NightTrainthedark NightTrainthedark

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Reply #126 from WinCustomize Forums Top
I can't fathom what you are going through Starkers. No hijack, this is what the thread is for. Please keep us informed.
Reply #127 from WinCustomize Forums Top
No doubt. I had seen starkers in other threads and restrained myself from asking how things were going. Hang in there Starkers, not that I agree with her running off, but they grow up too fast for their own good. Just let her know how you feel is all you can do. I'll keep you and yours in my mind and heart.
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Reply #128 from WinCustomize Forums Top
"We're building up and tearing down,
In everything we do.
Are you on the construction gang,
Or on the wrecking crew?"

"In A World That
Couldn't Care Less
We Are To Be People
Who Couldn't Care More."

"Never look down on anybody, unless your helping them up.
Reply #129 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Well, I hesitated on commenting about this Starkers, but maybe it will help. I remember waking up in the middle of the night to my parents crying; often. My sister often ran away and had a very troublesome youth. I do not need to go into it all, but many of her decisions brought about a rough life for herself. I bring it up, because after a time, her favorite saying was "when you hit the end of the road, go straight". She wised up to this world and became a solid pillar in the community. A woman of faith, and one that people craved to be around.

If you make any mistakes with your daughter, make them on the side of compassion. She will come around in the end.
Reply #130 from WinCustomize Forums Top
If you make any mistakes with your daughter, make them on the side of compassion. She will come around in the end.


You can't say it any better than this.
Reply #131 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Some Good News

My wife went into town to lodge the aforementioned restraint order and accidentally ran into Tanka in the mall afterwards.
BTW...Tanka is the nickname we use for her and is a play on letters in her actual name.

Anyway, some positive dialogue developed and there's more promise of her return home, sooner rather than later. The main thing is that she had the sense to approach an organisation that helps with homeless and runaway kids, and she's staying at one of their hostels, rather than in much less desirable circumstances. Even more pleasing, that she's not with the trash who enticed/encouraged her to leave home in the first place.

Pheeeeew, what a relief, to know for sure she is safe and well....though it's not over just yet. Although Tanka is saying that she needs more time to sort herself out, we are of the firm belief that she's holding out on coming home to see if this guy will contact her regarding the future of their relationship. That, however, just isn't going to happen! Apart from the restraint order being served today, the thought of singing soprano for the rest of his life must be a sure fire deterrent.

To cut a long story short, this person is the 'near' 30 yo brother of her 'so-called' best friend...someone who encouraged and facilitated secretive meetings between them, with full knowledge of our complete disapproval and opposition to it all. Naturally, the restraint order includes the sister and all his agents.


If you make any mistakes with your daughter, make them on the side of compassion. She will come around in the end.


I'm not too sure Tanka will see our efforts as compassionate or a mistake, more like deliberate interference, but I'm sure she'll eventually see the sense and reasoning of it to eventually forgive us and be thankful.....and I'm big enough, strong enough and ugly enough to ride out any bitterness and resentment that may arise in the meantime.

"Never look down on anybody, unless your helping them up.


Now isn't that a wonderful thought/saying! ....and it surely applies in this situation with Tanka. We'll stoop to help raise her up, but not to put her down. On the other hand, it's hard to look up to the person who largely created the situation.

One again, sincere thanks to all who have offered kind, supportive and encouraging words, you're all great people.
Reply #133 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Update

Another step in the right direction, Tanka rang her mother earlier and wants to meet with her in town tomorrow to talk some more. My wife said that Tanka seemed to be testing the waters over the phone, sounding somewhat home sick and asking about her dog and personal effects, etc. We're hoping this is the beginning of the end of it all, fingers crossed, because she came across as being more receptive and willing to open up.
However, she did express some concern that I'm going to go ballistic at her over it all, so I'll not be at the meeting, initially, so as not to overwhelm or make her feel intimidated from word go, and to give my wife the opportunity to reassure her that just isn't going to happen. Hopefully that is accomplished so it can eventually become a productive, 3 way conversation.

It does bother me that Tanka fears me going ballistic at her, being that I never have....but then I guess she figures that she's never pushed the boundaries this far before, and is unsure of how I'll react.

Oh well, it'll all come out in the wash and return to normal fairly soon
Reply #134 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Sounds very positive, Starkers
Reply #135 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Update

The meeting came to fruition but bore no fruit.

The sister of that guy was there....
refused to leave a private discussion...
counteracted everything positive with a negative...
vehemently disputing our care and concern...

Essentially, she sabotaged the whole thing....everything positive that had been achieved. Tanka took off with her instead....we're back to square one.
Reply #136 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Oh my, I am so sorry! My hearts breaks for you...................

I pray for intervention to bring you all together again
and make you and your family whole!

Know this family, at WC, holds you and yours up in prayer and thought!
Reply #137 from WinCustomize Forums Top
BAH! HUMBUG!

Grand Raspberries to all and to all - a good tommorrow or day or whatever!
Reply #138 from WinCustomize Forums Top
[Cynder-Elluh]
Oh my, I am so sorry! My hearts breaks for you...................


Thanks so much, Cynder, your thoughts are much appreciated.


Know this family, at WC, holds you and yours up in prayer and thought!


I do....if it wasn't for the wonderful people here, I'd have gone out of my cotton-pickin' mind a while back.

We have learnt the guy is setting up interstate and will send for Tanka at a later date, via his sister....believing that, as a resident of another State, he can circumvent State laws and the restraint order.
He's wrong....the restraint order is effective nationwide, as are the laws regarding minors. Action can and will be taken now.....we are awaiting a return call from the detectives to confirm what that will be. Hanging is appropriate!...Tanka was never this defiant, anti-authority or troublesome until this pair sunk their claws in and began manipulating her.

Tanka won't like it, but it's possible she will now be made a Ward of the State, although placed with us, and subject to curfews and other restrictions, for her own protection. We did try to tell her.....

I'm finding it increasingly difficult to concentrate and will take time out from posting for a while...unless there is positive news.
Reply #139 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Starkers:
I am truly sorry to hear the development of your anguish. It is heart-breaking to hear such news at this time of year especially, when the family should be as one.

You mention the bloke she's...nevermind, I finished reading #138 whilst typing away. I do hope this situation comes to an end without harm to your step-daughter.

Please keep us informed, Starkers, I will be here for you and I'm sure there are a multitude of others with hope and prayer for you and yours.
Reply #140 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Sorry things didn't go as hoped Starkers.

This thread took a turn for the worst. Maybe some puppies will cheer it up.
Reply #141 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Reply #142 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Starkers-- even if you are not posting, I hope you are looking in from time to time. You, your wife and your daughter are in my prayers.
Take care.
Reply #143 from WinCustomize Forums Top
The last three posts on the first page made my day
Reply #145 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Starkers-- even if you are not posting, I hope you are looking in from time to time. You, your wife and your daughter are in my prayers.


Thank you aimzzz, my wife and I appreciate your thoughts and prayers....as we do everyone elses. My wife has commented on how nice you all are and thinks you're all top people.

There's no real news as yet, the authorities are sitting on their hands mostly, and we are trying to put a rocket into them with constant pressure to act. The restraint order was served 2 weeks after it was issued, but it seems to have had little effect as yet. Hopefully it will soon and Tanka feels the need to come home to the love, care and support that is awaiting her.