dharmagrl dharmagrl

Momma's going to have to kick some ass.......

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Momma's going to have to kick some ass.......

from JoeUser Forums

My children and I have been spending quite a bit of time at the pool recently.

My 11 year old daughter, who is...ahem...quite developed for her age, shall we say, has been getting a lot of attention. 

Not from kids her own age.

Not even from kids who are 1 or 2 years older than her.

From 18+ year olds.

She's pretty good about standing up for herself, and most of the time will handle herself and the situation alone.

There have been occasions, and these occasions are becoming more and more frequent, where momma has to step in.

When I say situations, let me explain what I'm talking about:  overt comments of a sexual nature, such as asking her what her bra size is, telling her she has a "nice booty", if she dates, if she's kissed anyone....comments that are totally inappropriate.

My usual stance is to ask the kids to please leave her alone.  If they don't, my next reaction is to explain  what Shea's dad does, and to ask if they really want their folks to get a call from Security Forces asking why they were coming on to an 11 year old girl.  That usually works.

Shea has complained once that some guy 'accidentally' brushed her butt whilst she was in the water.  This was a guy that had made a couple of comments to her earlier.  I asked her to show me where he was, but when we went and looked we couldn't find him.  Lucky him.  She said she'd recognize him if she saw him again, so every time we go now we're on the lookout.  If and when we see him, I'll give him the 'I'm sure it was an accident, but if it happens again" brief..and if it does happen again, I'll have no qualms getting law enforcement involved.  None.  I'll also have no qualms about 'accidentally' grabbing his nuts and twisting them a full 360 degrees until he gets the message that he doesn't speak to, come on to, touch, look at or think about my 11 year old child in any way, shape or form. I'll also have no qualms about letting his folks know that they have a wanna-be pedophile living under their roof.  Do you think he'll get the message?

My daughter is a little girl.  She may have an adult-esque body, but she doesn't have the maturity to back that up.  She shouldn't have to deal with comments like that.  She's not going to HAVE to deal woth situations like that.

Mommas going to start taking names and kicking ass......

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13,846 views 32 replies
Reply #26 from JoeUser Forums Top
after all, my husband is 18 yrs older than I am.


Wooo! Way ta go poetdad (or whatever his name is)!
Reply #27 from JoeUser Forums Top
Just another reason why there is no cable TV in this house.....


I had to go without cable for the first three months in my new house and I really didn't miss it (except for internet access).
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Reply #28 from JoeUser Forums Top

Dharma, I mean to save this post for several years in the future. My girl is tall, up to my underarms now, and is only six. (I'm 5'6 or so). She's going to be very tall later on, as she seems to have the longest legs in the world already. She's a beauty, and I would be lying if I said that I wasn't concerned already. It's good to hear how you are handling it... wishing you well! "


Hey Nic, how the heck are ya?! How's the job going?


I'm telling you, you have to watch them.  I'm not worried about my child so much, I'm worried about the little perverts that are checking her out all the time.


Check this out...one of them was riding his electric scooter around outside the pool this afternoon, almost knocking people over and being  a jack-ass in general.  He didn't have a helmet on, so I stopped him and told him to put on his head gear or "park it and walk".  As I was walking away, one of his little buddies called me a "bitch"...I didn't hear it, my sons told me.  I turned around, went over to this kid who immediately said "it was an accident, I'm sorry" (w/o my even having said a word) and wouldn't look me in the eye.  I said I didn't see how a 14 year old calling an adult a bitch could be an accident, but that I accepted his apology and wouldn't be talking to his parents this time...but there had better not be a next time.


WTF?  When I was that age I wouldn't have dreamt of speaking to an adult that way, or even about an adult that way. It wouldn't have even crossed my mind. 


Just another sign o' the times....*sigh*" 

Reply #29 from JoeUser Forums Top
I was the same way when I was around her age, and had the same problem. My mom taught me something that really works believe it or not. When a guy started to mess with me I would look around for the biggest scariest guy around and yell "Daddy come here I want you to meet someone." It would totally scare the hell out of them.
Reply #30 from JoeUser Forums Top
As the mother of 14 and 11 yr old daughters, I find it increasingly more difficult to buy them clothes that don't look like they belong on college girls....or have slogans on them that are unacceptable to us....the whole thing is just getting ridiculous!!


My daughter is only 4 and so many of the clothes out there look like they come right out of MTV! What to do?!
Reply #31 from JoeUser Forums Top
This discussion is a fascinating read.... I'm not married yet (give me a year-ish), nor do I have kids (at the moment we're not even planning on it) so I don't have anything I can add from personal experience. Even though I don't really want kids, I've always wondered at odd times how I would do as a parent - like when I'm clothes shopping and can't find anything I like because it's all designed for the MTV demographic, or when I'm watching TV and see a commercial or a snippet of show that makes me wonder what we're doing to ourselves. Reading comments like these - from people trying to be the best parents they can - is just... I don't have the words for it. It's amazing. One of the reasons I don't want kids is that I don't think I'd be able to deal with this sort of thing. I wish I _did_ have the words for it, because not being able to say this right is driving me nuts.
Reply #32 from JoeUser Forums Top

One of the reasons I don't want kids is that I don't think I'd be able to deal with this sort of thing

You just muddle through the best way you can.  I find that a 'fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants' style parenting works best for me.  Being too staunch and rigid isn't a good thing whn you have pre-teen kids.  That's not to say that I don't enforce the rules, I do.  I just take each situation as it comes,  evaluate it on it's individual merits, and act accordingly.

I didn't think that I'd be able to cope before I had kids either. If you look at it as being an instant parent of an 11 year old it does seem very daunting..but these are the little people I carried inside me, birthed, nursed, raised...I know them better than they know themselves.  It's not so bad.