What were you thinking???

from JoeUser Forums

My daughter just came home from the store and told me something that made me mad.

She was walking along, minding her own business, when some guy pulled up next to her in a car, and  asked if she could help him find the pizza parlor on base was. 

Shea, being the level headed child she is, ignored him, and kept on walking.  She came right home and told me.

She didn't get a license plate number, or else I'd be calling Dave's colleagues over at the cop squadron and having them find him and ask exactly what his fucking game is.

Who, in this day and age, pulls over in a car and asks a child anything?  Especially when there's a gas station within sight where you can get reliable information.  Anyone with half a brain must know what their actions could have been (are being) construed as. 

I don't know what this guys intentions were because I wasn't in his head.  It might have been totally innocent.  He might just not have known better.  However, I don't know that I can totally disregard this.....I think that the days of my daughter walking to the store alone are over.  Even though we live in military family housing and are, in all reality, living in a gated community...pedophilia knows no boundaries as far as profession is concerned.  In fact, my husband's solitary prisoner right now is a once convicted pedophile who re-offended. 

Shea and I had a chat about what to do if something like this happens again.  She knows to look to see the person's plate number, to remember what make and color the car is....and she also knows that she did exactly what she was supposed to do today.  To not acknowledge the person, to just keep walking and to come straight home.

I have a small rage burning in my stomach right now.  I really want to go looking for this person, to tell him how irresponsible his actions were, that even if his intentions were totally innocent he managed to scare my child and piss off her mother.

I thought my children were relatively safe here.  I obviously thought wrong.

misc
5,264 views 14 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
While I'm glad your daughter is all ok and nothing bad happened, it is possible (as you said yourself) that he meant no harm. You could well still be living in a safe area (relatively speaking of course). I know I've done similar things in the past, guys (woman too?) can be oblivious at times. But to paraphrase parated2k, ignorance works on the side of the bad people, awareness everyone else. So stay aware, take care of your kids, and above all Don't Panic
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
I don't mean to scare you or be gruesome, but I am reminded of the incident on Fort Ord back in '96 or '97. A girl in her early teens disappeared off the street only a block or two from her house, right in the middle of base housing. If I remember correctly, witnesses saw her get in a car with some guys, and no one saw her alive again. There were massive searches of the base and the surrounding areas, but her body wasn't found till almost a year later. Life and I had just gotten a house on base, and we were living just a few streets over from the family when it happened. I remember wondering if any family could ever feel safe sending their kids out alone ever again. Your girl's got a sharp head on her shoulders, she did the right thing. Now that our boy is old enough to understand people when they talk to him, we have to find a way to teach him to only talk to the right people. It's big, scary world out there. Good luck.
Sins of a Solar Empire: Rebellion
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
I'm afraid I must have scared one girl half to death just this way.

At Ft Bragg we picked people up all the time. I can't even count how many times I accepted rides from (and gave rides to) perfect strangers. Hey, we were all in the same military (dependant, or troop), right?

Not long after I got off active duty, I was driving at night in Utah and saw a girl walking on the side of the road. By habit (and admittedly, not really thinking), I pulled my dark colored minivan up next to her, and offered her a ride. Of course, she refused, and started walking faster. I felt awful, knowing how much I must have scared her. On the other hand, I kind of hope she also realized how dangerous it was for her to be walking alone at night.

Sad that we live in a world where offering help (or asking for it) has become a threat.

Glad Shea is ok and she knew how to handle herself. I'm even more glad you two were able to talk about it and use this as an object lesson.
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top

ignorance works on the side of the bad people, awareness everyone else.

Exactly.

I don't mean to scare you or be gruesome, but I am reminded of the incident on Fort Ord back in '96 or '97.

I know, and that's what bothers me about the kids roaming around on base alone.  People think that we live in a safe community, and we don't.  Like I said pedophilia knows no professional boundaries....I've lost count of the amount of people D's had in his facility for kiddie porn or worse.  It's simply not safe anywhere.....

I'm afraid I must have scared one girl half to death just this way.

You probably did.  That guy last night was probably only trying to be helpful, but he succeeded in scaring my kid...

Sad that we live in a world where offering help (or asking for it) has become a threat.

Again, exactly.

Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
ignorance works on the side of the bad people, awareness everyone else.


Glad to be paraphrased. ;~D
Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top
Karen...with a Mom like yourself and the wonderful guidance you give to your children... you have very little to worry about. They are gonna be OK.
Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top


Glad to be paraphrased. ;~D

That's another 'para' you can add to your list....

JFJ: yeah, whatever.

Mano: You can never be too careful when it comes to your kids.  Ever.

Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top
Mano: You can never be too careful when it comes to your kids. Ever.


this is true...but home guidance really means alot.
Reply #10 from JoeUser Forums Top
That's another 'para' you can add to your list....


Good one! I guess it's my turn to say, "I wish I'd have said that first! ;~D
Reply #11 from JoeUser Forums Top

this is true...but home guidance really means alot.

You know, I get berated sometimes for being too 'police-y' in my thinking.  D gets the same thing.  I don't see anything wrong with it.....especially as far as the kids are concerned.  We've always told them that they aren't to trust anyone they don't know very well, even if that person is in uniform.  When I had the car accident, I had to call someone from D's squadron to get them off the schoolbus, and I had to give them our 'password' or else the kids wouldn't have gone with him.  We have this word that we all know, that's really pretty obscure....and the rule is they have to ask whomever it is that's asking them to go somewhere or do something what the password is.  If the person doesn't know, then they don't go.  They call the police, they go to a neighbor's house, but they do not, under any circumstance, go with that person until they can come up with the password.  There are a few people that don't have to use the password, and the kids know who they are....but anyone else, even if they're in uniform, has to have the password.

I haven't told D about last night's happening yet....  I don't want to freak him out....I'm trying to come up with a non-alarmist way to tell him.

 

Reply #12 from JoeUser Forums Top
I think its amazing that Shea had the sense to not talk to him and keep on going. I'm so...trusting that I'll talk to just about anyone.

The same thing happened to me yesterday...kinda. I had went to the store and was on my way home and I pulled up to a stoplight. When I do that...I usually do what I shouldn't...I just kinda look around and see who's next to me, like I still live in a town of 10,000 people and have a pretty good chance of knowing someone. Anyway, the guy beside me motioned me to roll down my window, so I did. He was only asking me how to get to Summerlin Hospital, but who knows, right?

lol...I needed a mom like you would've instilled in me those types of "sensical" things. I tend to be more focused on being a good Samaritian versus my own safety.

I keep thinking about going to Minnesota, though...I'm excited about going for a walk with my dog out in the secluded countryside where my mom lives. My dog's very protective and she'd probably rip anyone to shreds who would try to touch me, but she likes to explore on those walks and might be a long ways away...I'm thinking of taking one of my dad's old hunting knives with me on those walks. I've never felt the need to do that before...I guess living in Las Vegas will do that to a person.
Reply #13 from JoeUser Forums Top
speaking of base life...........
i just wrote an article that i would love your insight on.
whenever is cool
http://blackistan.joeuser.com/index.asp?AID=79198
hope you're doing well.
i'm in there with you sister.
Reply #14 from JoeUser Forums Top
sad to say 90 out of a hundred people might have just been lost, but it's that 10 that makes us crazy and rightly so.