So....you want to be an Aussie?....

New anti-terrorism laws: Aussie Citizenship Test


A new test from the government to distinguish the real from the fake.


-  How many slabs can you fit in the back of a Falcon Ute while also allowing room for your cattle dog?
-  When packing an Esky do you put the ice, or the beer, in first?
 - Is the traditional Aussie Christmas dinner: a) At least two roasted meats with roast vegetables, followed by a pudding you could use as a cannonball. Also ham. In 40C heat. b) A seafood buffet followed by a barbie, with rather a lot of booze. And ham. In 40C heat. c) Both of the above, one at lunchtime and one at dinnertime. Weather continues fine.
-  How many beers in a slab?
-  Does "yeah-nah" mean "Yes and no" or "Maybe" or "Yes I understand but No I don't agree"?
- The phrases "strewth" and "flamin' dingo" can be attributed to which TV character? a) Toadie from Neighbours b) Alf from  Home & Away c) Agro from Agro's Cartoon Connection d) Sgt. Tom Croydon from Blue Heelers?
 - When cooking a barbecue do you turn the sausages a) Once or twice b) As often as necessary to cook c) After each stubby d) Until charcoal?
- Name three of the Daddo brothers.
- Who was the original lead singer of AC/DC?
- Which option describes your ideal summer afternoon: a) Drinking beer a mate's place b) Drinking beer at the beach c)  - - Drinking beer watching the cricket/footy d) Drinking beer at a mate's place while watching the cricket before going to the beach?
-  Would you eat pineapple on pizza? Would you eat egg on a pizza?
-  How many cans of beer did David Boon consume on a plane trip from Australia to England?
-  How many stubbies is it from Brissy to the Gold Coast in a Torana travelling at 120km/h?
-  Who are Scott and Charlene?
-  How do you apply your tomato sauce to a pie? a) Squirt and spread with finger b) Sauce injection straight into the middle?
-  If the police raided your home would you: a) Allow them to rummage through your personal items b) Phone up the nearest talkback radio shock jock and complain c) Put a written complaint in to John Howard and hope that he answers it personally?
-  Which Australian Prime Minister held the world record for drinking a yardie full of beer the fastest?
-  Have you ever had/do you have a mullet?
-  Thongs are: a) Skimpy underwear b) Casual footwear c) They're called jandals, bro?
-  On which Ashes tour did Warney's hair look the best? 1993, 1997, 2001 or 2005?
-  What someone is more likely to die of. 1) Red Back Spider 2) Great White Shark 3) Victorian Police Officer 4) King Brown  Snake 5) Your missus after a big night 6) Dropbear?
-  How many times must a steak be turned on a conventional four-burner barbie?
-  Can you sing along to Cold Chisel's Khe Sahn?
-  Explain both the "follow-on" and "LBW" rules in cricket and discuss the pros and cons for the third umpire decisions in the latter....
-  Name at least 5 items that must be taken to a BBQ.
-  Who is current Australian test cricket captain: a) Ricky Ponting b) Don Bradman c) John Howard d) Makybe Diva?
-  Is it best to take a sick day on: a) When the cricket's on b) When the cricket's on c) When the crickets on?
-  What animal is on the Bundaberg Rum bottle?
-  What is the difference between a pot and a middy of beer?
-  What are Budgie smugglers?
-  Did you cry when Molly died on a Country Practice?
-  A "Hoppoate" is: a) A breed of kangaroo b) A kind of Australian "wedgie" c) A disgraced Rugby League player?
-  What does having a 'chunder' mean?
-  When you were young did you prefer the Hills Hoist over any swing set?
-  What do the following terms mean: a) Mate? b) Maate c) Maaaaaaate?
-  What does the terminology 'True Blue' mean?

 

4,756 views 18 replies
Reply #1 Top
I "might" post answers.....[if I knew them all]....
Reply #2 Top
BTW....Jan 26 is 'Australia Day'...[day I met the missus...26 years ago]...
Reply #3 Top
What's an Aussie and why would one want to be one? Does it have something to do with grammer or spelling.



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Reply #4 Top
Happy anniversary, Jafo. That is quite a feat, to stay with another that long. I'm impressed.
Reply #5 Top
Happy Aussie day Jafo and all other Aussies on the site. I mustve lived too long in Oz, I know most of the answers. Kill me now. Oi Oi Oi
Reply #6 Top
Happy Aussie Day, all you Aussies
Reply #7 Top
YEP!! Happy Aussie Day....have always wanted to go there for a visit!! I love the Crocodile Guy from Down Under on the Animal Planet channel!!
Reply #8 Top
Orright ...I'll give it a shot...

1.) Bugger the dog ...more room for beer!
2.) Beer, then some ice on top ....then buy a bag of ice on the way as well. [More beer too]
3.) All of it ...in 40c heat ...and left for several hours whilst consuming much beer.
4.) Depends who's buying said slab. [they make some of 'em in 30's now]
5.) Yes I understand, but no I don't agree [with you drinking my beer]
6.) Tommo ...usually after a cuppla bevvies.
7.) C ....and D [Then sausages are written off as lost cause, leaving more room for beer!
8.) Cameron, Andrew & Lochie [but who cares?]...[unless they're buying]
9.) Bon ["just gonna take a quick dip"] Scott.
10.) Definitely D ....but we'd have to stop at the pub on the way home.
11.) Yes ...and yes ...washed down with beer.
12.) Not enough ....He walked from the plane.
13.) As many as you can! [If you're gonna get done for doin' 120 ...ya might as well have an excuse]
14.) Jason Donovan & Kylie Minogue ~as their screen characters in [thankfully] long-ago episodes of "Neighbors"
15.) Gotta go the ol' sauce injection on this one
16.) Meh ...let 'em rummage. I ain't got nothing to hide [already fenced it ]
17.) Pretty sure it was Robert J Hawke. [He loves his beer ...can't be all bad]
18.) Yes, had ....shaved head these days [cooler in the tropics...plus there's the issue with receding]
19.) Casual footwear ...they ain't ever gonna be called "jandals" here, cuz ..eh!
20.) 2001 [Advanced hair ....yeah, yeah!]
21.) Toss-up between the Victorian Police Officer, and the drop bear. My money's on the Vic cops.
22.) Enough so that it'll bounce back onto the barbie if dropped over the edge, accidentally.
23.) Yes, word-for-word ['specially whilst drinking beer]
24.) Bugger off! ...Read a book ya lazy drongo! ...Can't you see I'm busy drinkin' me beer?
25.) Beer, beer, beer, beer and beer. [In that order]
26.) The one & only Ricky Ponting ....natch!
27.) I'll take a rough stab at this one.... ....err, umm, ....when the cricket's on?
28.) A polar bear. [lightweight ...doesn't drink beer]
29.) Location.
30.) Yikes! ...Speedo's! [otherwise known as di*ktogs]
31.) Nope ...hated the show.
32.) B and C ....the former resulting from an incident with the latter
33.) A 'Technicolor yawn' ...vomiting, barfing, throwing up, driving the porcelain bus, etc.
34.) Definitely the hills hoist ...swing sets were for losers, man.
35.) Friend. Better friend. Stranger with beer.
36.) Dinky-di, of course!


....now, what did I win?

Happy Oz day, ya flamin' galah's..
Reply #9 Top
Happy Aussie Day and congrats to you and the missus 26th year!!!
Reply #10 Top
Congratulations on the anniversary Jafo and the missus!

Hello Eric, nice to see you're still kicking. Miss the gab in IRC.
Reply #11 Top
A Hopoate is a disgraced rugby league player....but as he's a Kiwi and not a true blue, he brings no disgrace upon Oz or the greatest game ever played on a rugby field......the one who brought us most disgrace has caterpillar eyebrows and a penchant for aggravating to Aussie populace, spends alot of time in Canberra.

Good on ya...congrats on 26 years, Jafo!
Reply #12 Top
26.) Makybe Diva Go the Diva!!!

.... I always thought Cricket would be more interesting if a horse would coach the team.....


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Reply #13 Top

I always thought Cricket would be more interesting if a horse would coach the team

Troy Cooley is already on his way...

Reply #14 Top
[small thread hijack ~sorry Jafo]

Hello Eric, nice to see you're still kicking. Miss the gab in IRC


Ditto Hank...

..I'll be back again before too long. Lotsa things going on with the new job, keeping me very busy. Just can't seem to find the time at the mo'

Say g'day to the gang for me.
Reply #15 Top
[buzzh58]
Happy Aussie day Jafo and all other Aussies on the site. I mustve lived too long in Oz, I know most of the answers. Kill me now. Oi Oi Oi


Sadly I knew 70% of the answers buzz.. I wonder why
Reply #17 Top
Happy Oz day!! Congrats to you and your little Mrs!

Orright, That to bout cover it! Now grab a cold one and relax!

HOWDY ERIC!!! Nice to see you about!
Reply #18 Top
A little late, but Happy Aussie Day, and Happy Anniversary.
Love is the expansion of two natures in such fashion that each include the other, each is enriched by the other.
- Felix Adler