Doggy Blog

from JoeUser Forums

The following was written by Henry, my 8 week old dachsund:

uhc x frc hnccbdbcm nhjbbdf cxjjjxshjuyhtgiuuuu u dxm,ndxnm,

For those of you who don't know, dachsunds like to poke things with their noses (every dachsund I've ever owned has, anyway).  Henry sat on my lap and kept poking the keyboard this morning, so I decided to let him have his way and write some for you.

Here's what I think the translation would sound like:

She put me out in the cold wet grass this morning and I didn't like it so I came inside and pooped on her rug and she told me "no no no' and now I'm sitting on her lap and I'm thinking about taking a nap 'cos playing is hard work and i'm beat.  later.

Oh, to be a dog.  Eat, play, poop, play, sleep.  Sounds like fun to me!

"
3,569 views 27 replies
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
That's sweet. I imagin being a dog would be a nice vacation . seelp and play all day long. Although I might get tired of eating the same thing everyday:)
What is your puppys name?
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Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top

I'd like to be a dog for a day too! Mine gets quite a variety of things to eat - he had some grapes yesterday and a chunk of apple last night.

And his name is Henry.

Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
Reminds me of a King Crimson song entitled "Sex, Sleep, Eat, Drink, Dream." Sounds like a dog's life, all right....
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top

Sex, Sleep, Eat, Drink, Dream." Sounds like a dog's life, all right....

Actually, that sounds like my day yesterday!

Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
uhc x frc hnccbdbcm nhjbbdf cxjjjxshjuyhtgiuuuu u dxm,ndxnm,


Can you tell him "message received" for me? And also, add in "ajk; gaiuopoi dastyy gastghio rqwe mt!", please. Thanks!
Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top

Can you tell him "message received" for me?

Will do, Chip...and I'll pass on yours when he wakes up.

Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top

In human terms, that means: IGNORE ALIEN ORDERS!


Ahhh...it's all becoming clear now!  And there I was thinking that he pooped on the floor because he didn't like the cold wet grass touching his butt.


How are your dogs now, LW?  Did they do okay with the drive?

Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top

Mine gets quite a variety of things to eat - he had some grapes yesterday and a chunk of apple last night.

dachshunds are little garbage disposals.  They live for food and will eat just about anything they can.  Mine will eat cabbage.  I didn't think they would.  One day they were begging while I was cutting up a head, and so I gave them some so that they would realize that they didn't like it.  I was wrong.....they'll even eat bananas.  Strange little dogs.

Duke sticks his nose in everything.  If there is a box on the floor, he'll go around the outside of it trying to stick his nose under it.  Then he will tip it over and have to stick his nose in the corners.  I think it has something to do with their instinct of chasing badgers out of holes.....or, maybe they're just weird.

You need to post more pictures

Reply #10 from JoeUser Forums Top
Oh, to be a dog. Eat, play, poop, play, sleep. Sounds like fun to me!


Ahhh.... I can't WAIT until I can retire...
Reply #11 from JoeUser Forums Top
Special thanks for SPC Nobody Special for finding the original link. I tracked this down on the same sight and it's pretty funny. Check it out here - The Poopy Puppy Trio.

Check out SPC NBS's original article here - Sugar Hill, the meow mix.
Reply #12 from JoeUser Forums Top

I think it has something to do with their instinct of chasing badgers out of holes.....or, maybe they're just weird.


I think that it has to do with the badger-hunting.  My folks had dachsunds when I was little, and they did the same thing.  Henry's also some some interest in digging in the yard, another dachsund trait.


More pics will follow this weekend, I promise!

Reply #13 from JoeUser Forums Top
I'd prefer it if your dog didn't type in that tone of paw....

Could you tell him I said "Dont make me come over there with a can of whoop-ass"?

...never been so insulted, harrumph!

*storms off*
Reply #14 from JoeUser Forums Top
I think your dog could use a treatment like I gave Torque, My canadian puppy friend.
Reply #15 from JoeUser Forums Top

yeah, this first year is hard....but if done right, you get a decade or more of good and faithful companionship out of it. It's well worth a few poop stains or chewed shoes.

That's what I try to remember when he's being difficult (which isn't very often).  He's actually not too bad...he hasn't chewed any shoes (yet) and he's pooped on the rug twice....but it's mini daschund poo, it's not like it's a huge log or anything!  He's started looking at me with absolute adoration in his eyes, and it just melts my heart....he knows that Dave's the alpha-dog around here and loves it when he gives him a tummy-rub or sleeps with him.  He's just adorable - from the way he runs (little stumpy legs working, ears flapping) to the way he eats (his ears fall into the food)..he's just great.

Eric, Henry said to tell you that there must have been a mix-up in the translation (dog-english-aussie) because he certainly didn't mean to offend you.

Geez...what exactly did you do to Torque?

Reply #16 from JoeUser Forums Top
My big feller is eleven years old and sleeps night and day. When he was younger we used to walk two miles a day; now, I have to coax him out of the house. I'm thinking of getting a shepherd's pole because he grazes thousands of grass blades before he finds the right spot to do heavy duty, and has to smell a hundred flowers before he pees.
Reply #17 from JoeUser Forums Top

I'm thinking of getting a shepherd's pole because he grazes thousands of grass blades before he finds the right spot to do heavy duty, and has to smell a hundred flowers before he pees.

Ha!  I know exactly what you're talking about!  I feel the same way....I'm standing there waiting for Henry to discover a spot that he finds pleasing, wondering just how hard it can be - it's not as if he's planting a tree or admiring the view there, he's taking a poop!

What kind of dog do you have, Steven?

Reply #18 from JoeUser Forums Top
Here is torques story. Link
Reply #19 from JoeUser Forums Top
Here is torques story. Link


Reading this thread and going back and rereading Torque's story, I was reminded of something I read a while back. It was a comparison of a dog's diary and a cat's diary. I googled it up and found a link with the diaries.

A DOG'S DIARY VS A CAT'S DIARY

It's a pretty good laugh!
Reply #20 from JoeUser Forums Top
Oh yes that is a great one.
Reply #21 from JoeUser Forums Top
What kind of dog do you have, Steven?
A mix of collie, Irish setter, and golden retriever. He's overweight, 106 lbs,which slows him down also. The strict diet isn't working too well.
Reply #22 from JoeUser Forums Top

Dharma!  tell your dog that I said:


lksjnfowuerhftusnvuns  asofineosiufn'  f;oienfoiefah


Don't worry... he'll get it. 

Reply #23 from JoeUser Forums Top

Dharma! tell your dog that I said:


lksjnfowuerhftusnvuns asofineosiufn' f;oienfoiefah

He says:

sfdajhsdaiouiuo,mn qwer9ip

Hope that makes sense...

Steven, that's quite a mix you have there!  That dog weighs almost as much as me!!!

LW: Yeah, I can see that coming.  He tried to make off with one of my slippers yesterday...it was really quite funny to see this little dog trotting away with a shoe that was bigger than he was in his mouth!

This is what Henry looks like now (he grew):





 

 

 

Reply #24 from JoeUser Forums Top

Awww..he's so cute.  Look at those chunky front feet!  besides his coloring, he looks a lot like my Dukey dog did as a puppy.  I have a black and tan, but he has long hair.  The short hairs are a lot easier to maintain.  The long hairs don't shed much, but their hair matts easily.

he's pooped on the rug twice....but it's mini daschund poo

Yeah, that is one nice thing about them.  Even when they grow up it's not hard to clean the yard.

 

 

Reply #25 from JoeUser Forums Top

Look at those chunky front feet!


I know!  He has big front paws compared to the rest of him....he must have some growing to do!  He's gained and grown a lot already....he weighs almost 5 lbs now and I've had to adjust his collar because it got too tight.


You were right about daschsund's being garbage disposals...Henry has only refused to eat raw onion so far.  He even likes ketchup!


The boys had to take care of the leaves yesterday and had to do poop patrol before they could rake...took them all of 5 mins to clean up a week's worth of Henry poo.  They were pretty happy about that!


I've developed quite an attachment to that little dog.  The way he looks at me sometimes - like I'm just the best thing ever - and the way he gets all excited and comes running to me when I call him, ears flapping and little stumpy legs pumping - it's enough to melt even the coldest heart!