Momma's going to have to kick some ass.......

from JoeUser Forums

My children and I have been spending quite a bit of time at the pool recently.

My 11 year old daughter, who is...ahem...quite developed for her age, shall we say, has been getting a lot of attention. 

Not from kids her own age.

Not even from kids who are 1 or 2 years older than her.

From 18+ year olds.

She's pretty good about standing up for herself, and most of the time will handle herself and the situation alone.

There have been occasions, and these occasions are becoming more and more frequent, where momma has to step in.

When I say situations, let me explain what I'm talking about:  overt comments of a sexual nature, such as asking her what her bra size is, telling her she has a "nice booty", if she dates, if she's kissed anyone....comments that are totally inappropriate.

My usual stance is to ask the kids to please leave her alone.  If they don't, my next reaction is to explain  what Shea's dad does, and to ask if they really want their folks to get a call from Security Forces asking why they were coming on to an 11 year old girl.  That usually works.

Shea has complained once that some guy 'accidentally' brushed her butt whilst she was in the water.  This was a guy that had made a couple of comments to her earlier.  I asked her to show me where he was, but when we went and looked we couldn't find him.  Lucky him.  She said she'd recognize him if she saw him again, so every time we go now we're on the lookout.  If and when we see him, I'll give him the 'I'm sure it was an accident, but if it happens again" brief..and if it does happen again, I'll have no qualms getting law enforcement involved.  None.  I'll also have no qualms about 'accidentally' grabbing his nuts and twisting them a full 360 degrees until he gets the message that he doesn't speak to, come on to, touch, look at or think about my 11 year old child in any way, shape or form. I'll also have no qualms about letting his folks know that they have a wanna-be pedophile living under their roof.  Do you think he'll get the message?

My daughter is a little girl.  She may have an adult-esque body, but she doesn't have the maturity to back that up.  She shouldn't have to deal with comments like that.  She's not going to HAVE to deal woth situations like that.

Mommas going to start taking names and kicking ass......

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13,845 views 32 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
Ah, you go kick some butt.

Some girls are just hard to tell what age they are. And you have every right to be protective of her. My naive nature wants me to believe that these guys really do have no idea that she's 11. But I have a hard time beleiving they don't know she's under 18, at least. That should be enough of a deterant, but I guess some guys still think they can get away with it.

You know whats the bad though? Go into a store and see 13ish-year old girls wearing things that "show off their assets". I don't know how parents let them out of the house. And even worse than that, is when a girl like that is being accompanied by her mom who is dressed up just as bad. I just shake my head and say to myself, "I wonder where she gets it from." If I was a dad of a girl and saw her dressed like that, I would immediately go through her closet and drawers and start throwing stuff away. And gawd forbid if mommy bought that stuff for her. Because the simple and sad fact is that when an attractive maturing girl dresses like that, its not just 13 year old boys that are going to be looking. And there are plenty of creeps out there that don't care if a girl is underaged or not.

And a little off-topic, I remember hearing on the news that research was done that said the plastic bottles that all water and soft-drinks are bottled in have a chemical inside of them that appears to boost the rate at which girls develop. Of course I only heard that once, so it may have been later found untrue, but it sticks in my mind everytime I see stuff like this.
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top

I looked older than I was when I was a teen.  I remember having these two 30ish guys trying to pick up my sister and I (I was 16 and she was 18).  I told them that I was only 16 and they wouldn't believe me.  I mean, these guys were at least 14 years older than me.  It was nasty.

Even if she looks old for her age, I doubt that she looks "legal" so they are being perverts even if they "think" that she is older.

I think I can wait for my daughter to get older

Ashes of the Singularity II
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
As a 22yr old guy who lives in a University town, I can personally attest to how damn hard it's becoming to tell the legal girls from the illegal ones. Summer here is particularly hard because you have mostly incoming freshmen (17 and 18yr olds) running around in almost nothing... and then there are all the summer camps that get hosted here (academic and sports) with 14-16yr olds running around in almost nothing. Some are easy to spot, but most aren't. It's to the point now where I have to ask a girl's age if she's acting at all flirty, it's just a risk I can't take. Too bad I'm one of the few around here who takes the matter seriously... I've seen obviously underaged girls getting into frat parties and bars around here many many times, always clinging to the arm of some guy who is obviously several years their senior.

It's getting to the point where you have to ask for ID from any girl who flirts with you, because you can't tell just by looking at most of them.
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
By all means kick ass. Can't be too careful nowadays.
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
If you don't kick their ass' I'll do it for you! Stand your ground.

I'm really not looking forward to Alysia growing up... But I swear, If she ever wears some trashy out fit, I will take it off of her and burn it.

Shawn
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
Well, I suppose it's possible that they don't know how old she is/isn't, but I can't imagine that she comes close to looking like an adult when she's 11.....so tell 'em once, and then all bets are off. I LOVE the description of what you're going to do to the "poor boy"....he won't be apt to forget again, will he?
Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top
Sorry if it looked like I was defending these guys... I'm not. They get ONE warning, and after that, I fully support negative reenforcement through the use of scisors...
Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top

Rhino...when we were shopping for bathing suits for Shea this year I had a hack of a time because she kept rejecting ones that didn't "cover enough".  She's somewhat prudish (hooray!!!!)...hopefully she'll syaty that way for a while!

Zoomba _ I didn;t think you were defending them at all.  You're right, the way some girls flirt you really do have to ask for ID.  I, like I said, give one warning.  A warning which includes my asking them if they know how old she is. 

If they hit on her AFTER they know she's 11.........well, then they deserve everything they get.  And they will get it.  Hell hath no fury like Karen after some pervert has tried to pick up her child.....

..and man, I'd hate to see the consequences should this happen after Dave gets home!  Some poor kid's going to end up bald and ball-less!

Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top
Poetmom, I don't think those guys will be apt to do anything after momma gets done with 'em!

I'm still under 18 so this conversation is kind of moot to me, but go kick some names and take some ass!
Reply #10 from JoeUser Forums Top
This is the very reason I dont want to have a daughter... too many sickos... Mummy and Daddy cannot watch all the time!

It's just so terrible to think about... Although, I am sure any daughter of yours would be able to handle herself pretty quickly... maybe not at the moment, but I am positive she will develop the necessary techniques soon enough.

BAM!!!
Reply #11 from JoeUser Forums Top

maybe not at the moment, but I am positive she will develop the necessary techniques soon enough.


I shall take that as the compliment I'm sure you intended it to be, Muggaz!


She's learning well, and learning quickly.  It's sad that she HAS to learn. 


Personally, I blame it all on B Spears and C Agulera. 

Reply #13 from JoeUser Forums Top

If they hit on her AFTER they know she's 11.........well, then they deserve everything they get


You couldn't be more right about that!  Jail bate mean anything to these guys?  It sure as hell should!  Also, I have the same sentiment as Mr Frog


At 12 yrs old I was 5'7" and a C cup.  Quite popular with older guys and truly had no idea why.  These young girls truly need others looking out for them.  Man, if I could only have the body I had then coupled with the knowledge I have now!"

Reply #14 from JoeUser Forums Top

Man, I'm glad I have two boys.


Yeah, I have 2 of those as well.  They're very protective of their sister.  I can see there being quite a few confrontations regarding Shea and boys in the future. 


Boys, however, have their own issues.  My Davey has just started to like to shower and smell good....I think the little girl up the street has taken an interest.  Hopefully he'll see all these jackasses that Shea's having to deal with and lean how NOT to treat girls.


At 12 yrs old I was 5'7" and a C cup.  Quite popular with older guys and truly had no idea why. 


Shea is 5'1" and is almost a B cup now.  The sad thing is she's now figured out WHY she's popular with guys and isn't very happy about it. 

Reply #15 from JoeUser Forums Top
"My usual stance is to ask the kids to please leave her alone. If they don't, my next reaction is to explain what Shea's dad does, and to ask if they really want their folks to get a call from Security Forces asking why they were coming on to an 11 year old girl. That usually works."

pwned.

"I'll also have no qualms about 'accidentally' grabbing his nuts and twisting them a full 360 degrees until he gets the message that he doesn't speak to, come on to, touch, look at or think about my 11 year old child in any way, shape or form"

Dharma, that hurt just reading it. But those perverts would deserve it! Freakin' weirdos...

And how do you get your wrist to go 360 degrees? I bet its some kind of awesome Mom skill you acquire.
Reply #16 from JoeUser Forums Top

And how do you get your wrist to go 360 degrees? I bet its some kind of awesome Mom skill you acquire.


It's a police thing.  I could tell you, but then I'd have to hurt ya!  I know quite a few, actually.  My husband, being  a cop, and also having been a correctional officer, learned all kinds of neat stuff like that...and I got to be the guinea pig.  I, in turn, got to see if I could do them on him.


 

Reply #17 from JoeUser Forums Top
I've dated younger women, some as much as 12 years younger. I've also dated older. To me, age doesn't matter nearly as much as the person. That being said, I can not imagine a situation where an 11-year-old looked like a viable possibility. That's just sick.
Reply #18 from JoeUser Forums Top

I can not imagine a situation where an 11-year-old looked like a viable possibility. That's just sick.


That's what I'm saying.  I've gone out with younger dudes....my husband is younger than me.....but an 11 year old, or a pubescent girl? Who looks and acts like a kid?  If she were flirting with boys I could understand it, but all she was doing was throwing her sinking starfish and seahorses in the deep end and then diving for them when these assholes came on to her. She was being a little girl, playing with her toys. 


The other issue I have is with the persistence.  She tells them to back off, and they won't leave it alone until I step in.  What kind of crap is that? 

Reply #19 from JoeUser Forums Top
Dharma~ Poor Shea!!!!!!!!!!! Screw them, they don't even deserve a warning, they deserve the shit beat out of them, I will help!

~JoLynda
Reply #20 from JoeUser Forums Top
I noticed how you said, Karen, that you blame it on Britney and Christina. I think, for one, sexuality has been in the forefront of the society since the 80s (with Madonna being the patron saint). However, it is so prevalent (I guess you could say) nowadays. The clothes are tighter, the jeans are lower and young girls are receiving the message that they are worth something if only if they reveal their bodies.

I don't remember it being like that in the 80s. I think it's tougher to be a young woman post-Britney because standards have been lowered so much.

Reply #21 from JoeUser Forums Top
I noticed how you said, Karen, that you blame it on Britney and Christina. I think, for one, sexuality has been in the forefront of the society since the 80s (with Madonna being the patron saint). However, it is so prevalent (I guess you could say) nowadays. The clothes are tighter, the jeans are lower and young girls are receiving the message that they are worth something if only if they reveal their bodies.


Touché

It's a crying shame... young girls dont have any role models that make them realise that their brains are worth much more than their bodies... and young blokes dont really have many role models to make them realise that an intelligent, nice chick is always better than the ditzy hot one.

Parent's are great role models, and Dharma, I am sure Shea will be fine, but who does the parenting when you aren't there? damn MTV... If Britney can get her crap voice blasted all over the airwaves just because she is freaken hot, it tells young girls they can do anything... as long as they flaunt their 'assets'

pffft...

BAM!!!
Reply #22 from JoeUser Forums Top

Muggaz, you got an 'insisghtful' for that response.

Just wanted you to know.

Reply #23 from JoeUser Forums Top
Poetmom, I don't think those guys will be apt to do anything after momma gets done with 'em!


Very good point! They'll be lucky if they can move, breathe, etc.

To me, age doesn't matter nearly as much as the person.


I agree...AFTER both parties are consenting adults...after all, my husband is 18 yrs older than I am. I can NOT, however, imagine what my parents would have done if a 29 yr old had been hitting on their 11 yr old daughter....most likely, someone would have had to bail my Daddy out of jail!

The clothes are tighter, the jeans are lower and young girls are receiving the message that they are worth something if only if they reveal their bodies.


As the mother of 14 and 11 yr old daughters, I find it increasingly more difficult to buy them clothes that don't look like they belong on college girls....or have slogans on them that are unacceptable to us....the whole thing is just getting ridiculous!!

Parent's are great role models, and Dharma, I am sure Shea will be fine, but who does the parenting when you aren't there? damn MTV...


Just another reason why there is no cable TV in this house.....a view which most of their friends' parents share, thankfully. In this house, we do whatever we can to insure that our children remain children as long as possible.....not to the point of isolating them, or failing to educate them to possible dangers, but in terms of monitoring what they watch, read, listen to, wear, etc......
Reply #24 from JoeUser Forums Top

in terms of monitoring what they watch, read, listen to, wear, etc......


I want to expose my children to stuff so that they're not taken off-guard by anything...but it's my responsibility as a parent to decide when it's appropriate to do so, dig? 


Shea is old enough to know why she's attracting attention.  Davey has a clue why, thinks it's sick, and is annoyed when people talk to his sister.  Jake has no idea.  See what I mean?  Jake just doesn;t have the maturity to understand, Davey sort of does....and that kind of 'scale' applies in other aspects of life.


I'm lucky...Shea won't wear short shorts or halter tops.  She doesn't like to be too 'exposed'...and Dave and I are praying that it stays that way!

Reply #25 from JoeUser Forums Top
Man, if I could only have the body I had then coupled with the knowledge I have now!"

hehehe. I wish I did, too!

Dharma, I mean to save this post for several years in the future. My girl is tall, up to my underarms now, and is only six. (I'm 5'6 or so). She's going to be very tall later on, as she seems to have the longest legs in the world already. She's a beauty, and I would be lying if I said that I wasn't concerned already. It's good to hear how you are handling it... wishing you well! "