Blonde Joke

from WinCustomize Forums
    A blonde finds herself in serious trouble. Her business has gone bust and she's in dire financial straits. She's so desperate that she decides to ask God for help.

    She begins to pray... "God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lottery."

    Lottery night comes, and somebody else wins.

    She again prays... "God, please let me win the lottery! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well."

    Lottery night comes and she still has no luck.

    Once again, she prays... "My God, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My children are starving.  I don't often ask     you for help, and I've always been a good servant to you.  PLEASE let me win the lottery just this one time so I can get my life back in order."

    Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open.     The blonde is overwhelmed by the Voice of God, Himself...."Sweetheart, work with Me on this.... Buy a ticket."
13,235 views 56 replies
Reply #1 from WinCustomize Forums Top


Please heed this warning. It could happen to you.....

TICK WARNING!

I hate it when people forward bogus warnings, and I have even done it myself a couple times unintentionally.....but this one is real, and it's important. So please send this warning to everyone on your e-mail list.

If someone comes to your front door saying they are checking for ticks due to the warm weather and asks you to take your clothes off and dance around with your arms up, DO NOT DO IT!! THIS IS A SCAM!! They only want to see you naked.

I wish I'd gotten this yesterday. I feel so stupid.

Blondie

Reply #2 from WinCustomize Forums Top






I wish I'd gotten this yesterday. I feel so stupid.




Hey Lantec; Who, in their right mind would intentionally wish to see you nakid.
WindowBlinds - Free yourself of the default settings, customize your desktop.
Reply #3 from WinCustomize Forums Top
A blond was driving down the highway towards Disneyland, when she saw a sign saying "Disneyland Left"..... so she turned around and went home!
Reply #4 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Hey Lantec; Who, in their right mind would intentionally wish to see you nakid.


My Doctor!

guess I shoulda put that in quotes.........

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."
Reply #6 from WinCustomize Forums Top
My wife's a blonde so I've got a million of them..........


Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License?
A: Because she got an F in sex.
Reply #7 from WinCustomize Forums Top
I've got a million of them..........


a million blond wives.... that's a lot!
Reply #8 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License?
A: Because she got an F in sex.


Why can't blonds GET drivers licenses?
It's hard to drive while laying down in the backseat!
Reply #9 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Why can't blonds GET drivers licenses?
It's hard to drive while laying down in the backseat!


Uh oh!  
Reply #10 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Is that a borg monkey you have as an avatar messiah1?
Reply #11 from WinCustomize Forums Top
       Please stop I'm supposed to be working here.    
Reply #12 from WinCustomize Forums Top
A seventy-year-old man was at the hospital and was asked to deliver a sperm sample asap. He was given a sample jar and sent home. The next week he showed up again with the jar, but it was empty! "What happened?" asked the doctor. "Well, when I got home, I tried with my right hand. Then I tried with my left hand. My wife then tried with both hands. We finally called Edith from next door, and she tried with both hands AND her mouth. None of us could get the damn lid off the jar!"

You might say "hey that's not a blond joke"

The old man could've been blond when he was young!
Reply #13 from WinCustomize Forums Top
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"

In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."

Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
Reply #14 from WinCustomize Forums Top

Why did the blonde go arounde the same block 60 times?
Because her turnsignal got stuck...

What's the correct term for a 'smart blonde'?

Golden Retriever...

Reply #15 from WinCustomize Forums Top
What do you call a blond who's dyed her hair brunette?

Artificial intelligence!
Reply #16 from WinCustomize Forums Top
These are hilarious... and I object!

~from a blonde.    
Reply #17 from WinCustomize Forums Top
How can you tell if a blond has been using your computer?

Whiteout all over the screen!
Reply #18 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Q: what do you call 20 blondes lined up ear to ear?
A: a wind tunnel!
Reply #19 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Why don't blonds get lunch breaks?
It's to hard to retrain them!
Reply #20 from WinCustomize Forums Top
How do you keep a blonde busy for hours?

Scroll Down. --->


























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Reply #21 from WinCustomize Forums Top
I don't get it
Reply #22 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Is that a borg monkey you have as an avatar messiah1?


I guess it could be...join the Collective.
Reply #23 from WinCustomize Forums Top
We actually call monkeys species 86561
Reply #24 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Q: What did the blond say when she found out she was pregnant?
A: I hope it's not mine.
Reply #25 from WinCustomize Forums Top
We actually call monkeys species 86561


That sounds so...Borging.