Life in Jerry Falwell's World

from JoeUser Forums
Jeff woke up in the morning with a horrible hangover. His first conscious thought was to rid himself of any visible evidence of the hangover, as the new prohibition laws were rather strict, and he didn't relish the thought of spending his 35th birthday in the stocks. He grabbed his bible and opened it, reading the requisite passage in Ezekial, logging carefully his notes in case the government questioned his commitment to the government's new Compulsory Religion laws. As he stumbled into the bathroom, he stubbed his toe. "Goddammit!", he yelled, before he could catch himself, and hoped that his outburst had not been overheard through the paper thin walls of his apartment. He was already on the government's watch list, as he had just been released from house arrest a month earlier for an attempted illicit homosexual love affair with what turned out to be a government informant. He certainly didn't need more of that.

He walked down the stairs of his apartment to the newly manicured lawn. The local evangelist was already about and handing out tracts. He recognized Jeff and waved. "Great," Jeff thought, "now he's going to ask me what I thought about Romans 1". But instead, the man's attention was turned quickly to the young girl on her way to school, whose dress, apparently slightly outgrown, was now dangerously close to the minimum length.

As he approached his workplace, Jeff could hear the other workers gathering for the morning flag salute. They surrounded the stocks where an older couple was on display for their noncompliance in last Friday's flag salute, as well as other offenses too petty to earn them the weekend in the slammer. Jeff stood at attention, hand over his heart, and desperately tried to call to memory the verse he was to read before the morning prayer. As the final words to the pledge were uttered, Jeff felt a tap on his shoulder, and was suddenly conscious of the Mariners cap he had neglected to remove before the salute.

"Damn", Jeff, uttered, hoping it was under his breath. It wasn't, and another notation was made on the pad of paper the gentleman carried with him.

"Not again", Jeff thought, waiting to receive the citation....

signing off,

Gideon MacLeish
misc
6,300 views 13 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
Frighteningly insightful.

Was this prompted by some new development in regards to Falwell that I am not aware of? Or is it just a spur-of-the-moment sort of thing?
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
It was actually a response to all of the "please let the government enslave me further" blogs that have been proliferating the site as of late. I think you have some idea which ones I'm talking about.

Thanks for your reply.
Elemental: Reforged
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
*shudder*

Just the title alone elicits that response from me....
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
Yes, I got shudders just writing it...lol
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
Very impressive writing, Gid...scary, but impressive. 
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
Thanks, poet. It's frightening, but it seems to be a world that more and more "Christians" claim to desire. Here's to hoping they don't get their way.
Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top
Damn Gid,
You play to the part of my Psyche that cringes at things conservative (read religious right)
even though I am fairly conservative by nature. Also the title started it since I despise all televangelists
for the bloodsucking whores that they are.
Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top
ssg,

yes, I am conservative in many areas as well. The idea of a totalitarian government, though, frightens me (as I am sure it does you and all others who are working in a field in which dealing with such totalitarianism is a daily reality).
Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top
Gideon: Awesome post. A bit like 1984. Very insightful.
Reply #10 from JoeUser Forums Top
yes...er yes..but you forgot the part where they brought the woman caught in adultery to Him, seeking to trip Him up. They wanted to know what to do with her. Moses had a law for stonning such as her. "What about it, Jesus master?"
Well, Jesus didn't answer right away. He stooped down and began writing in the dirt. How odd! He said "Let him who is without sin cast the first stone." They looked over at what he wrote and when they saw clearly they dropped there stones and left , beginning with the oldest. Jerry Falwell was just a kid then, but he recalls it well. Jesus was writing down the sins of the men that had brought the woman. I can't prove it, but I believe it was something like that. So...don't worry...be happy.
Reply #11 from JoeUser Forums Top
Gideon: Awesome post. A bit like 1984. Very insightful.


Thanks, texas. I set out to make a point, and I think I did. I might have to expand this, though, because it could make an interesting longer story.

yes...er yes..but you forgot the part where they brought the woman caught in adultery to Him, seeking to trip Him up. They wanted to know what to do with her. Moses had a law for stonning such as her. "What about it, Jesus master?"
Well, Jesus didn't answer right away. He stooped down and began writing in the dirt. How odd! He said "Let him who is without sin cast the first stone." They looked over at what he wrote and when they saw clearly they dropped there stones and left , beginning with the oldest. Jerry Falwell was just a kid then, but he recalls it well. Jesus was writing down the sins of the men that had brought the woman. I can't prove it, but I believe it was something like that. So...don't worry...be happy.


You're preaching to the choir on this one, fore, but I thank you very much for contributing. I do appreciate your sense of humor ("Jerry Falwell was just a kid then...")...lol.
Reply #12 from JoeUser Forums Top

after reading through this and the several posts about the islamic world, it strikes me how for more than 20 years america itself has been treading on the edge of fundamentalist theocracy. that may sound alarmist or worse but it's difficult to argue with the fact that one cannot hope to win the republican presidential nomination without the approval of none other than jerry falwell and his fellow imams.  (its with no little irony i recall 44 years ago, jfk had to publicly promise the nation his allegiance to the usa took precedence to the precepts of his church).  cardinals and bishops in several large dioceses whove publicly warned their flocks that voting for kerry is morally wrong. 

im going to post a comment very similar to this in those blogs as well.

Reply #13 from JoeUser Forums Top
after reading through this and the several posts about the islamic world, it strikes me how for more than 20 years america itself has been treading on the edge of fundamentalist theocracy. that may sound alarmist or worse but it's difficult to argue with the fact that one cannot hope to win the republican presidential nomination without the approval of none other than jerry falwell and his fellow imams. (its with no little irony i recall 44 years ago, jfk had to publicly promise the nation his allegiance to the usa took precedence to the precepts of his church). cardinals and bishops in several large dioceses whove publicly warned their flocks that voting for kerry is morally wrong.


Yes, I agree, king.

In fact, I am seriously contemplating expanding this concept into a novel based on the idea of a televangelist buying a ghost town and converting it into a "Christian" utopia.