Mom, I want an Abortion!! Part Two

the flip side

from JoeUser Forums
After the recent flury of responses, (thank you!!) on my last article on parental notification in minor's seeking an abortion. Link I decided to put another question to the test.

Do parents have the right to force a minor to carry a pregnancy to term rather than get an abortion?
Please assume for simplicity that the girl made a poor decision and was not molested or abused. The parents are perfectly competent parents and there is no reason to remove the child legally.
2,669 views 17 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
If the home environment is fine, then yes, the parents should be able to make that decision.
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
I would say yes as well...if parents are in charge of a minor's medical care...then they can force her.

Can you force the revolver out of your 6 year old's hand? Yes. And any parent would. Because that's what's BEST for the child. A pregnant teenager isn't necessarily capable of making the wisest choice. Granted...some teenagers are better at good choices than adults are, too...

I would think that for most women there's fewer emotional repercussions with having the child than with aborting the child. If you abort that baby, there's no going back. If you keep a child or give it up for adoption, there's some kind of chance to make things right. Does that make sense? I realize I'm an idealist...
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Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
"Force a minor to carry a pregnancy to term" ...

I've never heard of someone being forced not to kill their children before. "Yes, your honor, I admit I forced Ms. Jones not to shoot her son, and I'm truly sorry. I apologize to Ms. Jones, her son, and to the state."

As always this issue comes right down to the question of when human life begins. Once we can all agree on a definition, the debate will be over.

For the record, my answer to your question is yes. But it is way, way more than a yes.
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
Can you force the revolver out of your 6 year old's hand? Yes. And any parent would. Because that's what's BEST for the child. A pregnant teenager isn't necessarily capable of making the wisest choice. Granted...some teenagers are better at good choices than adults are, too...


Well said!

Thanks for the responses so far, I was curious to see if rephrasing my original question changed anyone's point of view. Different people are responding, so I'll wait and see what else pops up.
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
I'm going to express a bit of dissent (but only a bit, hehe).

While I think it would be horrible for a teen (or child) to choose to abort a pregnancy when her parents were willing and able to care for the resulting child, the parents are not the ones enduring the pregnancy.

It's not their body, not their choice.

Viewing abortion as a medical procedure, I am tentatively in favor of required parental permission in most cases, but I think it would be wrong for parents to make the decision for the pregnant teen. And I do think there is a distinction between right and wrong and legal and illegal. Many legal things are wrong, and there are legal things that many would argue are right or at least not a danger to society.

So, with parental consent being required (which I am slightly in favor of), it should be legal or allowed, but it's not something I think is appropriate or correct.
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top

It's not their body, not their choice.

Yes it is.  Until the age of consent, which is 18 in this country, it should be their right.  Look at it this way:

Should a parent be allowed to force a child to take medicine that is distasteful, but will cure their ailment?

By your logic, the answer to that question is no.  it is their body.

Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top
TW

The problem is that voiding the need for parental consent to the procedure creates an exception to a fairly well understood rule. Parents are the keepers of their children until they are 18. They are responsible for their medical care, their education, their health and safety. They are responsible for them financially, and to some extent behaviorally. If a kid goes and smashes up a neighbor's car with a bat, mom and dad get to pay the damages.

Lately we want to give more and more rights to kids, taking away the rights of the parent to raise their child as they see fit. It is not your place or my place or anyone elses place to tell someone how their child should be raised or cared for. So long as that care does not endanger the child, no one has any right to step in and say otherwise.

If it is accepted that people under the age of 18 are not mature enough to be able to hold a credit card, to vote or make major life decisions, they should not be considered mature enough to decide on an abortion.
Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top
#8 by little_whip
Friday, July 29, 2005


I've never forgiven them or myself, and I doubt they've forgiven themselves, either,


I understand what you are saying, bobbi {my oldest} is kicking herself for aborting, she now has 3 children with a terrific man {ex marine too}

I had to salve my concious by believing I did the right thing by supporting her decision to abort, drove her there, brought her home and took care of her.

bobbi and I have talked about what happened more than a few times and she says even thought she regrets getting a abortion I did the right thing by helping her.
Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top
Viewing abortion as a medical procedure, I am tentatively in favor of required parental permission in most cases, but I think it would be wrong for parents to make the decision for the pregnant teen

I normally regard your opinion very highly, but this stinks of fence sitting. I understand that it is a difficult stance to take for or against), but I think that we do our society and ourselves a disservice when we avoid the tough choices. Should parents be responsible for minor children or not?

LittleWhip-wow. That is powerful stuff and a strong stance. I'm so sorry tht you had to go through that, but I appreciate you sharing. You said some great things about responibility, conseqenses and repition of behavior that everyone should note. Thank you.

I guess it comes down to 1- do you think abortion is okay? 2- Are parents responsible for theiir children or not?. I will conceed that exceptions are out there, but solutions can be found.
Reply #10 from JoeUser Forums Top
I have been thinking about this thread a lot.

I suppose in my mind, those who believe in parental consent believe that the parents have the final say in anything the child decides. So, in addition to do you believe that parents should be able to force a child to carry a pregnancy to term, we should also ask, do you believe that a parent should be able to force a child to have an abortion. If we are going to conceded that parents have the final say, this too is an outcome.

I think the answer should firmly be no--in both cases, and I think that LW eloquently details why.
Reply #11 from JoeUser Forums Top

So, in addition to do you believe that parents should be able to force a child to carry a pregnancy to term, we should also ask, do you believe that a parent should be able to force a child to have an abortion. If we are going to conceded that parents have the final say, this too is an outcome.

In answer to your question, yes.  I am totally against abortion as you know, but a parent should be the first and foremost authority (and lets not get into the incest crap).

As for LW, I would merely ask you both how many children you have raised. It does not take a village.  It does take love and discipline.

Reply #12 from JoeUser Forums Top
As for LW, I would merely ask you both how many children you have raised.


Oh, my favorite response. I love the old "your opinion on children is completely irrevelant because you do not have children." Nice conversation ender, there.
Reply #13 from JoeUser Forums Top
I suppose in my mind, those who believe in parental consent believe that the parents have the final say in anything the child decides. So, in addition to do you believe that parents should be able to force a child to carry a pregnancy to term, we should also ask, do you believe that a parent should be able to force a child to have an abortion. If we are going to conceded that parents have the final say, this too is an outcome.I think the answer should firmly be no--in both cases,


Does that then mean you feel a parent does NOT have the final say in what their minor child decides to do? Do they have responsibility or not? If not, then why are they responsible for the child for everything else? What makes this situation more (or less) appropriate than any other desicion we take out of a minors hands?

As I said before, "it's a hard stance to take" but we must realize what the end result will be with either choice. The possibility exists that parents will not have the right to discipline, teach or instill morals in thier children, while still being held responsible for the end result is very likely. Kids are not supposed to be "raised by a village" instead of parents. The village should support parents and protect children from abuse, not undermine the family unit. That being said, a safety net must be in place to protect a child from overzealous parents who refuse to allow an abortion for religious reasons when the life of the child is at risk...or send her for repeated abortions due to abuse or neglect. There are negatives in both sides, but do we really want to hand over the raising of our children to government? Remember we vote on some leaders, but once a policy is in place it's very difficult to change or remove it.
Reply #14 from JoeUser Forums Top
Little Whip-
It's a difficult question for the best of us and I think you put an exellent point out there. We already have a great deal of outside involvement in how we raise our kids....how much more do we really need?

PS I lost my bedroom door as a kid!
Reply #15 from JoeUser Forums Top
(Not for self mutilation or destruction of property....It was just too messy)
Reply #16 from JoeUser Forums Top
I normally regard your opinion very highly, but this stinks of fence sitting.


True, it is fence sitting. There are few things that I feel are so black and white that I can confidently take a definitive stance.

I agree that parental consent should be required (although there is a lot of grey area with this), therefore, the parents are legally liable for the decision the child makes.

HOWEVER, I feel that a parent making that life-altering decision for a child is wrong. Forcing a child to carry a pregnancy to term, or alternately, forcing a child to have an abortion...is wrong.

I'm trying to make a distinction (and I haven't done so very competently in my previous post) between what is legal and what is correct or morally right or appropriate. I think it should be legal for the parent to know about and take part in those decisions. I think it is wrong for a parent to use that power to force a child into a decision that goes against her wishes for her body, her health, and her life.

I hope I am making this clear...I'm not sure how else to put it.
Reply #17 from JoeUser Forums Top

Oh, and thank you for yet another display of gross insensitivity.

HOw can it be gross insensitivity if I never knew anything about your situation?  Are you saying because of your condition, no one is allowed to talk about or ask you about children? Regardless of whether they are aware of your particular situation or not?