"I am become death"

-or- walking with the Reaper

from JoeUser Forums
As we wander our path through life, almost all of us will have tangential meetings with the Reaper a time or two before our final, personal reckoning. 
 
But some of us meet him a bit more often than that.
 
Death quietly, continuously stalks the halls of the ICU, peering over our shoulders as we struggle and fight to keep him out.  Or at least to delay his inevitable arrival.  Perhaps in other cultures, he is not so feared and worshipped at the same time.  But here, in America, we have a fascination with Death. 
 
Some of us are hell-bent on meeting him as soon as possible.  I get to know some of those folks, trying to help them while they rush headlong to embrace that grim specter.  Most don't think that is what they are doing.  They are just "living their lives".  From the outside though, they are quite obviously living to die.  Still, we do what we can.  It is our charge, even when we know our efforts will be wasted the second they are out of our care and back in their own.
 
Others ignore that they are firmly holding Death's hand, being led down that path.  They beg us to fight, order us to stave him off, to keep them alive.  Or perhaps their families do the begging, the screaming, the ordering.  We know there is nothing more.  The time has arrived.  But we respect their wishes and requests, even when we know it will do no good.  To a point that is.  Then we have to assert, and let Death have his due.
 
Then there are those who surprise you.  Perhaps they saw death coming for a bit, but they turned that corner.  They walked away.  We helped get them past that, and we feel the joy of our success.  And we blink.  And they are gone.  No one saw it coming, no one knows why Death came for them, so swiftly, so suddenly.  Our joy becomes confusion becomes guilt becomes resignation.
 
Death comes for us all.  And lately I have been walking by his side.
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8,348 views 17 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
Very fascinating read, Dev. I can only imagine what it's like to be around death all the time. I'd imagine it would be a life-chaning experience, man.






But I must admit, when I saw that you were the one who had written this article, I was expecting something about Opeth
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top

Nope, no Opeth. 

Just the sobering reality of seeing people die on a daily basis, despite all we try to do.

Elemental: Reforged
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top

Good article...I could see this being in a book Blue...seriously....I like to read suspense/whodunnit books, and they are often written like this.

Great piece.

Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
Thanks Tova.  I appreciate the comment.
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top

Death quietly, continuously stalks the halls of the ICU, peering over our shoulders as we struggle and fight to keep him out. Or at least to delay his inevitable arrival.

I liked that line.  Because all too often people forget that we are destined to die, only the time and manner is in doubt.

Death is not always a curse.  And for all it is a release.  Great article.

Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
I'm at the third group, one that knows there's death, but chose not to be too concerned about it. If I die, I die.
Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top

Death is not always a curse. And for all it is a release. Great article.

I agree Doc.  It is inevitable and is not necessarily something to be feared so.  Doesn't mean I am running headlong toward it though.

Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top
This is lovely Peter. Lovely in the way you worded it and the thoughts that flowed. Sometimes death is what we know is the inevitable but we just want to hang on to our loved one for just a bit longer. And as you said, sometimes we know that it's time to let go.

There are so many people out there who take their lives for granted in what they do and how they treat themselves. Life is so precious, when they realise this fact, by that time it's too late.
Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top

If I die, I die.

it isn't "if we die"  it's "when I die, I die"

there's no getting away from it. 

Great article Dr.  and it must be life altering to see it daily,  to battle it, to win somedays,  and to have it come so unexpectedly,  please consider writing a book using your daily blog as your basis?  I've read books by other doctors and they're wonderful! 

Reply #10 from JoeUser Forums Top

I'm at the third group, one that knows there's death, but chose not to be too concerned about it. If I die, I die

Interesting take on things.  Not at all what I was writing about, but interesting.  That third group was about those who come into the hospital, look pretty good, then suddenly die without any warning.

Sometimes death is what we know is the inevitable but we just want to hang on to our loved one for just a bit longer. And as you said, sometimes we know that it's time to let go.

It can be tough.  I know it can.  But it is hard sometimes to see families fight the inevitable, in essence, prolonging their own suffering and misery. 

please consider writing a book using your daily blog as your basis? I've read books by other doctors and they're wonderful!

That is very kind Trudy.  I am flattered.

Reply #11 from JoeUser Forums Top

I am flattered.

well,  wasn't aimin to flatter,  just called it like I see it,  you've no need for modesty concerning your writing cause you's jiz plain good

That is very kind Trudy

you're welcome,  you really are a great writer.

 

Reply #12 from JoeUser Forums Top
Well said, mate. I can't imagine having a job where I would have to face death, let alone having to spend your day trying to fight it off. Once again, my respect and admiration to you, my friend. Keep up the good fight...
Reply #13 from JoeUser Forums Top
Oops. I missed the third group in your article. Sorry.

Well.


I certainly don't want to stay bedridden for months or even years waiting for death to come. Boring, boring, boring. I hope it'll come for me pretty quickly when it happens to be time for me. If my family insists on draining money in order to keep me alive a little longer, I would insist to die.
Reply #14 from JoeUser Forums Top
Nice Dev.

You have walked beside death and it's not an easy road. But keep in mind that there are lives you are saving, second chances allowed by death. When the time comes, it comes. And you do know that sometimes it's for the best.

Chin up my friend. And be proud. It is a heavy load you bear and I admire you for that.
Reply #15 from JoeUser Forums Top

I can't imagine having a job where I would have to face death, let alone having to spend your day trying to fight it off.

It is very cathartic to say the least.  But I have truly come to understand that death can be an end to suffering.  Seing that light has been an important realization for me.

Oops. I missed the third group in your article. Sorry

No worries XX.  I have been informed, more than once, that my writing can be a bit cryptic at times.

Island_Gurl: I appreciate the kind comments.  Thanks.

Reply #16 from JoeUser Forums Top
I can only imagine what it's like to be around death all the time. I'd imagine it would be a life-chaning experience, man.


It IS. Or, it was for me. Working with terminally ill people and holding someone's hand as they died has been an incredibly powerful, life changing experience for me. Seeing how people who know they have a limited time to live handle themselves is a wonderful thing to witness. Those folks really know how to make every moment count, and they've shown me how important taking time to smell the roses really is.

Being with someone at the moment of their death was a very, very spiritual experience. I had my doubts about what happened after death, but holding my patient's hand as she passed away removed a lot of those doubts. I KNOW that there is more, that dying is just a transition.

I am truly grateful to have experienced such a moment.
Reply #17 from JoeUser Forums Top

I KNOW that there is more, that dying is just a transition.

I agree D.  There is something beyond that we just don't know yet.