businesses that failed due to Government problems or irregularities etc.

We found your email in our list and that is why we are contacting you, this has been agreed upon and has been signed by the United Nations Board of Directors and Trustees.


You have to contact Pastor Henry Green, our payment agent in West Africa, as he is our UNITED NATIONS representative in West Africa, contact him immediately for your cheque US$8.5.MILLON This funds are in a Bank Draft for security purpose.
He will send it to you and you can clear it in any bank of your choice.


Send a copy of your response to official email:
SECURITY & FINACIAL CONTACT AGENT: Pastor Henry Green
EMAIL:[email protected]
TEL: 23480-8867-3262

You are advised to send your communication particulars,


Full names
Age
Telephone
Fax numbers
Mailing Address
Occupation
Marrital Status
Your Company Name And Address


Contact Pastor Henry Green immediately for your Cashier Cheque.


Thanks and God bless you and your family. Hoping to hear from you as soon as you cash your Bank Draft. Making the world a better place for the sake of humanity.

Give him your File Reference (RE-1077-V) and you are free to contact him via telephone number which he will provide to you upon the receipt of your email.

Best Regards,

Yours Faithfully,
Mr. Kofi Anna
Secretary United Nations
West Africa
General Roy Smith.
(Financial Officer)United Nations...
http://www.unorg/sg.

lordy... and I've just inherited half a mill as well....      and apparently involved in a fatal accident... so why email me... 

Dear Beneficiary,

We are writing regarding your Inheritance funds of $500,000.00, which was used to open an online account for you at Bank of  Africa by the United Nations Compensation Unit.
Did you authorize Mr. Marley Cross from West Virginia to claim your funds of $500,000.00? because he informed us that you were involved in a fatal accident, so if you are still alive please kindly get back to us so that we will not be making any mistake as we are about sending him your user name and password to log on to your online Bank account with Bank of Africa that worths $500,000.00 ( Five hundred thousand united states dollars ), we need a final confirmation before
we decide to send him the important details to transfer your funds through Bank of Africa online transfer as he claims to be your beneficiary.
The reason why your funds were delayed last time was because you did not provide the requested documents, but now all the documents is obtained so kindly get back to us if you are still alive so that we wouldn't be mistaken and then we are going to send you your Online account information's with Bank of Africa such as the User name, Password, Account number, so you can log in successfully and transfer your funds within ten minutes to your account over there.

To confirm that you are still alive and you are ready to transfer your funds through our online banking transfer, get back to us with the details as required below for confirmation.

Reply with the details requested below to proceed.

Full Name:
Address:
Home Phone:
Cell Phone:
Age:
Occupation:

Regards
YOURS IN SERVICE
MR. MICHAEL WILLIAMS
DIRECTOR
BANK OF AFRICA

Damn sydney. Spread it around will you. Two at the same time and to think it took me 66 years to only win 3 times. I'm still waiting for the money but it's on the way I'm sure.

and a Loan Department's just put $1,500 in my account...... twice... 

silly.... you need to give them your bank account details....   

I usually try so "to mask" my ignorance....so it's alien to me to ask, but I thought the Secretary General is "Bank My Moon".

Don't bother with this one, I already spent the half a million bucks.

Signed: Mr. Marley Cross

            West Virginia,

             USA

P.S. Sorry to hear about your accident. Did it hurt much?           

I wasn't sure it was real so gave them the bank of fort knox. Guess that is why this world is going to shit. Next time i will use doc's info and see what happens.

I found a penny!

I found 5 cents... but some smart arse super-glued it to the pavement.

I'll bet it was hard to put into your pocket with that big chunk of asphalt stuck to it.

I hired a wheelbarrow, actually.... then a jackhammer to got it off... and then it all didn't seem worth it.

Figures... I opened my email and all I got was Shops of Po' in a tutu.