Dharma has a meltdown

from JoeUser Forums

After weeks of tension and strain, I finally let it all out and had a full-on meltdown last night.

I don't even recall what set it off.  I think it was something Dave said. 

I told everyone that I was going to go have a tantrum, went back to our bedroom, shut and locked the door and proceeded to throw things.  I yelled, I screamed, and I threw.  Candles, pictures in frames, books...I was somewhat selective and I left the irreplaceable stuff alone, but anything else was fair game.

I never realized the sound of breaking glass could be so theraputic  (I busted a couple of dollar-store picture frames), or that yelling out your frustrations really does help you let go of them.

After I was done, I was exhausted.  I sat on the floor next to the bed, crying for about half an hour...then I picked up the worst of the mess I had made, swept up the broken glass, and Dave and I went to bed.

This morning, I can think clearly again.  All the tension and anger and resentment that I'd been feeling is gone.  I feel SO much better......I can actually be objective about things instead of being angry about them.

I had a meltdown, and it felt really fucking good.

misc
6,154 views 16 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
forum bump....(sorry, tex!)....
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
Sounds like the break down was much needed. Are you okay? If you need to talk, sign onto yahoo messenger and im me!! (it's the same screen name as my e mail). Funny thing is, plate breaking has been an easy source of cheap therapy dating all the way back to my great grandma...hehe...and we're not even Greek! I must admit, breaking things is a great way to burn off steam!!!
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Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
Are you okay? If you need to talk, sign onto yahoo messenger and im me!! (it's the same screen name as my e mail).


I'm okay, I think. I have messenger open, I'll drop you a line in a while...

Breaking things is incredibly theraputic. I used to go target shoot when I got stressed like this, but there something about the physical action of throwing an object that I really dig...more so than pulling a trigger.

I think the next time I go to the thrift store or a yard sale I'm going to buy some old plates and keep a box of them in the shed.....so that if I ever feel the need to have a meltdown again I'll have some ammo on hand.
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
For me personally, throwing and breaking things makes it worse because then I feel like I've completely lost control. I feel bad that I've created a mess that I now have to clean up, and also I've usually broken something that while held no importance before I tossed it, now has became the Holy Grail in my mind and I BROKE IT!

I'm jealous that it works for you!
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
Glad you got it out.

I don't know about breaking things though. We've got a simple rule in place for fights like these. You break it, you fix it or replace it.

I stopped hitting big heavy objects after I had to fix the door on the dryer, and pound the dents out of the door on the fridge, and my wife's mostly pretty much stopped putting holes in the drywall.

Meh.....I find long long runs help.........sometimes.
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
Sounds more lilke a release than a meltdown.  ANd they can be very therapeutic.
Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top

I feel bad that I've created a mess that I now have to clean up, and also I've usually broken something that while held no importance before I tossed it, now has became the Holy Grail in my mind and I BROKE IT!

I had wondered how I'd feel afterwards, and whilst I have a slight twinge of regret, for the most part I feel pretty good about what I did.

Meh.....I find long long runs help.........sometimes.

Can't run right now...can't do much of anything right now.  

 

Sounds more lilke a release than a meltdown.

It was....and it felt GOOD!!!!!!

Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top
whewwwwwww......... good work D, no one was damaged or got killed, all together a successful meltdown,

MM holds D and whispers in her ear.. good for you hon.
Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top

but a good long cry might be in the works.....

Go ahead, my love.  Let it all out...do you feel like talking?

Reply #10 from JoeUser Forums Top

good work D, no one was damaged or got killed, all together a successful meltdown,

I didn't want to hurt anyone, MM.  I NEEDED to get it out.  My boy Davey told me afterwards that he got a bit scared, but that he understood why I did it.  I locked the door specifically so that Dave couldn't come in; he'd have tried to stop me and that would have made things worse.

MM holds D and whispers in her ear.. good for you hon.

Aww..see, you made me get all teary with that.  Thank you though, Elie.

Reply #11 from JoeUser Forums Top

I locked the door specifically so that Dave couldn't come in; he'd have tried to stop me and that would have made things worse.

We may be dense and abtuse at times, but we usually do know when to butt out and let things happen.

Reply #12 from JoeUser Forums Top
It is good to see people loving love and hating hate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Reply #13 from JoeUser Forums Top
Aww..see, you made me get all teary with that. Thank you though, Elie.


if your emotions are so near the surface D, you might need to get some more out. glad I made ya feel my cyberhug.


elie
Reply #14 from JoeUser Forums Top

It is good to see people loving love and hating hate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you for you comment.

We may be dense and abtuse at times, but we usually do know when to butt out and let things happen.

We talked about it today and he asked me if I felt better.....I said that I did and that I was glad he didn't stop me.

 

if your emotions are so near the surface D, you might need to get some more out. glad I made ya feel my cyberhug.

Yeah, they're pretty raw right now.  There's a lot of stuff going on....things are verging towards overwhelming.

Reply #15 from JoeUser Forums Top
if your emotions are so near the surface D, you might need to get some more out. glad I made ya feel my cyberhug.

Yeah, they're pretty raw right now. There's a lot of stuff going on....things are verging towards overwhelming.


I make the same offer you made me.. if you ever want a mans ear to bend on the evils of men in general,, I am here.
Reply #16 from JoeUser Forums Top
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((K))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Glad it helped ya feel better. So long as it's your own stuff you're breaking, I say go for it. Had an ex who broke stuff... but MY stuff. He'd get angry with me (generally unjustifiably so) and then proceed to take whatever he thought I considered precious and demolish it. Nice guy, that.