No Sympathy for Skinny Chicks

from JoeUser Forums
I have no sympathy for the skinny chicks.

Anytime anyone talks about, or writes an article about, the need for body acceptance for curvy girls, inevitably a naturally thin chick will pipe up with, "I can't help it if I'm skinny. You guys are always cutting down skinny girls, but I'd be in trouble if I called a big girl a cow."

NEWS FLASH SKINNY GIRLS: You have not been persecuted. You are idolized. You see your image on TV, in magazines, in movies, on mannequins, in catalogs, on billboards. You get society's collective stamp of approval.

Guess who the super low rise jeans that require a thorough bikini wax were made for?

You.

Guess who the bikinis that are nothing but tiny triangles and strings are made for?

You.

Guess who the tiny logo T-shirts are made for?

You.

Guess who thongs and miniskirts and spaghetti strap tops are made for?

That's right, girlfriend . . . you.

I think you can take a tiny bit of flack from your curvy sisters considering the fact that entire world seems to revolve around your concave belly and protruding hip bones.

You're the sexy swimsuit screen saver. You're the lingerie model. You're the waitress who gets the good tips. You're the the Cingular phone commercial girl, the Coors commercial girl, the Old Navy commercial girl, and the Clarinex commercial girl.

You are accepted. You are adored. According to the entire Western world, you are the epitome of beauty and femininity.

So what if the curvy girls look at you with disdain when you consume an entire skillet of fajitas. So what if we whisper to our husbands or boyfriends, "Wow. She's too skinny, don't you think?" So what if the average sized girls get together on a blog or at a table and discuss what they like about themselves and try to help each other learn to love their not so cookie cutter bodies?

Why do you care? Get over yourself. You're not the one being made to feel unworthy and unattractive. If you have to endure a dirty look or a little whisper every now and then, so what. The consolation prize is that you are the center of the universe and you can walk into any store in the country and pick out any outfit in it and walk out looking damn hot.

Stop whining.



*This blog inspired by recent skinny girl bitching on dharma's "What's with the skinny, anorexic looking chicks?" thread.*
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20,290 views 49 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
Outstanding article, Tex. I have been on both sides of the scale, and take it from me...the lower end of the dial makes life so much nicer!

Might I add, that the skinny chicks usually, and yes I said usually, are the ones who have not experienced motherhood with all the joys of stretch marks and scars.

Have an insightful on me, Tex.
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
heather:
Outstanding article, Tex.


I'm a bit of a ranter today for some reason.

I have been on both sides of the scale, and take it from me...the lower end of the dial makes life so much nicer!


I agree. I was quite thin before I had my children, and clothes were made to fit my body perfectly. It was one less thing to worry about in my life, and it made such a difference.

Might I add, that the skinny chicks usually, and yes I said usually, are the ones who have not experienced motherhood with all the joys of stretch marks and scars.


True. Motherhood changes our bodies, and even small women experience changes in the breadth of their hips and the flatness of their tummies and the perkiness of their breasts and so on. (And then there's stretch marks . . . )

And of course, I have no beef with small women. I think we should all try (and I'm working on it myself) to appreciate the unique qualities of our own bodies, be they small, medium, or large. I just don't think it's really equitable for thin women to compare their "persecution" with that of average and larger sized women. There's no comparison.

Have an insightful on me, Tex.


Thanks so much!
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Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
Amen! ...okay..so the "amen" is a bit too dramatic...lol....

I don't hate skinny girls...that's not my point in replying...but I do have to say that I don't really remember skinny girls being made fun of when I was a child...heavyset girls..yes...I should know because I was one of them. I was chubby until about 15 when I gradually started losing "baby" fat.

I actually don't mind having a curvy figure....somewhere in the 10/11/12 size...depending on what cut of clothes i buy. .I know there are some men and women out there who think this is Fat....but my guy loves me the way I am (he's a "rear" guy anyway, as opposed to a chest or leg guy lol) .
..and although I'd love to lose about 15 pounds...I dont' think I'd be depresssed if I didn't. Heck...even those low rise jeans...although showing a wee bit of a con"vex" belly...look alright on me

I will never be a size 2,4, or 6...and that's okay with me.
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
been on both sides of the scale too... but I lost my weight because of pregnancy... and I have 3 kids, (but no stretch marks!) I miss my boobs and my bum, but at 40 i am a size 4, and I cannot find clothes to fit me... and yes, I can do the 3 course meal thing, without any problem (beer on the other hand isa different story... but i have no desire to become a lush, just to gain a few pounds!)
At the end of the day society as a rule is obsessed by image, and we need to move away from that .... the world's icon Marylin was a size 14 for heavens sake... whats in a number... if you are confortable with who you are on the inside the rest will follow. (and my ex binned me for a size 12...and he works for Weightwatchers!!!)
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
In Bloom:
I don't hate skinny girls...that's not my point in replying...but I do have to say that I don't really remember skinny girls being made fun of when I was a child...heavyset girls..yes...I should know because I was one of them. I was chubby until about 15 when I gradually started losing "baby" fat.


Exactly. I have nothing against thin women. We are come in different shapes and sizes, and I think that beauty is not dependent upon being a specific size, weight, or shape. However, the harsh words and pressure fall squarely on the average and larger women, and that pressure is in our faces day in and day out.

I actually don't mind having a curvy figure....somewhere in the 10/11/12 size...depending on what cut of clothes i buy.


Heh. Sounds beautiful to me.

.I know there are some men and women out there who think this is Fat....but my guy loves me the way I am (he's a "rear" guy anyway, as opposed to a chest or leg guy lol) .


Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I think society wants men to believe that there is only one lust-worthy body type, but fortunately most men are willing to indulge in diversity when it comes to the female figure.

..and although I'd love to lose about 15 pounds...I dont' think I'd be depresssed if I didn't. Heck...even those low rise jeans...although showing a wee bit of a con"vex" belly...look alright on me


I personally think that if you're healthy you should just go where your body takes you. Most people have a certain weight range that their body naturally gravitates toward, and I think it's a good idea to embrace that. (BTW -- I think the girls with the those little rounded bellies above their jeans look adorable!)

I will never be a size 2,4, or 6...and that's okay with me.


Good for you!

Tisane:
(but no stretch marks!)


Lucky girl!

I miss my boobs and my bum, but at 40 i am a size 4, and I cannot find clothes to fit me... and yes, I can do the 3 course meal thing, without any problem (beer on the other hand isa different story... but i have no desire to become a lush, just to gain a few pounds!)


I don't mean to beat you up for being a size four . . . I think you should revel in the fact that you can wear things that most of us can't. Enjoy being slim! You work it in a little bikini and I'll play up my DDs! I think we should all try to appreciate the figures we were blessed (or cursed?) with and enjoy our bodies.

At the end of the day society as a rule is obsessed by image, and we need to move away from that .... the world's icon Marylin was a size 14 for heavens sake... whats in a number... if you are confortable with who you are on the inside the rest will follow.


Excellent point. Very well said.

(and my ex binned me for a size 12...and he works for Weightwatchers!!!)


That's sad. I worked as a Weight Watchers meeting leader for a few years, and I had to not only model good eating behavior and maintaining a healthy weight, but I had to be able to encourage the women (and men) to be kind to themselves and accept their bodies . . . doesn't sound like your ex was in the right job.

Thanks for the great comments, ladies!
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
He is still there and he'sa b****y general manager!(for Germany....)ho-hum.... actually he used to talk in BMI's all the time....so yu-huh... efinitely a square peg in a round hole!!!
Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top
Tisane:
He is still there and he'sa b****y general manager!(for Germany....)ho-hum.... actually he used to talk in BMI's all the time....so yu-huh... efinitely a square peg in a round hole!!!


Wow. That sucks. He does not sound like a fun guy to hang around with (or work with!).
Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top
You work it in a little bikini and I'll play up my DDs! I think we should all try to appreciate the figures we were blessed (or cursed?) with and enjoy our bodies.


Little Bikini's and playing up a set of DD's. Now that sounds like an Idea.

But Seriously, ladies being a healthy weight for your hieght is the important thing and what most of us guys want you to be not too skinny and not too thick somewhere in the middle. My wife has been anywhere from a size 0 to a size 10 (she's only 5'2") and I really prefer that she be in the 4-6 range. She's beautiful anywhere on the scale but I worry for her health when she's at the ends especially at the 0 end. Though the doctor tells me to worry more at the 10 end? She has some health concerns that are scary at both ends I guess. That's what scares us guys, most of us don't spend alot of time at the doctors office and would like for our girls to be healthy also.
Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top
Though the doctor tells me to worry more at the 10 end?


There's nothing unhealthy about a size 10 . . . that's not large or overweight by any stretch of the imagination.
Reply #10 from JoeUser Forums Top
There's nothing unhealthy about a size 10 . . . that's not large or overweight by any stretch of the imagination.


You're right in a way, my cousins wife is always complaining that she wears a size 10/12 and she looks great to me. Difference is she's about 5'10" and has fairly wide shoulders and hips.

My wife has a small frame and is only 5'2", a size 10 for her is pretty big, in fact by medical standards it's obese. Her target weight is supposed to be 115 though she looks her best at 120-125. That's also the weight at which her medical problems ease up, when she weight much more than that she has to take higher doses of her meds.
Reply #11 from JoeUser Forums Top
I love this!
I think that our society has really weird standards as to what women "should" look like. But I think that a lot of the time we as women buy into it. We believe it too. Even the so-called skinny girls feel the pressure to be even thinner. It boggles my mind sometimes.

Thank you for writing such an insightful post.
Reply #12 from JoeUser Forums Top
I was standing in the grocery check out line with my wife the other day casually glancing at the magazine racks there. One magazine had a model on the cover wearing a string bikini bottom and an oversized sweater. My wife asked if I thought she was attractive. I had to answer honestly, that "actually I wasn't thinking about her in terms of attractiveness, I was wondering how she held up the bikini bottom with double-stick tape?" Her hips were so slim I couldn't figure out how it was staying up. As i glanced over the rest of the racks I noticed almost all of them were the same. Mostly in various stages of undress, and all skinny enough to pick up and chuck like a spear!
Madison Avenue and Wall Street, along with Hollywood have really tried to sell this image over the last 20 years or so. I keep wondering why we keep buying this tripe. I keep hearing stories of women whom have dieted to the point where it messes up their menstrual cycles, or worse yet prevent them from ever bearing children. Most of the guys I know don't find that look attractive at all. JC the high maintainance image they present is enough to scare them off alone. I wonder what would happen if we stopped buying the clothes and the magazines and the beauty treatments and diet supplements that perpetuate the illusion that we want women to look like that?
Reply #13 from JoeUser Forums Top
Little Bikini's and playing up a set of DD's.


Hooray!

Most of the guys I know don't find that look attractive at all.


Most guys find skinny chicks, fat chicks, DD or a training bra, and anything in between up to and including mannequins that'll fit in a skirt, at least interesting enough to consider it. Trust me, you don't have to work that hard, if you're breathing the guys are probably interested, and if you're not, you still can probably find a date.

That said, as a member of the evil male possibly-semi-chauvanist society that women at least theoretically model themselves for (although I wonder how much they don't do it to themselves through insecurity and societal peer pressure), I prefer my women somewhat thin, but not Calista "scary skeleton person" Flockhart thin. I like a decent amount of meat on their bones, and by meat, I mean meat, not other jiggly substances, and at least enough fat to bear children and have breasts, not pointy pecs.

I know men don't have to jump through the same hoops as far, but I run a lot to stay thin, and work out so I don't become one of those starved greyhound looking runners.
Reply #14 from WinCustomize Forums Top
I know men don't have to jump through the same hoops as far


SPC I know that we are crashing a support group here but your statement hits it on the head. where is the pressure for men to at least look decent?
Reply #15 from JoeUser Forums Top

where is the pressure for men to at least look decent?


See, that's the thing that gets me...the guys who are being judgemental and not very nice about bigger girls aren't exactly prize winners thamselves.  I'd guess about 70% of them (that I've seen doing it) either have beer guts, are overweight, balding with a comb-over, bad breath, BO, fart and scratch their nuts in public...or if you're really unlucky, all of the above.  I'm listening to their conversations, thinking 'who the fuck are you to talk, dude?  Taken a look in the mirror lately?  Cos you aint no beauty queen yourself...'


There isn't as much pressure for dudes to look decent.  The concensus is that you are who/what you are, and short of working out there's not much you can do about it.  Unless you want to go metrosexual and get made fun of, that is.  There are magazines like GQ and Mens Health, sure...but compare the amount of crap women get bombarded with daily to the amount men are subjected to.....there's just no comparison.

Reply #16 from JoeUser Forums Top
Slender girls do have it much easier than heavier girls, but heavier girls who make jokes about the weight of slender girls are no better than the people who make jokes about heavier girls. It's like racism. Sure, black people have had it worse than white people, but that doesn't justify racism against white people.
Reply #17 from JoeUser Forums Top
Messybuu:

WOW,

There is much wisdom in your statements.....
Reply #18 from JoeUser Forums Top
TasT:
My wife has a small frame and is only 5'2", a size 10 for her is pretty big, in fact by medical standards it's obese. Her target weight is supposed to be 115 though she looks her best at 120-125. That's also the weight at which her medical problems ease up, when she weight much more than that she has to take higher doses of her meds.


OK, I can go with that. A size ten is a lot bigger on a shorty.

Brenda:
I think that our society has really weird standards as to what women "should" look like. But I think that a lot of the time we as women buy into it. We believe it too. Even the so-called skinny girls feel the pressure to be even thinner. It boggles my mind sometimes.


You are so right. We are part of the problem -- we torture ourselves.

Thank you for writing such an insightful post.


Thanks for the praise.

Nadeon:
I keep wondering why we keep buying this tripe. I keep hearing stories of women whom have dieted to the point where it messes up their menstrual cycles, or worse yet prevent them from ever bearing children.


That's a good question -- we buy the stuff, and thus tell the companies that we are OK with those images.

Most of the guys I know don't find that look attractive at all. JC the high maintainance image they present is enough to scare them off alone. I wonder what would happen if we stopped buying the clothes and the magazines and the beauty treatments and diet supplements that perpetuate the illusion that we want women to look like that?


I think in general guys are interested in T&A, which is much more easily found on a bit curvier girl, but I also think that the media is trying to convince men (and women) that the new ideal is what should be considered attractive. Brain washing of sorts. There's no denying, though, that everyone has their own personal tastes . . . we women ought to only concern ourselves with being the best us -- not the best Gisele -- that we can be . . .big girls, small girls, and everything in between!

SPC:
Hooray!


The funny thing is, and you can ask any woman about this, they don't make bikinis for DDs. You have to be fairly flat chested to be able to successfully wear a bikini.

Most guys find skinny chicks, fat chicks, DD or a training bra, and anything in between up to and including mannequins that'll fit in a skirt, at least interesting enough to consider it. Trust me, you don't have to work that hard, if you're breathing the guys are probably interested, and if you're not, you still can probably find a date.


Now there's some honesty! He he he . . .

I prefer my women somewhat thin, but not Calista "scary skeleton person" Flockhart thin. I like a decent amount of meat on their bones, and by meat, I mean meat, not other jiggly substances, and at least enough fat to bear children and have breasts, not pointy pecs.


I don't think those are unrealistic expectations.

I know men don't have to jump through the same hoops as far, but I run a lot to stay thin, and work out so I don't become one of those starved greyhound looking runners.


It's good that you're working on being healthy, but I'll bet LadyCleve is just as happy with you being chunky as she is with you being muscular and fit.

dharma:
See, that's the thing that gets me...the guys who are being judgemental and not very nice about bigger girls aren't exactly prize winners thamselves. I'd guess about 70% of them (that I've seen doing it) either have beer guts, are overweight, balding with a comb-over, bad breath, BO, fart and scratch their nuts in public...or if you're really unlucky, all of the above. I'm listening to their conversations, thinking 'who the fuck are you to talk, dude? Taken a look in the mirror lately? Cos you aint no beauty queen yourself...'


You get an insightful for that one! Don't be telling us we don't look good in our tank tops when your butt crack has its own zip code, dude!

There are magazines like GQ and Mens Health, sure...but compare the amount of crap women get bombarded with daily to the amount men are subjected to.....there's just no comparison.


You are completely right -- and I attribute that largely to the fact that we women are far less hung up on appearances and are willing to look past a bad body to see the loveable man inside.

messy:
Slender girls do have it much easier than heavier girls, but heavier girls who make jokes about the weight of slender girls are no better than the people who make jokes about heavier girls. It's like racism. Sure, black people have had it worse than white people, but that doesn't justify racism against white people.


Do you really hear of that happening very often? It's generally the other way around.

TasT:
There is much wisdom in your statements.....


I don't know what planet you guys live on, but it's not the skinny girls being made fun of and slammed all the time.
Reply #19 from JoeUser Forums Top
Do you really hear of that happening very often? It's generally the other way around.


People do sometimes call slender girls anorexic and other names though. Overweight people are definitely ridiculed more often, but that does not justify the attacks on the slenderer. Neither group deserves it.
Reply #20 from JoeUser Forums Top
messy:
People do sometimes call slender girls anorexic and other names though. Overweight people are definitely ridiculed more often, but that does not justify the attacks on the slenderer. Neither group deserves it.


OK, I can go with that.
Reply #21 from JoeUser Forums Top
You are completely right -- and I attribute that largely to the fact that we women are far less hung up on appearances and are willing to look past a bad body to see the loveable man inside.


Tex, there is the real comment with wisdom in it!
Reply #22 from JoeUser Forums Top
Tex...I have this to say:

Amen to the shapely bottoms, bosoms, and the occasional fat roll.
Reply #23 from JoeUser Forums Top
As an unattractive, but intelligent guy, I can honestly say this: skinny chicks are the most hurtful beings on this planet. In onther words, I loved your article Tex!
Reply #24 from JoeUser Forums Top

As an unattractive, but intelligent guy, I can honestly say this: skinny chicks are the most hurtful beings on this planet. In onther words, I loved your article Tex!


How are they hurtful?

Reply #25 from JoeUser Forums Top
well, you know, laughing at the thought of dating you, insulting you, other such things. Its not a general assessment, just most experiences ive had