Magically gay
from 
JoeUser Forums
JoeUser Forums
I think it is now official. There can be no denying it. Just look at Hollywood and the media and it should be obvious.
Being homosexual confers upon you magical, mystical powers.
Homosexuality is the instant tool to elevate something from the blasé to the avant-garde. Take, for instance, tonight's Golden Globe awards. One of the front-runners in numerous categories is the acclaimed movie "Brokeback Mountain". Now, I haven't seen this movie, but I do know that every single time it was mentioned on CNN this morning it was touted as "the critically acclaimed movie about two gay cowboys". Now, take that same story, make one of the characters a woman (but leave everything else the same-they become close, part ways, each start their own families, but continue to struggle with their relationship) and I guarantee, the movie would flop.
Ah, but the gayness. That is the ticket right there.
Look elsewhere. I have only watched a few episodes of "Will and Grace", and found it pretty tedious and often unfunny. But some of the characters are homosexual! And so suddenly, a pedestrian show becomes a hot ticket. I promise you, no one this side of the Atlantic would have any idea who tATu was were it not for the suggestion of homo-eroticism in the group.
And so, I suggest to some of Hollywood's pre-eminent directors that they go back and make a few changes in some of their movies. The outpouring of love from the media and from critics will surely take these movies to new levels.
Peter Jackson - We all know "King Kong" was expensive, huge and over the top. However, it hasn't done nearly as well in the theaters as was expected or hoped. So, make the gorilla gay! Have Kong fall hopelessly in love with Jack Black's character, and carry him up to the top of the Empire State Building. Instant winner.
George Lucas - Imagine, on the scorched landscape of Mustafar, a grief stricken Obi-Wan yells out to Anakin "You were my lover!" rather than "You were my brother!". Throw in a subplot of a sordid love affair between the Jedi Knight and Master. Critics would fawn, the media would love it, and suddenly Lucas becomes, once again, one of the most visionary directors in Hollywood.
The list could go on and on. The media moguls continue to sensationalize homosexuality and the more vocal gay advocates press this mystical ability to the max. But I can't help but think that somewhere there are average, run-of-the-mill people, who happen to be homosexual, who are shaking their heads in frustration at the whole thing. After all, just as many of us who are heterosexual do not define ourselves by our sexuality, I have to believe there are many homosexual people who are the same. It isn't who they are, but simply a part of their lives.
But don't tell Hollywood. That makes being gay so much less sexy.
Being homosexual confers upon you magical, mystical powers.
Homosexuality is the instant tool to elevate something from the blasé to the avant-garde. Take, for instance, tonight's Golden Globe awards. One of the front-runners in numerous categories is the acclaimed movie "Brokeback Mountain". Now, I haven't seen this movie, but I do know that every single time it was mentioned on CNN this morning it was touted as "the critically acclaimed movie about two gay cowboys". Now, take that same story, make one of the characters a woman (but leave everything else the same-they become close, part ways, each start their own families, but continue to struggle with their relationship) and I guarantee, the movie would flop.
Ah, but the gayness. That is the ticket right there.
Look elsewhere. I have only watched a few episodes of "Will and Grace", and found it pretty tedious and often unfunny. But some of the characters are homosexual! And so suddenly, a pedestrian show becomes a hot ticket. I promise you, no one this side of the Atlantic would have any idea who tATu was were it not for the suggestion of homo-eroticism in the group.
And so, I suggest to some of Hollywood's pre-eminent directors that they go back and make a few changes in some of their movies. The outpouring of love from the media and from critics will surely take these movies to new levels.
Peter Jackson - We all know "King Kong" was expensive, huge and over the top. However, it hasn't done nearly as well in the theaters as was expected or hoped. So, make the gorilla gay! Have Kong fall hopelessly in love with Jack Black's character, and carry him up to the top of the Empire State Building. Instant winner.
George Lucas - Imagine, on the scorched landscape of Mustafar, a grief stricken Obi-Wan yells out to Anakin "You were my lover!" rather than "You were my brother!". Throw in a subplot of a sordid love affair between the Jedi Knight and Master. Critics would fawn, the media would love it, and suddenly Lucas becomes, once again, one of the most visionary directors in Hollywood.
The list could go on and on. The media moguls continue to sensationalize homosexuality and the more vocal gay advocates press this mystical ability to the max. But I can't help but think that somewhere there are average, run-of-the-mill people, who happen to be homosexual, who are shaking their heads in frustration at the whole thing. After all, just as many of us who are heterosexual do not define ourselves by our sexuality, I have to believe there are many homosexual people who are the same. It isn't who they are, but simply a part of their lives.
But don't tell Hollywood. That makes being gay so much less sexy.
