Real Female Role Models

brilliant article, mugzy. i was inspired!

So you're telling me that it's a bad idea to suck someone's cock after I've only just met them? But Cosmo told me that all the boys would like me if I did. Now I'm confused. Maybe it's the fake tan fumes messing with my head...

That was a fab article Mugz. I feel sorry for that girl, in thinking that's what she had to do to gain acceptance. Not that your friend helped the situation at all, and probably did his bit in making her feel ten times more worthless. Though it's not up to him to make her feel special in the first place. Just who do women have as role models? Young girls growing up now have the likes of Britney Spears? Wow, she's an inspiring little lady isn't she. Hopefully some of them girls are as stubborn and pig headed as me, and will realize there are other paths to follow, other than the blow job after a 30min meeting route!

Yes, most of us men ARE jerks.

1) Your friend is a prime example. He allows a girl that 'he does not find attractive at all' to pick him up, pay for him to see a film, give him a blowjob in the cinema, and take him a meal, and only after all this - on the bus - he decides to run because 'he really isn't interested in getting to know this girl'? Unbelievable.

2) Muggaz, you are a prime example too. It's hard to imagine a 'real female role model' more superficial than the picture you paint. On one hand you say that 'sex is given too much importance by a conceited society', but look at the language you use: 'beautiful female athletes', stunning woman' (sic), 'inspirational and beautiful people' versus a 'slightly overweight girl' and 'teenage slappers'. You want women to respect themselves, but with it's attitudes like yours that cause women to develop poor self-respect in the first place.

3) 'These are the woman that should be donning the magazine covers'? Even assuming you mean 'women' (plural) and 'adorning' (and not that they should be WEARING the magazine covers), in many instances (eg. so-called lifestyle, sports and health magazines) they already ARE! And on what grounds? Because of what they LOOK LIKE, not what they think or feel or say or do. (When was the last time you saw a female shot putter on the cover of one of these magazines?)

Muggaz, you have raised a serious problem here, and I congratulate you for it. However, you and your like are part of the problem.

Muggaz,

This article is very inspiring.

I agree with flooz....have you ever opened up an issue of cosmo?? It's the same thing every month: "How to trap a man" "How to have better sex" and of course the ever popular, "How to give better head"....It's sickening. Actually, this February I gave up the magazine for good. I used to read it for the fashion articles and tips, but there are less and less of those...so now I just don't read magazines.


It is really sad to admit but I think that most women in society today have either:
1)suffered from an eating dissorder
2)are currently suffering from an eating dissorder
3)want to lose weight (aka want to suffer from an eating dissorder)

All of this creates negative body image. It's really sad, I mean, at one point in my life I could admit to all three of those topics on my list. I used to have a severe complex about my weight because I thought just because I am short I needed to way under 100 lbs. That is bullshit.

Now I can proudly admit that I am 5'2 and weigh 125....and the sad thing is that's considered to be a plus sized woman because I'm a size 8.

WTF??!?!?

However, you and your like are part of the problem.

I can admit that I like a pretty girl... although I dont make any apologies for it. I respect myself, and I find woman who respect themselves and their appearance attractive as well... I can't hide that fact... I admire your stance, and you will always have the moral highground over me - I am but a testosterone driven young man... The Athletes certainly are super sexy, but you must have missed the part where I pointed out the attractive qualities of their drive and determination... the will to succeed... unfortunately, In a cock driven society, woman seem to have to work harder to earn male respect - I am trying to get the message across that sucking a cock will not win respect in my book, and nor will a pretty face! I like a pretty face, but she has to have something to back it up... she has to have passion, determination and self respect. If you think the athletes of the Olympic games got where they are by being superficial, I would suggest you dont know many professional athletes... i suppose this is a matter of perspective.

The first three comments were from females of this community that know what kind of person I am, and they aren't pretending to like my article... they are all females who know me, and they know I am not a jerk... all beautiful young ladies filled with passion and endeavour.

I try not to be the problem, and I cant really solve the problem - I merely recognise a problem exists.

Thanks for your comments all.

BAM!!!

All of this creates negative body image. It's really sad, I mean, at one point in my life I could admit to all three of those topics on my list. I used to have a severe complex about my weight because I thought just because I am short I needed to way under 100 lbs. That is bullshit.

You know, it's all too true... Some of the most genuinely nice people I know have had problems with eating disorders, because they are pressured by society to be stick thin... It's disgusting... It's often a downward spiral, because self confidence continues to depreciate.... unfortunately image is everything these days... What woman need to know from guys like me is that I respect them for just being themselves and maintaining personal integrity...

You must place your own integrity above social integrity at all costs... I hate the fact that men can be largely responsible for insecurity issues with the female gender...

BAM!!!

Great article, Muggaz.

So you're telling me that it's a bad idea to suck someone's cock after I've only just met them? But Cosmo told me that all the boys would like me if I did. Now I'm confused. Maybe it's the fake tan fumes messing with my head...

great article, muggy. go girl power !. and suz, you nailed it, babe !

miggy XXX

On one hand you say that 'sex is given too much importance by a conceited society', but look at the language you use: 'beautiful female athletes', stunning woman' (sic), 'inspirational and beautiful people' versus a 'slightly overweight girl' and 'teenage slappers'. You want women to respect themselves, but with it's attitudes like yours that cause women to develop poor self-respect in the first place.

Furry I think you have an excellent point, but the world you live in is obviously very different to the one I do. Sure it would be wonderful if we weren't judged on certain things, but the sad thing is we are. This article wasn't about how women are judged by society. We know that the majority of time we are judged by the way we like, and people like attractive people. What is attractive to them anyway. Whether that be a nice ass, a nice smile, a nice laugh, a nice personality, whatever is, you have to find something beautiful about someone. This article was about how women go about changing them viewpoints, and actually getting respect. Mugz was pointing out giving random blokes bj's isn't the way to do it. The girl in this scenario, though she has my sympathy, needs to shoulder some of the blame herself. She did it, and for what reason? Mugz was pointing out that it was wrong.

Muggaz, you have raised a serious problem here, and I congratulate you for it. However, you and your like are part of the problem.

Naughty Mugz for wanting to be attracted to something! The way women percieve themselves is the problem, and speaking as a young woman, I can say I wouldn't lower myself to a man who would just view me on a physical level. People go for what they want, and I wouldn't want a man like that.

I hate the fact that men can be largely responsible for insecurity issues with the female gender...

Grrr, me too! Stupid boys! hehe.....

and the sad thing is that's considered to be a plus sized woman because I'm a size 8.

I am so with you on this! i am obsessed with my weight. Im a size 10 in England, but I sometimes go up to a 12 (blame the boobs) and this is seen as completely unacceptable! Please, I'm not fat at all, but I should be a size 8? My sisters and Mum are all size eights, and I'm known as the fat one! It's a good job I can see the humour in this, otherwise I'd be an eating disorder waiting to happen.

Sorry for the ramble Mugz, finished now

great article

however don't you think this shows that guys are the problem of it. I mean your friend could have told her, i"m not interested in you and told her she didnt have to degrade herself, but he chose not to......I wonder what that tells the girl

cause of guys like your friend, young girls think they need to act or be a certain way for them to be liked.....if your friend could have taken that not so selfish, small step and told her she didn't have to act like that or didn't have to do anything to win the affection of a man, than maybe she would have obtained enough self esteam to not do that again....see you GUYS are the problem...not women, or loreal comercials

Mandy where have you been? I've missed our girly chats chick!

however don't you think this shows that guys are the problem of it.

Men are part of the problem, but so are we. We shouldn't look at a man to make us feel good about ourselves. We should be able to do that already.

cause of guys like your friend, young girls think they need to act or be a certain way for them to be liked.....

Because of society, and the attention girls on tv get for getting their ass out, women think that is positive behaviour. I'm happy to blame men for alot of things, and the friend here was wrong in what he did, no question. Women need to take more responsibility though, we should be strong enough not to need the acceptance of men like him in the first place.

cause of guys like your friend, young girls think they need to act or be a certain way for them to be liked

Tell me about it... I gave him the dressing down of a lifetime... come on girls!!! you know me... I went absolutely nuts at the boy... I was absoluted disgusted and I told him as much...

And there is no way you can pass the shoulder of blame squarly to the guys here ladies... as long as chicks use their tit's and ass to get what they want, because they know it works, I am afraid that the girls must shoulder a fair amount of responsibility!!!

The point is what guys like my friend think of these girls is not important... these girls need to act with self respect.. not act in such a manner that is slutty so they think they will win a guys respect - i mean seriously, who wants the respect of a guy who will cop a head job in the movies? come on... If girls are willing to settle for sub standard males, well, by all means, continue to act in such a fashion, all I am saying is that if they do continue to act in such a fashion, sub-standard is all they will get!

BAM!!!

The best thing a girl can do is not give a guy what he wants.....cos lets face it a guy only wants what he can't have.....and if a girl is going to give it up in the first 1/2 hour that they meet hes not going stick around much longer cos he's already got it....and hes not going to take you seriously cos he would just think you act this way with every guy u met (and lets face it im sure its very likely they do)

But if girls would only learn that if they hold off by giving them anything until she knows him properly, the guy will stick around a hell of alot longer, and the only thing left for you two, to do is to talk and get to know each other, and if hes not what u want you haven't wasted your time or givin yourself away to him in anyway.
and it will work out a hell of of lot easier and better for the both of you.

The girl won't feel hurt and disgusted in herself, and the guy yeah he may be thinking oh man i wasted my time on this chick and got nothing out of it but who cares, its better him feel that way about you and mayb respect you alittle, instead of him boosting to his friends about how he got some action from some "slapper" he didn't even know (just like your friend did).....and i know i would rather him respect me a tiny bit and be alittle disappointed then him calling me a slapper......cos at least i would know i did the right thing and didn't end up feeling dirty or used!!!!!!

but then again its easier said than done for some people....i only wish i could take my own advice sometimes....

Now this is a pretty good bridge!

The best thing a girl can do is not give a guy what he wants

That's probably your first mistake right there Haz... You automatically assume most guys just want a blow-job... well, If I may eat my own words, most guys do just want a blow job... but not all of us...

If a girl doesn't give me what I want, and if she is playing games with me, she can pretty much rack off straight away... Mixed messages aren't cool at all, and I just dont know what has happened to honesty these days... everyone will be a lot better of for it.

i only wish i could take my own advice sometimes....

Hehehe... that made me chuckle!!! you will be a very wise old lady some day Haz... a while away yet, but I can see it!!! hehe...

Now this is a pretty good bridge!

Communication is the Key WF!!!

BAM!!!

hehehehe i seem to be able to give great advice as u should know markus but i just can't seem to gie it to myself also as u know lol

im not assuming all guys want a blow job or nething else for that matter im just saying that a chick shouldn't give it away the first time she meets a guy.....because then what do they have to look forward to.....
if she was to give it away the first time she meets a guy he will just assume she does it with every guy she meets and he won't respect her for that......so if she holds off and hes a half decent guy he will wait and respect her for that.....

its all about tests markus have u not learnt this yet?????????????

If a girl holds off she is testing him to see if he is worth it, to see if he really is interested in her or in just what she can offer to him sexually.....Markus its all about games and tests as much as it sucks cos it does...thast all it is these days

Ok, so as far as denying the guy what he wants, you are only talking sexually? That's ok then, and I am perfectly understanding as far as that is concerned... I wouldn't want a chick to suck me of on our first encounter... I wouldn't complain, but it would kind of having me questioning her values and her as a person, I mean, I know I am sexy n all... but hey, get to know me first huh babe?

We know it's all games Hazza... yet YOU and I still continue to play them... hehe... I have to remember the saying - dont hate the player - hate the game... and I certainly do.

BAM!!!

Very good article Mugz!

Of course, there are the games that get played between the genders when sex is something that isn't immediately on the table. Some of those get down right nasty...

Some of those get down right nasty..

Hehe... yes we wont talk of those here, because there are alot of impressionable people who read blogs, and the less they know about the games, the better for all people concerned...

BAM!!!

Yes... we don't want to give anyone pointers in that particular field....

I think this was a very good article, Muggaz. However, I think the conversation took a turn for the worse just a bit back there. Telling women that holding out on sexual behavior will garner them more "respect" is also part of the problem. Telling young men the same thing also contributes. I'm not saying it's not true but I am saying it's a ridiculous double standard that is indicative of the problem. Men who have a lot of sex, random or otherwise, are considered studs, and women who do the same are called sluts. It's ridiculous. I'm not trying to cite girl-power in the case of this young woman. What she did she obviously to gain the attentions of a young man who wouldn't be interested in her otherwise, a self-hating act in itself, but I am saying that if a girl honestly wants to give (or receive) head or other things of a sexual nature it's her business and she shouldn't be judged for doing so. There is definately something to be said for not acting on every emotional impulse you have, but there is also a level of game playing and societal stigma in "holding out" sexually so you'll get "respect."

There is definately something to be said for not acting on every emotional impulse you have, but there is also a level of game playing and societal stigma in "holding out" sexually so you'll get "respect."

I am double quadrooply impressed this point was raised by a female...

As far as sexual activity goes, I fail to see how the male gender can get away with dubious promiscuous activites, whilst at the same time, as you pointed out, a female conducting the same activities would be considered a slut...

Can anyone possibly isolate why this may be the case? I can only speak for myself, but I certainly question any of my male friends when they tell me about little one night stands - the sad thing is, I appear to be one of the few guys who values relationship integrity over getting my jollies off... when I question how the chick may be feeling now, I just get funny looks...

Do you think this social stigma relating to females being 'sluts' if they are overtly sexually active stems from other female opinions? or do you think it is the men? Unfortunately, a lot of the guys I know like their woman to be fast... so, who exactly is referring to them as sluts in a derogatory fashion?

It all stems down to insecurities me thinks...

BAM!!!