Young Men, Prostitutes, and Nice Girls

I love women also, but I couldn't have a relationship with a woman if only sex was involved and there was nothing else. If I did, I would feel cheap and dirty. I understand why others may have sex without a relationship, but its just not for me. I remember back in the late 70's when I was in the Navy and a hooker wanted to make it with me. Beleive it or not we were having a three day party at a hotel with all the rooms and hookers paid for courtesy of the ships recreation fund.

With three days of partying some of the crew really got wreked. Anyway, I came over just to say hello for a while. I mean there's no way I could drink for three days. While I was there a hooker came over to me and told me that she had just been with 13 guys and she was going for a record. She asked me if I would like to be number 14. I admired her honesty, but I politely said no thank you, I'm not into numbers as far as sex is concerned.

So to me having sex without a relationship would be like being #14 on the hookers # goal. No, not for me.

Hmmmm.... Thanks for popping in Tim Mack...

I see what you are saying, but it wouldn't be a relationship, it would just be for sexual gratification... we all know how fantastic sex is...

let me hypothosise for you - If i was out on a bender, and I was very drunk, and I had not had sexual relations for over a year, and I get propositioned by a girl I know has feelings for me, but they aren't reciprocated... I am a young hormone charged lad, and without having sex for over a year, it would be very difficult for me to say no, especially in an inebriated state...

Now - the question is, do you have sex with prostitutes throughout this year, so you dont feel the need to release your man juices, and risk hurting this poor girls feelings the next morning...



BAM!!!

Wow, Excellent question Mugz. I'm attracted to these articles like flies are to shit ( not that you're articles are shit, far from it! You know what I mean right?) Anywho, I'm intending not to waffle here, but I can already feel I am. You're point is a very good one. That instead of playing with the emotions of these girls, who won't be able to help themselves, but fall madly in love with you, save them feelings, for just sexual gratification, with someone you pay, and who means nothing? I guess it is all about what sex means to you, and to the person you decide to spend the rest of your life with. If I met a man who had sexual relations with a prostitute. I wouldn't be to impressed. That is the honest truth. I'm an idealist. When it comes to this subject I am anyway. Apart from thinking about just what he could of caught of her. Sex to me is not just about the physical side, It's about loving someone. Giving yourself to them, on a level no one else can have you. That is what it is to me, and to find out the man I was planning on spending the rest of my life with, was capable of paying for it....hmmm, it would somehow cheapen the whole thing for me. Having said that the whole relationship would not be judged on that one thing, I am not going to turn away a guy for that reason. That would be silly, but I'd be lying if I said it wouldn't be an issue. We all need sexual stimulation, that's a given, but does that mean we have to have meaningless sex? It should be about the love. ...I'm an idealist I know! Sorry for the waffle Mugz

Ah, but If you are having meaningless sex with prostitutes, don’t you think it would make the event, when you do have sex with someone you like, a little bit more special?

Personally, I think this question absolutely brilliant, someone else asked me this question, and I wont name her unless she wants me too… but it really got me thinking… she was talking about someone else of course, but she knows me very well… she knows I have a heart of gold, and that I hate hurting people, but she also knows I am a 22 year old male, with raging hormones….

I know you are an idealist babe, isn’t everyone? And in an ideal world, I would have found my soul mate, and we would be having awesome sex every single night… but it’s not an ideal world though, and we have to adapt ourselves to situations… all I am saying is that having a lot of protected sex with prostitutes and fulfilling your own desires is quite possibly a solution to hurting young girls feelings…

I guess I am just a bit new age, and not old fashioned when it comes to sex… pinnacle level sex is all about love, but as far as I am concerned, sex is still something that can be entertained without love… as long as no one gets hurt…

BAM!!!

but If you are having meaningless sex with prostitutes, don’t you think it would make the event, when you do have sex with someone you like, a little bit more special?

I guess it depends what disease you pass on to them

all I am saying is that having a lot of protected sex with prostitutes and fulfilling your own desires is quite possibly a solution to hurting young girls feelings…

You're correct, of course. I'm not disagreeing. I just think there are better ways of doing it. Though I see your point of view on this, and that you do have needs. Are your needs unable to wait for the love of a good lady? What if sleeping with these prostitues loses you that option, is it worth the risk?

I guess I am just a bit new age, and not old fashioned when it comes to sex…

I guess I am just old fashioned, but each to their own. You're correct, as long as no one gets hurt there isn't a problem. Let me just stay in my idealistic world for alittle longer, huh?

Holy crap you opened the doors wide on this one Muggaz! My answer here could be a Sir Peter if I was feeling completely jaded, but I don't think I want to go there now. I have watched comrades chase anything, (and I mean anything!) for that elusive high known as sex. It didn't have to be good or great, just sex. This is exclusive of my comrades gender. I think that sex is always better with someone you have at least some feeling for, but with trust it should and usually does take it up a notch. Therein lies the rub, to find someone you trust enough with your personal pecadillos without worries that all of his/her pals will know every funny noise/face you make in the throes of passion. Perhaps that is the attraction of the one night stand; be a complete animal and who cares about the consequences.
question for the day: Everyone wants a lover who is good in bed but how did they get good without practice? Or were you just so desperate that you thought it was good?

Everyone wants a lover who is good in bed but how did they get good without practice? Or were you just so desperate that you thought it was good?

Marvellous Question!!! hehehe...

I know - this is the thing... I do get propositioned a fair bit, but I just can't bring myself to hurt these girls for sexual gratification, because i am not attracted to them, yet it's still something I need... so, what I want to know, is why would a chick look down on a guy, who has only used a consenting prostitute for sex, when he only has her feelings in consideration...

Hehehe... although, it's not inconceivable for the poor pro's to fall in love with me as well

BAM!!!

What if sleeping with these prostitues loses you that option, is it worth the risk?

If a girl who loves me, would lose that love for me if i told her I had relations with a prostitute, well, that kind of says a lot about her character, and it would be her loss...

It would be akin to me being disenchanted with her if she had had a one night stand, or ever dated a jerk for an extended period of time...

BAM!!!

i love the fact u assume, that cos a chick wants to sleep with you it means shes head over heels for you and that YOUR going to break HER heart in the morning....

Girls have needs to and we also want to be able to just sleep with someone with out any complications every once and awhile....its really not the hard to find someone instead of giving in and turning to a hooker.....i know if i found out my guy had been seeing one i wouldn't know how to take it.....i would sorta see it as desperate....

As long as u make it clear to the girl during the night that it is only for that night then the balls in her court and if she gets hurt its her own fault cos she knew where she stood from the start!!!!!!

or just do what we all do, hook up with a friend where you both no what the deal is and then everyone wins!!!!

If a girl who loves me, would lose that love for me if i told her I had relations with a prostitute, well, that kind of says a lot about her character, and it would be her loss...

To lose her love for you, would be harsh, and to judge you on that one thing would be harsh. There are however certain stigmas attached to men who use prostitutes. That is just fact. Everyone makes these asumptions, and for a girl to question your reasons behind using a prostitute would be only natural. Her morals on sex could be different to yours, does that make her a worse person than you? What if she's saving herself for marriage? Would you judge her on lack of experience, as she judges you on how much you have? It's all about persoanl preference, and the key word...respect. If the girl loves youi, she will appreciate your reasoning, and love you for what youare. Just make sure they are the right reasons.

me being disenchanted with her if she had had a one night stand, or ever dated a jerk for an extended period of time...

They are natural relationships though. A one night stand....about just sex, and paying a prostitue....about sex. You have a pint, I will give you that, just doesn't mean I have to like it.

or just do what we all do, hook up with a friend where you both no what the deal is and then everyone wins!!!!

- Haz... I don't feel comfortable with fuckbuddies... I dont know why, it's just a concept that I cant entertain... I would much rather pay for sex with someone I dont have any expectations of as a friend, and they dont have any expectations of me, than remotely jeopardise any realtionships with my friends.

Of course you would see it as desperate... the concept of a guy going to a prostitute to fulfil his needs whilst sparing the feelings of some poor girl is almost entirely foreign in today's society... I see girls who approach me in a bar, drunk of their face, telling me they think I am awesome when they dont even know me as desperate... thats not attractive at all...

You say it's expected that the girl will fall for me, whatever... maybe I am protecting myself for falling for someone? thats not likely... but just like I dont want to use a girl for sex, I dont particularly want to feel used for sex either... I would feel cheap and dirty as well... thats what prostitutes are paid for, to be cheap and dirty, so why not use it?

hehe... 11 comments later, and my stance is still up in the air on this one...

BAM!!!

Okay. I didn't understand the question at first. I have to say, I'm not really sure if I can answer that question. Its very hard. My answer may sound a bit weird but I think I would be totaly honest with the girl. I'm not sure if anyone else should do something like this unless they're wearing a safety helmet on their head, but I would say something like this. I have no feelings for you babe, but if you're as horny as I am and you just want to have sex with no strings attached than lets get it on.

Now of course, I would only do something like this if 1) I at least thought the girl had a nice personality 2( I was at least somewhat attrracted to her 3) She was not a married woman. If she's married I just don't go there. I remember once there was a girl I really liked and she looked great and was wearing no ring, so I was sure that she was single. But when we got to her bedroom and I asked her who that was in the picture on her night table and she said it was her husband, I said, I just remembered I got to go somewhere.

prostitutes = bad

nice girls = good

nice girls who behave like whores behind closed doors = excellent

jerking off for sexual gratification  = good

innocent boys = is there such a thing?   hehehe

prostitutes = bad nice girls = good nice girls who behave like whores behind closed doors = excellent jerking off for sexual gratification = good

Oh, how your insight has been missed around here MJ!!!! I am ever so happy you stopped by!!!

I was thinking about you not two hours ago, I was going to write you an email... i was indecisive - now I kow I will!!!

BAM!!!

I'm with SallyJ and MJ on this one.

From what i've read about your views on relationships over time, I think we're on pretty much the same page of the whole sex and relationships book. I can't tell you what to do but I will tell you what I've done. I've decided that I'll just 'fly solo' until i'm well and truly into a relationship with someone I love. I think this would be good for a couple of reasons...
One is that I think having the ability to control my urges is good and will help me in the long term when i'm actually in a relationship (infidelity and 'honey, i'm not in the mood' training). Secondly I believe that while every time you have sex, you may get a little better at it, but you also give a little bit of yourself away. Kind of like a 'damaged goods' scenario.
I think saving yourself as much as you can would count for a LOT more than being considerate and just paying for it when you wanted it.

I think you would be better off with a bed buddy then jepordize the fact in the future that most girls dont want to be with a guy that has been with a prostitute.

Personally I think a guy that pays for sex (even if it is to spare feelings) is a huge turn off.

Mugz, a good blog mate. I’ve got a few things to share on this one.

About 4 or 5 years ago, I went through a phase when I was happiest being single. I liked my own space, and a relationship was the last thing I wanted. This phase lasted for about three years. However, I’m a red-blooded male. Pressing needs and desires inevitably build up for a twenty-something lad, especially when there’s no form of ‘release’, so to speak.

You've made a good point about the dilemma between one-night stands and paying for a prostitute. I personally learned from experience that one night stands are too costly, for the other person’s feelings. Maybe it depends on the girl, and also on yourself. But I think that deep down, most girls are looking for romance and something ‘more’ than sex, even if they say they aren’t. There must be girls around who look for sex only, but I happened to encounter the other kind, (about three girls in all).

Even though I was open and honest with them from the start, and made it clear that “I’m not looking for a relationship”, they got clingy. Afterwards, they would want to know why I didn’t phone them, or why I wasn't interested in seeing them again. They took the ‘one-night only’ issue personally.

At first, I thought they were out of line. After all, I’d been open with them from the outset, and had told them that I didn’t want a relationship of any kind. However, it soon dawned on me that it was my behaviour that was ‘out of line’. I should have been aware that they were searching for more.

Now, for years I’d heard my friends talk or joke about a ‘massage parlour’ in town, which was apparently for “adults only”. I had always looked down upon such places, and thought of them as “immoral”. But now my feelings were shifting. I felt intrigued, and wanted to see what it was like to visit one. So I went. And it was great.

I never had full sex with any of the girls, believe it or not, even though it was readily available. Rather, I went for the ‘massage and extras’ option, which lasted between half an hour to an hour, (depending on how much you paid - £50 per half hour). And it always ended up with a nice ‘release’. This might sound seedy, but it wasn’t. The place was pleasant, and the girls were polite, and most of them attractive. The service was just what I was looking for.

So to cut a long story, the point is, visiting prostitutes at that phase of my life, (which went on for a period of two years, once every month or two), was most certainly the “right” thing. Was it immoral? Not at all. It might have been immoral through the eyes of other people, but not through mine. Nobody was getting hurt, and both people knew the score, with no hidden agendas. One-night stands, however, from my experience, were far more “immoral”. So what about the other option - being patient, and waiting for the right time when I ready for a relationship? Well, I simply wasn’t ready for that. I was too young, and needed more experiences under my belt. In short, I had some growing up to do.

Eventually, my whore-visits came to an end, mainly because I met a lass and had a one-year relationship, which ended mutually simply because it ran its course. I’m single again now, but choose not to visit prostitutes, because for me now, resisting whores adds to my own personal development and exercises self-control. Now I'm going to be patient. So it’s gone full circle. If I were to visit a massage parlour again, I would feel that I’ve let myself down. For this reason alone, visiting whores would be “immoral”. But only a few years ago, it was just what the doctor ordered!

As to the issue of meeting a woman who might object to my past experiences, to the extent that she might think less of me, then it would indicate that she wasn't the right girl for me anyway.

Sorry to waffle on Mugz, but you’ve got a good blog here. My personal opinion is that the answer depends on the individual, and depends on 'where we are' in our own life.

Oh Andy! You are so making me want to waffle here! Boys prepare to hate me........but I'm going to be totally honest here. You have needs. I understand that. I seriously do. You make it sound like these girls are silly for getting their emotions involved. Did I miss something? Isn't that the point? Okay, you made it clear to them that you were just after sex, but their feelings still got involved? That is not a bad thing! It shows they are human, it shows sharing something that intimate with someone is actually something special! It's something special! When did sex become so cheap! I have no problem with people getting their sexual needs taken care of, and if it's a mutual decision then good luck to both of you, It's not my personal preference, and I'm sure to alot of ladies it's not. It would appear men find it alot easier to turn emotion off when it comes to sex, and just have it as the animal sex it is. Good for them. Women in general don't do that, be aware boys. Which brings me on to....

As to the issue of meeting a woman who might object to my past experiences, to the extent that she might think less of me, then it would indicate that she wasn't the right girl for me anyway.

I'm starting backwards, but what's new there right! If I found out about your past experiences, and that you used these ladies on a regular basis. It would make me question your values about sex. I don't think that makes me a bad person, but for me to be with someone that can just have sexual relations (or whatever you got upto!) with random ladies, and not be in an emotional relationship. Yes that would make me question things about you. I don't think I'd think less of you, that would be just judging you, and I'm not with that, but I would like to be with someone who saw sex as a special part of a relationship. Idealistic Sally strikes again! Please don't hate me boys.....and speaking of...where are all the ladies?? I'm feeling lonely....

speaking of...where are all the ladies?? I'm feeling lonely....


Sally~ Don't I count as a lady?

Sally~ Don't I count as a lady?

Of course you do! There only seems to be a few of us ladies commenting though! I totally agree with the prostitute thing being a turn off though!

Maaaan this is an interesting blog. First of all, I wouldnt' want to be with a guy that has paid multiple prositutes for sex. I see it as an act of desperation. A man that can't control his own sexual tensions and degrades woman by paying them to have sex with him is pretty pathetic. (And I'm not defending the prostitutes, they degrade the essence of being a woman) I would lose respect for him. And If I don't respect the person I love, than what's the point?

"If a girl who loves me, would lose that love for me if i told her I had relations with a prostitute, well, that kind of says a lot about her character, and it would be her loss..."

This once again goes to Respect. It does say a lot about her character. It shows that she has enough self respect and enough dignity to leave a person she has no respect for and who she doesn't agree morally with. I personally would rather be with a JERK than with a desperate loser that pays woman to fulfill his sexual desires. At least I benefit and learn from a relationship with a "jerk." And that's what failed relationships are for. They're for learning. I mean if i was in a relationship with a guy that slept with prostitutes, I wouldn't learn anything, I would just feel sad for the him....feel sad that he lost a chance with a great independant, strong woman for lousy sex with disgusting, self-degrading whores that have no self-respect.

and MUGZ...it wouldn't be her loss. It would be your loss. You would lose a chance at love with a real woman at the expense of your emotion-less sessions with prostitutes that don't even deserve the tittle of a WOMAN.

think of it this way? If you were to be with a woman....and she told you she was a prostitue for 5 or 6 years and has slept with more than 500 men. Would you still love her? Would you still respect her?

At the end of the day it's all about getting your nut, dude...

Wow - thanks for your comments guys - especially you Andy... that was fantastic... Thanks for providing such insight!!!

There seems to be a pattern here... it would appear that no one in these forums has any respect for prostitutes or the purpose they serve at all - which helps me develop a huge sense of pity for the poor girls. I know, within my heart, that i could never go to a prostitute, for the aforementioned reasons, that it is so degrading to woman as a whole...

Also, going without sex is no biggy anyways, it's not hard, and it does teach you self control... and the needs we do have... well, as Imajinit pointed out, we have Mrs Palmer and her five daughters, and a stella imaginiation

Mandy - if someone was with a prostitute 4 years ago, and they hadn't been with one since, and they were honest enough to tell you they were with a prostitute, would you still look down on them? at the end of the day, I know it's all about respect, and obviously the bloke has enough respect for you to tell you that he has been with a pro, when really, he didn't have to tell you anyway!!!

attitudes like you have just displayed, are perfect reasons why some guys just go through life lying about everything, because they fear they will lose what they love just for being honest... If i was with a woman I truely loved, even if she was a prostitute years ago, that in no way would change my opinion of her... it doesn't change who she is as a person, and it's in her past.... If everyone worried about what people did in the past, there would be no moving forward whatsoever.

Its a bit of a shame actually... if i ever were with a prostitute, based on the attitudes on display here, I would be too scared to tell any girl that i was, because it looks like an un-forgivable sin...

Thanks for your comments guys.

BAM!!!

Mandy totally fab response chick...respect your honesty loads.

it would appear that no one in these forums has any respect for prostitutes or the purpose they serve at all - which helps me develop a huge sense of pity for the poor girls.

I don't respect them. That is true. I think that they cheapen everything that women stand for. However I do feel sorry for them, that they feel they need to lower themselves to such levels. I'm sure it's not something they would ideally want to do. Just because I don't resoect them, does not mean i would look at them as any less than myself though. there are many levels you can judge a person, and I wouldn't judge them just for that. I wouldn't really want to have sex with them though!

perfect reasons why some guys just go through life lying about everything, because they fear they will lose what they love just for being honest...

Ooooh! I hate it when men say stuff like that. They do something they think we won't like, and their excuse for lying is that is because of our reaction! Noooo! That is not the case! Honesty is the most important thing, before anything else. Even if we had aproblem with what you done, if we really loved you and was meant to be, we would forgive it. Don't take the easy way out, and not tell us because you think we are going to get mad. Not that i actually think you would do that Mugz!

if i ever were with a prostitute, based on the attitudes on display here, I would be too scared to tell any girl that i was, because it looks like an un-forgivable sin

Not un-forgivable. Well not for me anyway. I'd respect your honesty a great deal, and it would make it all the more seedy if you tried to hide it. It wouldn't be the best thing I ever heard though. It would probably make me have some doubts about your views on sex and relationships, but if I was with a man i truely loved and I ended the relationship because he told me once he'd slept with a prostitute, I would only be hurting myself in the long run!