Mardy Bum
from 
JoeUser Forums
JoeUser Forums
I'm sat here in a miserable mood. Full of a cold, and basically just feeling sorry for myself. I always thought writing allowed you to reach people. My verbal communication skills maybe not be to crash hot, but when it came to putting pen to paper, finger to keyboard, I thought I came across quite well. Maybe you do when you don't sound like a broken record, but I seem to just make the same noises, about the same things, over and over again. It's like I just moan about the same things, and because I don't change them things, I just continue to moan. Life can be crap, and the only thing I hate more than that is the people who moan life is crap. So what's going on with me? Well....I have itchy feet to be honest. I am reachng breaking point with the mundane day to day life. I want to travel, I want to see the world, I want to have adventure. I want stories to tell my Grand kids. I have always been against having a 9-5, not just because I'm a lazy so and so, but because there is so much more to life than waking up everyday, and doing what needs must. That's my idea of hell, waking up and hating everyday, and doing everything because you have too. Grrr....the question is, what to do? What would make me happy? I think I need to detox from life. I think I need to get away from all the material distractions, and reach out of my comfort zone, and be uncomfortable for a while. Do some living, get some stories to tell, instead of sitting moaning about everyday bloody life.
On another note, I sometimes think I would be happy to settle down and have a nice family life, but then I think I'm just full of shit. When my niece was born, I was truely touched. For the first time I found out what unconditional love was. To want to do anything to protect this little thing, to get excited about a first word, a first step. To want to be there every step of the way. I love my niece more than anything in the world. I think one day I would make a great Mummy, just not yet. There is also another flaw in that plan. To have a baby u need a sperm doner, and not really just that, you need to someone you love, someone known as Daddy. I want to love, and in my life I've only really ever met one man that has rocked my world. In all honesty, he can be a real jerk at times, so I don't really know where that leaves me. Because in many ways I believe he is my soulmate. I connnect with him better than anyone. He understands me better anyway, he is capable of cheering me up when no one else can. There are so many good things about him, but still he is a jerk. So maybe that should lead me to question my taste in men? It doesn't though, because if he wasn't a jerk I don't think I'd love him, it's the full package. Many people can say there is plenty of fish in the sea. I don't buy that, there maybe more people out there, there maybe some you get on with, there maybe some who are special, but there isn't going to many, if any, you completely connect with. I personally think matters of the heart are a stroke of luck. That you will stumble upon people that somehow breakdown your barriers, and there they stay. Unmoving.
You know when you know you're acting irrational, and you can feel it. There's a loud voice shouting in your head to stop. Yet you can't. I think it's more a female hormonal imbalance. That's the frame of mind I'm in at the moment. I'm at war with the world, or at least I am at the moment. You could tell me about cute lil bunny rabbits, and I'd still find something wrong with them, pooey, smelly creatures, ha! I watch this show on the BBC called Grumpy old women. Who sit and moan about everyday things. At least they have age as an excuse. I'm only twenty-two and I am a whingy old sod. Maybe I am the reverse and when I hit middle age I will get a sudden influx of lust for life. I'll be sky diving at 100. LOL....now there's a thought. I think if I lose my sense of humour, then we really may have problems, hehe.
On another note, I sometimes think I would be happy to settle down and have a nice family life, but then I think I'm just full of shit. When my niece was born, I was truely touched. For the first time I found out what unconditional love was. To want to do anything to protect this little thing, to get excited about a first word, a first step. To want to be there every step of the way. I love my niece more than anything in the world. I think one day I would make a great Mummy, just not yet. There is also another flaw in that plan. To have a baby u need a sperm doner, and not really just that, you need to someone you love, someone known as Daddy. I want to love, and in my life I've only really ever met one man that has rocked my world. In all honesty, he can be a real jerk at times, so I don't really know where that leaves me. Because in many ways I believe he is my soulmate. I connnect with him better than anyone. He understands me better anyway, he is capable of cheering me up when no one else can. There are so many good things about him, but still he is a jerk. So maybe that should lead me to question my taste in men? It doesn't though, because if he wasn't a jerk I don't think I'd love him, it's the full package. Many people can say there is plenty of fish in the sea. I don't buy that, there maybe more people out there, there maybe some you get on with, there maybe some who are special, but there isn't going to many, if any, you completely connect with. I personally think matters of the heart are a stroke of luck. That you will stumble upon people that somehow breakdown your barriers, and there they stay. Unmoving.
You know when you know you're acting irrational, and you can feel it. There's a loud voice shouting in your head to stop. Yet you can't. I think it's more a female hormonal imbalance. That's the frame of mind I'm in at the moment. I'm at war with the world, or at least I am at the moment. You could tell me about cute lil bunny rabbits, and I'd still find something wrong with them, pooey, smelly creatures, ha! I watch this show on the BBC called Grumpy old women. Who sit and moan about everyday things. At least they have age as an excuse. I'm only twenty-two and I am a whingy old sod. Maybe I am the reverse and when I hit middle age I will get a sudden influx of lust for life. I'll be sky diving at 100. LOL....now there's a thought. I think if I lose my sense of humour, then we really may have problems, hehe.