Banned for highlanders in kilts and nikes.

banned for calling on the goddess of victory

Banned for invoking the Goddess of Chance to help pay off your gambling debts.

Banned for dabbling in deities.

banned for trying to make yourself a deity

Banned for I went itty for a day.... that makes me a dayitty... or deity for short.

Banned for unlicensed ittying, in the dark even...with wet matches and soggy noodles...for company.

Banned for wriggling under the fence in the dark to get some of the noodles the soggy dog was eating.

banned for being so soggy

Banned for putting the sog in the bog and wading in to save the dog on a log from falling in

banned for not wanting to let me save the puppy       

Banned for dropping water balloons on a bed of nails and watching it bounce.

Banned for turning your bed of nails upside down in the backyard in an attempt to skewer some pesky gophers.

Speaking of water balloons, a person I knew back in the 60's found a 12 pack of condoms.  What he used to do is piddle in one, blow it up 'til quite large then let it loose above a group of people before bursting it with a blow gun, thus showering everyone below with pee.  Yup, a dirty, dirty bastard.

banned for talking about *insert politician here*

Banned for *insert politician here* just got his/her butt handed to 'em.

banned for thinking it even matters 

Banned for taking a long hop on the short bus.

Banned...

or a long walk off a short pier.

banned for having a short attention span

Banned for not giving your short attention span some very much needed attention.

banned for squirrels in your pants

Banned for leave my nuts alone, feed your squirrels elsewhere

banned for thinking that is what they were after

Banned for not knowing what comes after A when B is away on assignment making honey... and get yer squirrels to come back to clean up the nutshells they left laying around all over the place for poor people with no shoes to stand on.

Banned sole-ly for the hell of it.