Explanations and excuses

from JoeUser Forums

The Principal called me with an explanation about what happened with Davey's teacher; why she said the things that she said.

Apparently the teacher was in tears in the principal's office.  She admitted saying those things, but said that she was trying to use the situation as a teaching opportunity....she was trying to explain to the kids that next year they would be in middle school and that they were going to have to be more responsible.  That they couldn't have their parent's fight their battles for them.

I said that I didn't care that she was trying to utilize the circumstance, I still didn't think it was appropriate to say ANY of those things to kids.  Period.  As for my not fighting battles for my son...well, that's my job as his mom.  To advocate for him, and to fight for him if need be.  Yes, he's going to be going to middle school next year, but right now he's still in elementary school and he doesn't deserve to be berated and mocked like that.  I said that obviously I understood her using situations and teaching opportunities because I do the same thing, but....there's a difference between letting a child find out for themselves the consequences of their actions, and rubbing their noses in their mistakes.  This teacher did the latter. 

I told the principal that Davey's now afraid that he's going to get poor grades because of his teacher's animosity towrds him and me both.  She had nominated him for student of the month before all this happened; he's afraid that now she's "mad" at him she'll start being hard on him.  The principal said that she didn't think that would happen, but that she'd be monitoring the class and the teacher anyway.

She also told me that the kids don't get 15 minutes to eat; that if they're not done with their lunch they can stay until they're full.  I asked if the kids knew that, if the lunchladies made that clear....because the last time I was there for lunch, the ladies supervising the lunchroom made the kids who were slower eaters feel like crap.  They called them 'pokey" and acted like they were a real inconvienience.  What kid is going to want to be made to feel like that in front of his/her peers?  I said that I was going to tell my son that if he wasn't done eating and the lunchladies started hassling him to hurry up and get out, he was to tell them that the principal said he could stay there until he was done - and that if they made fun of him, called him "pokey" or otherwise gave him grief he was to immediately go to the office, ask to call me, and then tell the principal.  I'm not going to let some lunch room nazi treat my kid and his friends like that, period. 

So, the teacher's being monitored and the lunchroom situation is somewhat under control.  I can't say that we've come to a satisfactory resolution, because as far as I'm concerned nothing has been resolved.  The teacher made an excuse for her words and her attitude, and I've said that there WAS no excuse.  We're at a stalemate.  I'm not happy about it, but....I'm going to put these incidents in my back pocket and sit on them for a while.  Next time this happens.....well.....there had better not be a 'next time'. 

There had better NOT be a next time.

 

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3,554 views 8 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
long ago in a land far away. {nyc} A teacher made me cry, I went home crying {was 8} big brother made sure to see teacher after school, drove his point home with teacher in no uncertain terms. never happened again of course this was 1954 when people could hold teachers accountable for their actions and not get sued.
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
I made my point, MM. If there is a 'next time', I'm going to make myself the biggest pain in the ass this school district has ever seen.  I don't like threatening people with legal action, but if his teacher ever speaks to the kids like that again I'm going to see if there's any chance of criminal chrages being bought against her.
Galactic Civilizations III
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
Reply By: dharmagrlPosted: Sunday, September 25, 2005I made my point, MM. If there is a 'next time', I'm going to make myself the biggest pain in the ass this school district has ever seen. I don't like threatening people with legal action, but if his teacher ever speaks to the kids like that again I'm going to see if there's any chance of criminal chrages being bought against her.


good fer you D, nothing quite like a momma protecting her brood.
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
Nothing more frightening than a mother scorned.

~Zoo
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
It doesn't sound perfect, but glad to hear things will be monitored. Most teachers I know are excellent educators and treat their students well...unfortunately, there are a few who do try to intimidate, scare, and belittle...like someone else said, it's sort of a power trip to them. Those are the types of teachers who need to give a second thought to the field they are in. If children are such a nuisance/bother/irritation to them, well, they don't belong in our profession. It just gives us all a bad name. No teacher has perfect days everyday in his/her classroom, and when we don't, it needs to be handled with professionalism and a bit of patience, not by taking it out on the students.
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
I'd say it's a fairly diplomatic answer. Probably not exactly what you wanted to hear, but diplomatic.

First...it's the beginning of the year. I'd be giving the responsibility speeches a little bit later in the year to these kids. Keep them on schedule and you won't have to release them late.

It's hard to be a parent...to walk the line between being "meddling" and "supportive." Kids' parents need to support them in middle school, too. Where is she getting this?

And if I were Davey's teacher...I'd be crying that I made a ninny of myself, too. As for you, I'd write down on paper the events that have happened. If you write it down and date it, it becomes a legal document. Just a thought.
Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top

Nothing more frightening than a mother scorned.

nothing quite like a momma protecting her brood.

Hehehe...that's right!  Us mommas get pretty nasty when it comes to protecting our young uns!

Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top
Most teachers I know are excellent educators and treat their students well...unfortunately, there are a few who do try to intimidate, scare, and belittle...like someone else said, it's sort of a power trip to them.


I know some awesome teachers. Davey's TaG teacher last year was fantastic. She lets the kids do pretty much what they wanted, but she also enforced consequences. They all learned pretty quick that doing the right thing was the best way to go....and she never had to lecture them. This chick this year seems to be all about rules and enforcing the fact that it's HER classroom, and none of the kids I've spoken to care for her much. Neither do I, thus far.

As for you, I'd write down on paper the events that have happened. If you write it down and date it, it becomes a legal document. Just a thought.


Done. I have all the emails, notes about phone calls (dates, time and basic summaries of the conversations) and notes about what the kids complained about and when. I don't want it to come to legal action; I look at that as a last resort and it's going to take something extraordinary to make me want to pursue that.....but it never hurts to have documentation, just in case.

It's hard to be a parent...to walk the line between being "meddling" and "supportive." Kids' parents need to support them in middle school, too. Where is she getting this?


I dunno. It's my job as a mom to advocate for my kids. If I think that they're fighting a battle that's out of their league, then I'm going to step in and assist. I don't get involved in their fights with their peers, that kind of stuff is all on them (unless there's been some physical violence, then I'll interfere). I'm also not the kind of mom who complains about how my child couldn't possibly have done whatever the teacher is accusing them of and who doesn't deserve detention. If they misbehaved, then they are deserving of some kind of punishment. This, however...this is a whole different ball of wax. This teacher is (IMO) using her position of authority to speak to the kids in a way that's totally inapproppriate. the kids won't say anything to her about it, because they don't feel it's their place to (and it's not). I, on the other hand, can, and will.

I'm not meddling. I'm simply making sure that my kid is being treated fairly.