Second foray...

from JoeUser Forums
This is something I wrote ages ago, when things were not going too terribly well at home. This was written in winter, in a truck, on post, in the dark ...I was watching the snow come down and trying to stay warm in between doing perimeter checks and spotlighting bunnies and the occasional junkyard dog.

Love Lost?

Emptiness
where love used to be
Darkness
no hope of light.

Pain
in place of desire
Aching
with no respite.

Existence
in place of life
Apathy
no will to fight.

Me?
'I' am no more
Gone
from your sight.
misc
3,229 views 5 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
Nobody likes my poem...:(
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
Ok, I'm not posting any more poetry...
Siege of Centauri
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
I liked your poem! I was just on vacation from JU for a while. Keep on posting in any form that suits you at any given time. It's all good.
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
Dear Dharma~You are most certainly a poet, and you had just better know it! You know what it reminds me of? Dickinson~if she had been writing poems in a truck (which is to say~your poem has a more contemporary ring to it...) And I think all the rhymes are awesome! I loved every single one. And it did make the poem so much stronger w/those rhymes. Some contemporary poets actually frown upon form? But I do like it quite a bit. Not exclusively~mind you. Because many (indeed most!) of my poems are of the "free" verse type, etc. So I think your poem is emotionally and intellectually quite stimulating! And you had BETTER post some more! Because I am now a BIG fan of your poetry, as well as you beautiful prose. THANKS FOR BEING A POET!!

~MadPoet
(President Of Friends Of Sir Peter Maxwell Society, U.S.A.)

P.S. I only listed my so-called "title" from the Society because I wanted to apologize to you for taking so long to comment on your beautiful poem. It has been a very trying day~to say the least. Another baffling death threat (a cyberone this time), and then Sir Peter popped in to offer us a few kind words of generous support! As this was quite unexpected, we had to make haste, and somehow present ourselves to him in a pleasing fashion. This was not all that easy~given all the late night Staff meetings, and desperate calls of support we have been so tirelessly engaging in as of late. I mean, I don't think I have been this wiped out in many a year. Maybe since my sad and difficult days as a most ambitious college student. An English major, dig? However, I will not be undone by these petty threats on my life! The Society needs me, and quite frankly I need them too~I feel like my life has a sense of purpose now that it was oh so conspicuously missing before. Life is good now. Everything is cool. I'm not so sure I would have said that a couple weeks ago, before I became a JU blogger, and met so many truly beautiful and amazing people like yourself. I LOVE THE POEM!!
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
Pain
in place of desire
Aching
with no respite.


I enjoyed this part... and don't give up so soon. If you checked out the comments for some of the amazing poetry on Anti-Prose
Link you'll see that very few get the kind of responses that regular articles do. Why? Here's my guess: it's pretty hard to be critical about poetry, if you don't feel well-versed in doing so. Poetry is very dependent on emotion... it's hard to critique without feeling like you are coming down on someone's feelings. As well, some people need some time to really think about how it has affected them. Keep it up!

p.s. you should submit your stuff to Anti-Prose. Go to the link, and follow the instructions. It can still stay in your own blog, just mark your site when it gives you the options... your title will post in Anti-Prose's index, and you still get to check out the stats of it. It's nice to see the collection of poets on Joeuser. Good work is always available to read. It's easier to search for this kind of writing when it's in a collective blog. The support is good, too.

Same goes for you MadPoet, if you are interested.