Being Single Sucks

I agree, but sometimes you can be lonely in a room full of people, know what I mean?

Give it time. You sound like a believer so in the vein let me say that God has someone in mind for you. He created us to have a significant other...He didn't like to see Adam alone, it was not "good." So He sure isn't going to let you stay single.

There is a book called, "Falling in Love with Jesus" I thought the title was corny but my single best friends recommended it. I read it and since I am married it didn't really "speak" to me, but it really seems to hit a chord with all the single women in my life. They rave about it. It is written by Stormie Obrien (I am 99% sure). And it talks about just what you have described.....waiting for that void to be filled. Knowing God is brining him to you, but the lonliness while waiting.

Hang in there. He is on his way to you. Believe it.

Peace.

Tenille...I love you...but...you're too picky.

PS - I'm jealous that you have a fabulous job and a fabulous house and a fabulous figure.

being single is a must prelude to not being single. how's that for confusian thought?

Give it time

This is the tough part.

Thank you so much for the kind words of encouragement. Sometimes we know the truth, it just doesn't sink in. I'll look into the book, although I've read my share of "singles" self-help titles.

fabulous figure

Have you seen me lately?

And yes, I am too picky. My standards are slowly slipping!

Tenille:

Have you seen me lately?

Nope, but you'd have a hard time convincing me that you look anything less than fabulous.

And yes, I am too picky. My standards are slowly slipping!

Hahahahahaha...hey, I have a sweet, loyal Army guy for ya. He's a stout but cuddly Pacific Islander who owns a very large truck, can spear fish, and is an excellent cook.

Hehe.

You know what? You pretty much summed up what I felt like for the first 22 years of my life. As I got older, everyone was pairing off and it often felt like I was the only single person on earth. I wanted for someone to just "get" me, you know?

And now I'm part of a pair. I think that as single people we really delude ourselves when we come up with that "fairy tale" mentality--I'm not saying you do it...I know I did though. The things I dreamed aren't really the way they are. Those naps are nice, but neither of us have fresh breath afterwards. The movies? Holding hands? I have to beg him to touch me most days.

It's frustrating being single...I agree. But looking back...maybe it wasn't so bad, you know? Thank you for sharing your thoughts on your singleness...you really hit the nail on the head.

You sound very comfortable in your own skin and very content for the most part with your life...It's only natural to feel lonely sometimes when you are single...I went through that plenty myself.

being single is a must prelude to not being single

Moderate,  you da man!

Nope, but you'd have a hard time convincing me that you look anything less than fabulous.

Well, she does look less than fabulous, but not much.  Oh, and I really don't think she's that picky.  I just think guys are intimidated by her and her inexperience (of late) inhibits her from taking first steps.

I think that as single people we really delude ourselves when we come up with that "fairy tale" mentality--

No, that's not true.  Fairy tales exist, you just may have missed yours.

I have to beg him to touch me most days.

I'm sorry fo ya!  That's a very depressing thing to hear!  But it doesn't have to be that way.

Trinitie

p.s.  If your questioning my experience and trying to validate my thoughts, just know that I'm a 42 year old woman who's been happily married for years, and my husband absolutely LOVES to touch me. 

Trinitie

contentment seems to be just outside my reach.

You know why?  Because contentment isn't what ANYONE should be searching for.   Contentment should be the least of your worries; finding contentment in life is what makes people miserable, it's stops growth and searching, which is the key to happiness!  Happiness is your new assignment, ok?

Acceptance causes hope to fade.

That is does, so don't do it!

When I continue holding out for something more, I find myself disillusioned and disappointed.

Don't stop holding out, just search harder.  Geez, I wish you as smart as me!

Trinitie

 

I wanted for someone to just "get" me, you know?

Wouldn't that be nice? This is the longing of my heart. Having someone who just "gets" me.

You sound very comfortable in your own skin

I wish this were true. Insecurity creates about 99% of my loneliness. Perhaps someday my skin will feel like a nice pair of comfy sweat pants!

 

GGRRR FIST! This is what happens when your little sister is logged onto your PC and you use her name to reply to your own blog! The above comment was actually mine!

Geez, I wish you as smart as me

Don't we all Trin. Don't we all . . .

Fairy tales exist, you just may have missed yours

Perhaps I have missed mine.

Well, she does look less than fabulous, but not much

Thanks for the vote of confidence punk!

When all else seems to be going well, we tend to focus on "fixing" that which doesn't seem up to par with the rest of our life. However, in doing so, we forget to pay attention to all of the things that are going well and make us happy.

It's certainly proper to try to expand your happiness and successes into areas that feel inadequate, however, it helps to focus on the things that are good, and use those to leverage improvements in the less stellar areas.

It's like the anecdotal stories people seem to frequently tell where they meet someone and fall in love in spite of the fact that they weren't looking for it. Chances are they were focused on themself, and that made them a brighter person to those surrounding. (Note that I said focused on themself, not selfish or self-absorbed.)

Being single sucks sometimes, but sometimes it's just the time alone you need to bulk up your own faculties.

Single for 2.5 years and counting (I have a lot of work to do)

I'm guessing that the "Preface" may have been addressed to me, and I'm not worried. I think, T, that you will never find contentment. I agree with Trin (sort of) that contentment isn't what anyone should be looking for, striving for, wishing for. You've got to just learn to BE content where you currently are. We have such a misguided understanding of contentment, equating it with happiness and security and safety and stability. Trust me, finding someone or something to fill your void will not make life wonderful. We can't possibly find contentment in someone or something, at least not for very long. Not a deep and lasting contentment. And I'm afraid that we don't "accept" life on it's terms, we "surrender" on it's terms, and that is what causes hope to fail. May you BE content, and FIND peace.

And it is always my pleasure to help you, anyway I can.

B~

I agree with Trin (sort of)

You've got to be kidding me . . .

I truly appreciate your insight Bruce. Trin and I both love you because we appreciate who you were and who you are today. Perhaps we will both morph a little as time passes.

Single for 2.5 years and counting

I've definitely got you beat bro., but thanks for sharing your thoughts.

"being single sucks"

then be double, or even triple

Trinitie

then be double, or even triple

You are so darn clever! Why didn't I think of that?

then be double, or even triple

Sounds kinky.

We have right only on the work but no right on the fruit thereof. Without the crave for getting the fruit we have to work hard irrespective of whether fruit goes to someone else's share. Be equal-minded in getting or losing. God is teaching us to be unselfish, i.e. selflessness. Greed is that void you mention which is in all of us which we have to discard with efforts.

We have right only on the work but no right on the fruit thereof

Huh? You lost me.

Greed is that void you mention which is in all of us which we have to discard with efforts

Effort you say? Is that all it takes?

Wow, if Bruce didn't contradict himself over and over again in his post I am not sure what he did. You say that a person should not strive for contentment but yet Tenille should to "Be content with where she currently is". I hate to tell you but you should never learn to be content with where you currently are. Life is about growing and adapting and becoming more and more like Christ every day. Tenille I hope that you never find contentment, I hope that every single day you wake up longing for something more in life. That every single day you ask God for more and more and more of what he might have planned for you. The day that you wake up and are content with anything is the day that you will stop growing and you will become stagnant within your faith and your walk.

Then to go a step further within Bruce's post to where he says "finding someone to fill your void will not make your life wonderful" I have to say that is a crock as well. There is something beautiful and amazing and yes "wonderful" about finding that person that you are going to spend the rest of your life with. Finding that someone that is going to complete you and enter into a union before God and everyone to become one with you is an amazing thing and will make your life "wonderful". The desire would not be in your heart to have that companionship if God did not plan on you having it therefore I have a hard time believing that your life is just as good without it as it will be with it. Meeting that person who will challenge you and push you every single day to become more like Christ is (to me) one of the greatest parts about this life, getting to grow closer and closer to someone as you both continue to grow closer to Christ.

Keep your chin up Tenille you have always been one of the most amazing and beautiful people that I know. When the time is right God will let you know who you are to be with. Until then just keep allowing him to prepare you for that lucky guy that will get to spend the rest of his life with you!