Cheryl1952 Cheryl1952

Blonde Joke

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Blonde Joke

from WinCustomize Forums
    A blonde finds herself in serious trouble. Her business has gone bust and she's in dire financial straits. She's so desperate that she decides to ask God for help.

    She begins to pray... "God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lottery."

    Lottery night comes, and somebody else wins.

    She again prays... "God, please let me win the lottery! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well."

    Lottery night comes and she still has no luck.

    Once again, she prays... "My God, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My children are starving.  I don't often ask     you for help, and I've always been a good servant to you.  PLEASE let me win the lottery just this one time so I can get my life back in order."

    Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open.     The blonde is overwhelmed by the Voice of God, Himself...."Sweetheart, work with Me on this.... Buy a ticket."
13,236 views 56 replies
Reply #51 from WinCustomize Forums Top
The Iraq?


hehe yeh I think she got it confused with Tie Rack,I was also puzzled as to how she managed to get South Africa into her answer  ,talk about brainfart.    
Reply #52 from WinCustomize Forums Top
,talk about brainfart.


Just as well she wasn't wearing a hat to blow off

Next day the news headlines read: "Audience member hit by flying beret at beauty pageant!" (sh!tskids inside?)
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Reply #53 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Hehehe Starkers,it wouldn't have reached the front row.    
Reply #54 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Hehehe Starkers,it wouldn't have reached the front row.


Yeah, you're right....straight up (two inches) and down.

Like we say here down under....if brains were dynamite, she wouldn't have enough to blow a wig off in a cyclone.
Reply #55 from WinCustomize Forums Top
The Test
Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.

The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples." The king then explained the trial to him. "You have to shove the fruits up your butt without any expression on your face or you'll be eaten."

The first apple went in... but on the second one he winced out in pain, so he was killed.

The second one arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this should be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... and on the ninth berry he burst out in laughter and was killed.

The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, "Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?" The second one replied, "I couldn't help it, I saw the third guy coming with pineapples."
Reply #56 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Bet with blond

A redhead walks into a sports bar around 9:58 PM. She sits down next to this blond at the bar and stares up at the TV. The 10:00 news was on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.

The redhead turns to the blond and says, "You know, I bet he'll jump."

The blond replied, "Well, I bet he won't."

The redhead placed $20 dollars on the bar and said, "You're on!"

Just as the blond placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. The blond was very upset and handed her $20 dollars to the redhead and said, "All is fair. Here is your money."

The redhead replies, "Honey, I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump."

The blond replies, "I did too, but I didn't think he'd do it again"