mrtee

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32=D F at which W F = 32 degrees Farenheit at which water freezes 1=W on a U = 1 wheel on a unicycle 3=W on a T = 3 wheels on a tricycle and still going.

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I answered 7 on page 3. 1001=AN = 1001 Arabian Nights (Knights?) didn't read it. 88=PK = 88 Piano Keys. Q 88 is 24.5 inches (page 1 to the last page (2.5x10-2x.25))

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seven (7)

Reply to Messageboard Joke Marathon in WinCustomize Talk WinCustomize Forums

A large amount of typing errors are caused by 3 reasons: 1. Carelessness 2. Spelling differences across countries (e.g. color/colour) 3. Nonnative English speakers trying to cope with illogical spelling rules I now strongly suggest we should try to simplify the language. To try and do this in one attempt could be disastrous, so I think we should phase it in over a 5 year period. My suggestions are as follows, and I hope you will agree. In the first year, "s" will be

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Q3 post Q4 4/1x9+8-7=37

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You mean like "Little Shop of Horrors"? The original is interesting, but the musical is more entertaining.

Reply to Messageboard Joke Marathon in WinCustomize Talk WinCustomize Forums

IRS Joke... A bright, young, fresh-out-of-school auditor just joined the IRS, excited to begin tracking down high-powered offenders-just as the Enron or WorldCom guys. Anxious for his first high-powered audit, he was a bit dismayed when his assignment was to audit a Rabbi. Looking over the books and taxes were pretty straight forward, and the Rabbi clearly very frugal, so he thought he'd make his day interesting by having a little fun with the Rabbi. "Rabbi," he said,

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New Viruses 2 ADAM AND EVE VIRUS Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple computer. AIRLINE VIRUS You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore. ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back. AT&T VIRUS Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting. BOBBIT VIRUS Removes a vital part of your hard disk then re-attaches it. (But that part will never work again.) CHICAGO CUBS VIRUS Your PC

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NEW VIRUSES Watch out for these viruses. Some are new and could be very destructive to your computer: Ellen Degeneres Virus - Your IBM suddenly claims it's a MAC Monica Lewinsky Virus - Sucks all the memory out of your computer Titanic Virus - Makes your whole computer go down Disney Virus - Everything in the computer goes Goofy Mike Tyson Virus - Quits after one byte Prozac Virus -Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care<b

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Nick Dormaar “PLAY(s) ON WORDS:” Dyslexics have more fnu Clones are people, two Entropy isn’t what it used to be Microbiology Lab Staph Only! Santa’s elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses Eschew obfuscation Air Pollution is a mist-demeanor Atheism is a non-prophet organization Does the name Pavlov ring a bell? Editing is a rewording activity Help stamp out and eradicate superfluous redundancy I used to think I was indecisive, but now

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Math Lesson Little Tommy (who was Jewish) was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried everything: tutors, mentors, flash cards, special learning centers, in short, everything they could think of. Finally, in a last ditch effort, they took Tommy down and enrolled him in the local Catholic school. After the first day, little Tommy came home with a very serious look on his face. He didn't even kiss his mother hello. Instead, he went straight to his room and started stu

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Tech Support Annoyances I wish I knew the original source of this amusing guide to technical support frustrations, but it was one of those things that was forwarded to me after being forwarded about 300 times previously. I dug it out of my humor folder and cleaned up the text to allow for easier reading. 1. When a tech says he's coming right over, log out and go for coffee. It's no problem for us to remember 2700 network passwords. 2. When you call us to have your computer moved, b

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The new Men's Thesaurus - on sale now at your local book stores! "I'M GOING FISHING" Means: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid,and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety." IT'S A GUY THING" Means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical". "CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?" Means: "Why isn't it already on the table?" "UH HUH," "S

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"Work vs. Prison:" IN PRISON...you spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell. AT WORK... you spend the majority of your time in a 6X8 cubicle. IN PRISON...you get three meals a day. AT WORK...you only get a break for one meal and you pay for it. IN PRISON...you get time off for good behavior. AT WORK...you get more work for good behavior. IN PRISON...the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you. AT WORK...you must carry around a security card and open all the doors for

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WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (The actual AP headline) Linda Burnett, 23, was visiting her inlaws, and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head. One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open, and she looked very stran

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"The world's easiest quiz" It requires only 4 correct answers to pass: 1) How long did the Hundred Years War last? 2) Which country makes Panama hats? 3) From which animal do we get catgut? 4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution? 5) What is a camel's hair brush made of? 6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal? 7) What was King George VI's first name? 8) What color is a purple finch? 9) Where are C

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12 Reasons Why CHOCOLATE Is Better Than SEX! 1. You can have chocolate in front of your parents. 2. Nobody starts rumors about who you shared chocolate with. 3. People of the same sex can share chocolate without being called names. 4. The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate. 5. Chocolate is satisfying even if it's gone soft. 6. No matter what kind of chocolate you like, it's legal. 7. You can have chocolate with a whol

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The propblem was that it admired too many spirits! That's why it was in the shape it was in. Not that I ever liked him, but I have to admire his spirit <img src="http://images.stardock.com/images/smiles/sb.gif" border=0 ALIGN="absmiddle" ALT

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City of New Orleans - Guthrie(I think I got the title right) Close enough for government work.

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Why am I here?

Reply to Messageboard Joke Marathon in WinCustomize Talk WinCustomize Forums

Danged if I could either Weaksid...I hear if ya sneeze with your eyes open your eyeballs pop out! And it aint a pretty sight!

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From Langalist 5-14-03 Here's a little regional humor from reader Ken Thomson. It's aimed at Canadians, but can be adapted to almost any region. (And, before anyone lights the torches, let me gently point out that my wife's family is French-Canadian; I'd be nuts to include this, if it were anything but a not-to-be-taken-seriously joke... ) CANADIAN JOKE #1 After the North American Beer Festival, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Coro

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From LangaList 5-7-03 ---Engineer’s recipe for chocolate-chip cookies: 1.) 532.35 cm3 gluten 2.) 4.9 cm3 NaHCO3 3.) 4.9 cm3 refined halite 4.) 236.6 cm3 partially hydrogenated tallow triglyceride 5.) 177.45 cm3 crystalline C12H22O11 6.) 177.45 cm3 unrefined C12H22O11 7.) 4.9 cm3 methyl ether of protocatechuic aldehyde 8.) Two calcium carbonate-encapsulated avian albumen-coated protein 9.) 473.2 cm3 theobroma cacao 10.) 236.6 cm3 de-encapsula

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You know back around the turn of the last century (late 1800's early 1900's)people had a fondness for mayonasse. But brands like Hellmans were not made in this country. All of it had to be imported from England. The biggest problem was that when it arrived it had to be distributed and used quickly because of the lack of refrigeration. A lot of areas didn't have lakes that froze over to cut ice from to keep stuff cold like in Wisconsin. One area that really liked mayonasse wa

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12 STEP PROGRAM OF RECOVERY FOR WEB ADDICTS 1) I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my newspaper like I used to, before the Web. 2) I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with one hand typing. 3) I will get dressed before noon. 4) I will make an attempt to clean the house, wash clothes, and plan dinner before even thinking of the Web. 5) I will sit down and write a letter to those unfortunate few f