Sins Huge Latency Issue

Back in September, I played Sins regularly over Ironclad with two friends, one who was lanned and one who was out of state. We never had any serious problems.  Recently, we started playing again, and now, when using Entrenchment or not, we experienced extreme latency issues, getting 2000 to 4000 pings in games where our friends host, using alloy and not using alloy, over Ironclad Online or directly connecting.

The latency is apparent when navigating the menus in ironclad online, and also during the pre-game screen when directly connecting, and the latency persists as the game starts.  However, when I play over LAN with my one friend, it works fine.  Pings seem normal when trying to connect to my out of state friend, about 50 ms, and my tracerts to Stardock's server also seems okay.  We are behind a router, and our router settings haven't changed at all.

Any idea what the problem is, or how to fix it?