9/30/05...
I’ve been irresponsibly lax in doing what is needed to get healthier…causing setbacks. I’ve been arrogant; blaming others for my faults and inability to cope with my health issues. I’ve been a fool.
The increase in stress has only caused me more health problems; my heart has enlarged more, and my pulmonary hypertension has become worse. I can’t be so stubborn , blind and logically inept. I can’t let it continue; I won’t let it continue. I have bigger problems. I’m done with it. Hopefully I will be able to, as a result, get back on track,, be healthier, and nicer.
I apologize for my childish and foolish actions. I am no longer going to ‘rebuild’/ ‘defend’ myself…its just too dang stressful…and stupid…
If I do happen, ‘god willing I don’t’, to stumble and fall back into my old routine, well (to borrow a term); “Crack that whip!” Remind me, or kick my butt back into gear…