Monster-in-Law...well sort of...

from JoeUser Forums
I used to be scared of Brandon's mom, well I have replaced that fear with the burning dislike of a thousands suns. I am done being scared of that woman. Now I intend to do whatever I can to spite her.

Saturday comes and I'm supposed to go see Brandon seeing how its his last day, becasue he was leaving on Sunday. The (can't say what i really think) woman wakes him up and says that shes up and decided to leave today. Even though I heard her tell him a few days prior that they were leaving on Sunday. She wouldn't even wait until I got there to say goodbye...nothing...nada. I don't think I've ever been that angry at a single person in my entire life. Right now I'm resisting to say that I hate her and some other flowery word choices which is what I was doing on the phone with brandon on saturday. I never cuss in front of brandon but i was on Saturday.

I know that she has done whatever the hell she could do to break us up and keep us apart. But i never thought she would pull this shit. I was wrong. She wants some goody goody Baptist girl whos prettier smarter and well more baptist than me. She won't even admit it. Puhleez. All I can say is that I'm not afraid of her anymore, but maybe she should be afraid of me...
3,159 views 9 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
Killing people is a no-no. And no matter what you do, she's going to be there.

You can deal. And she'll learn to accept you in time. Just hang in there and remember who you're in the relationship with.

I'm Lutheran, and she dealt with it sooner or later.
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
Personally, I've never had a problem with her....of course I've only met her a few times. Whatever you do, try not to go nuts on her....as Al said, with time she'll learn to accept you. If not, then that's her problem.

Take a deep breath....and relax....or try to.

~Zoo
Ashes of the Singularity II
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
Girlfriends always think that their boyfriends mothers are trying to break them up. Most of the time, that's not the case. We're just not going to run our family time around you. In this case you acted as if she decided to leave just to spite you, and that probably wasn't so.

Look at it from her point of view: you guys are young still, so young that you're still in school. You might think that you're going to last forever, but his mother sees it differently. She probably doesn't dislike you, she just thinks that her boy shouldn't be getting tied down this early in his life and isn't going to encourage him to do just that.

Respect is a two way street. She's going to know that you don't care for her by the way you act around her (and he's probably said something about it too), so she's simply reacting to that. If you quit being resentful and try to be friendly with her too I think that you'll see a difference in her attitude towards you.
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
Sage advice, Dharma. Hope the added perspective helps.
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
I'm going to toss in the perspective here of someone who isn't all that much older than you, and whose mom seemingly was trying to nay-say my past relationships.

First off, it's a pretty big misconception that moms hate or actively work against the girlfriends of their sons, that they disapprove or whatever. Judging from my experiences and those of my friends growing up, it's the girl's parents who are the disapproving/scheming ones, they just don't trust those dirty evil boys. To his mom, you are a high school romance, which carries little more weight to the average adult than a standard friendship. As a result you do not enter into family plans, and if things change at the drop of a hat, you're not a considered entity. This is not out of spite, it's just that you are not a core part of the family by a long shot and don't get that consideration.

Secondly, despite everything you may want to believe now about parents being clueless or not understanding what you're feeling/thinking, they actually do have a pretty good grasp on things and have the added advantage of wisdom and experience. What you know at 18 is vastly different from what you know at 40... Hell, I'm only 23 and what I know and understand now is hugely different from what I did when I was just 18. When a parent says something like "Oh, it's only a high school sweetheart" or makes reference to it just being a short fling or minor relationship, they're speaking from experience. You may think you'll be with your HS boyfriend forever and ever and ever, but the reality is that you probably won't be. This isn't an attempt for parents to rain on your parade, they're just trying to help, trying to soften the blow when things do go sour. They're trying to help you keep things in the proper perspective.

You're still at that point where you think when bad or unpleasant things happen, that they're being done TO YOU. They're not. Most people honestly don't care enough to do something like move a day early just to spite one person. In this case they were probably just ready to go, so from her perspective, why wait?

I want you to come back to this article (and similar ones) in 5 years time. Reread what you've been writing, what you've been thinking and feeling. You'll understand things a heck of a lot better, and probably wouldn't be as quick to discard dissenting advice (as I'm sure you're going to do as a knee-jerk reaction right now).
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
Hang in there Sarah! I'm sure things will get better all in good time.

~carebear~
Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top
it'll all turn out good in the end Sarah... just hang in there, she'll come around. when she does she'll see that your a great person and your great with brandon.
acgirl
Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top
Of course you haven't any problems with her Shaun and Alex hello? Youre male.
Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top
Well, this probably won't help you at all but...Sarah, she is a really nice person! I've known her all my life and I know that she is human and has a good and bad side like all of us! There are probably times she feels that you hate her(I'm not saying that you don't, but...) when you might not and you may just be in a bad mood that day. Just remember that she is human to and we humans don't always like every person that comes our way!

~Band Girl~