Pregnant High School Student's Act of Defiance

from JoeUser Forums
Pregnant student defies graduation ban
Thursday, May 19, 2005 Posted: 9:09 AM EDT (1309 GMT)


Alysha Cosby sits at her family's apartment in Montgomery, Alabama, on April 28.

MONTGOMERY, Alabama (AP) -- A pregnant student who was banned from graduation at her Roman Catholic high school announced her own name and walked across the stage anyway at the close of the program.

Alysha Cosby's decision prompted cheers and applause Tuesday from many of her fellow seniors at St. Jude Educational Institute.

But her mother and aunt were escorted out of the church by police after Cosby headed back to her seat.

"I can't believe something like this is happening in 2005," said her mother, Sheila Cosby. "My daughter has been through a lot and I am proud of her. She deserved to walk, and she did."

The school's guidance counselor delivered Cosby's degree to her house earlier Tuesday, but she still wanted to participate.

"I worked hard throughout high school and I wanted to walk with my class," she said.

Cosby was told in March that she could no longer attend school because of safety concerns, and her name was not listed in the graduation program.

The father of Cosby's child, also a senior at the school, was allowed to participate in graduation.
3,963 views 26 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
The father of Cosby's child, also a senior at the school, was allowed to participate in graduation.


That's what gets me. He was the other contributor to this child--but this is a Catholic school and immaculate conception seems to happen with Catholics sometimes. Maybe she just humped herself and got pregnant. What a bunch of hooey.

If you're going to punish one--you've got to punish the other.

My guess is that if they said that those who had engaged in any sort of sexual act before marriage couldn't participate in commencement activities, they'd have a grand total of two in their graduating class.
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
If it were a public school, she would have a case.  But as it is private, she does not.  It is a shame the school feels that way, but it is their right to do it.
Multiplicity - Control multiple PCs using one keyboard and mouse
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
The father of Cosby's child, also a senior at the school, was allowed to participate in graduation.


This is what I think is utter bullshit. Totally unfair; he was there, too, after all, when the baby was conceived.
If he was any kind of a man, he would have stood beside her and refused to take his diploma there, if she was being refused.
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top

If he was any kind of a man, he would have stood beside her and refused to take his diploma there, if she was being refused.

That is the best statement yet.  He should have done that.

Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
If they are to be fair, let's ban all the non-virgin students from walking across the stage. Pregnancy is only a physical confirmation of the deed that the school frowns upon.

I have a whole lot to say about this, but it's really early here, so I'll save it for later.
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
The father of Cosby's child, also a senior at the school, was allowed to participate in graduation.


This is what I think is utter bullshit. Totally unfair; he was there, too, after all, when the baby was conceived.
If he was any kind of a man, he would have stood beside her and refused to take his diploma there, if she was being refused.


I agree totally. He is just as responsible for the pregnancy as she is.
Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top
I think this is an example of some of the worst sort of hypocracy many of the "moral majority" pull off. Blame it all on the woman, the guy gets off scott-free... It just sickens me.

That said, since it was a private school, they had that right. No matter how much I disagree with it, it was their right as a private institution that undoubtedly had a moral code of conduct for its students.
Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top
That said, since it was a private school, they had that right. No matter how much I disagree with it, it was their right as a private institution that undoubtedly had a moral code of conduct for its students.


It may have been in their legal rights to refuse, but not the moral right. That's a whole 'nother matter.
After all, just because something is "legal" doesn't make it "right".
What's right is right, and refusing something as strongly symbolic as accepting a diploma, especially, to someone who worked hard for it is just wrong, no matter what the circumstance.
Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top
I'm not saying it was "right" but that it was within their rights to do what they did... big difference. Because of this there's no real way to get back at the school for this one... well aside from a lot of bad press.
Reply #10 from JoeUser Forums Top

I'm not saying it was "right" but that it was within their rights to do what they did... big difference. Because of this there's no real way to get back at the school for this one... well aside from a lot of bad press.

And I would say that Rightwinger, Zoomba and I are in complete agreement on this one (chances of that happening again???????).

It is the SCHOOL's right, but it is not RIGHT.

And the father is a schmuck!

Reply #11 from JoeUser Forums Top
chances of that happening again???????


Well, pretty high on any article by R.H., Dabe, Aeryck or Col Gene
Reply #12 from JoeUser Forums Top

Well, pretty high on any article by R.H., Dabe, Aeryck or Col Gene

Point taken!

Reply #13 from JoeUser Forums Top
A lot of comments about this being a private school, but I went to a public school and the few girls who got pregnant seemed to kind of be pushed out of the school or kept in a kind of hiding away from the community in nonmainstream classes. I don't think this only a symptom of a unjust private school acting on their rights to set policy. There is a common theme here of dismissing young men from their responsibility and entirely condemning the woman for her actions.

-sus
Reply #14 from JoeUser Forums Top
Who sez dat's de baby's daddy ?

Did dey makes a video at's de conception ?

Sheesh,

The school made a moral judgement, based on what I'm sure is their time honored stance against pre-maritial sex.

I mean do we, as a society, have to accept children having children as a simple fact of life ?
Isn't that condoning, what in most peoples mind, is at the least an unfortunate happenstance ?
Why should this girl not feel shame ?
Why should the school not exclude her from the graduation ?
Yes, thank goodness she decided to keep the child, but does that qualify her to be honored when she very obviously failed to keep the tennets of the catholic church ? ( Unwed, pregnant teen, surely equals failure of Catholic teachings...dontcha think ? )

But no, we are a society of individuals, devoid of personal responsibility for our actions, so,of course, this young girl ( and the baby's daddy for that matter ) are free from guilt, wrong doing, or the remorse, shame and repercussions of their actions.

Just because it happens more and more does't make it right, it just makes it more common ( in all senses of the word ) .
Reply #15 from JoeUser Forums Top
What pregnant teens need is challenge, pride, and achievement. She EARNED the right to walk across that stage by meeting the requirements to receive her diploma. Shaming pregnant teens does them and their children no good.

Yes, a private school has this right, but that does not mean that other Americans cannot take a stand against it and attempt to encourage the school to do the right thing in the future.

Why should this girl not feel shame ?


How about some shame for all the other students engaging in the same activity but managing to not become pregnant? If we have a problem with teen sex, fine, but to single out the ones who get pregnant and shame them is ridiculous. If she broke the school's moral code by having premarital sex, then I can guarantee that there were countless others who proudly walked across that stage having broken that same moral code.

Gahh...this is infuriating.
Reply #16 from JoeUser Forums Top


It may have been in their legal rights to refuse, but not the moral right.

I have to disagree, it is morally right.  Just because teens are having sex and getting pregnant doesn't mean that a private CATHOLIC school has to change their rules.  In todays society, we allow too many unmoral things to happen and then claim "it's just the way today's world is".  However, the school, based on the faith of their church, is enforcing their moral beliefs- no sex before marriage.  Allowing a pregnant teen to attend graduation would be pure hypocrisy.

Is it fair that the "father" could attend.  No.  But, what has changed?

Reply #17 from JoeUser Forums Top
As a private school they were well within their rights. But, if they knew who the father was, he should also have been excluded.

As a religious school, they certainly have their standards and code of conduct, and should stick to them as is their right, but should do so fairly. The father is just as much in violation as the mother.
Reply #18 from JoeUser Forums Top
As a pregnant teen, I was school newspaper editor, a member of the National Honor Society, a member of the Student Council, Senior Class Treasurer, "honorary cheerleader" (I made ALL the cheer leading signs), recipient of the Journalism/Yearbook Award, a member of Who's Who for High School Students, a Regional Qualifier for UIL in Headline Writing and News Writing, and a recipient of two different college scholarships, (and numerous other things I can't even remember) and I graduated third in my class despite the added challenge of pregnancy.

And someone's going to tell me that I CAN'T walk across the stage and receive my diploma while my parents take photos and my friends clap and cheer? Aw, HELL NO!

I'm certainly glad I wasn't Catholic.

Good on her for taking what she rightfully earned.

(BTW, I went to TWO proms great big pregnant...for shame, huh? )
Reply #19 from JoeUser Forums Top
Tex,
The first part of my post questioned the verasity of the claim of "who dat baby's daddy?",
As well, I understand your consternation over the situation, yes she graduated, they did deliver her diploma, instead of expelling her ( again she failed catholic teaching by engaging in pre-maritial sex ) and it seems she had been removed from the student body long before commencement....

What action has more negative connetations;

Denying a student who has obviously failed what has been taught, or rewarding a student in front of her peers despite her obvious failings.....I would think her situation may have motivated a few fellow students to rethink pre-maritial sex.

And it is HER failure, accepting it as less erodes what little moral fabric is left.

Lastly, we are a society built on innocent until proven guilty, barring a last minute declaration of immaculate conception, she has proven her guilt beyond a reasonable doubt....

Is this fair ? No. But what in real life is fair ? Morally it was the right thing to do, ( or we can just delete those Catholic beliefs that were taught ) Legally it was correct ( I guarantee a lawyer was consulted before the school acted )and ethically it was also proper ( the greater good was served by demonstrating to the graduating class that poor choices have repercussions.

Lastly, again this isn't fair, but it's true..."nothing is against the rules, unless you get caught....

I have pity for the girl, really I do, but standards have to be upheld, however arbitrary.
Reply #20 from JoeUser Forums Top
Why should this girl not feel shame ?


When I was younger, my Neighbors oldest got Pregnant. She was 16. My Neighbors did not shun her or castigate her, they loved her. And I thought that was so stupid! How could they not punish this child! She did the unspeakable and should be punished!

Then my head and heart saw an epiphany. And I realized they did the exact right thing. They supporter her and her husband (she got married at 18). You cannot undo a pregnancy. You can shun then with a Scarlet letter. Or you can love them.

But you cannot undo a pregnancy.
Reply #21 from JoeUser Forums Top
I'm certainly glad I wasn't Catholic.


You dont have to be Catholic to go to a Catholic School. But you do have to live by their rules. Denominations are not democratic.
Reply #22 from JoeUser Forums Top
As a private school they were well within their rights. But, if they knew who the father was, he should also have been excluded.


Bingo. That's the issue here.

When I first heard the story I was pissed off because I didn't realize it was a private school. When I found that out, however, my opinion changed.

Why did it change, you ask? Well, simple, because (in THEORY, for those of us who know better and so I don't get stones thrown at me) a private school is SUPPOSED to be as much about teaching faith and Godly living as it is about teaching academics (but seeing the failure of that in too many private school students, I must protest its effectiveness, but that's another article). While other students had certainly engaged in activity not sanctioned by the school, it is probable that most of them weren't caught by school officials.

The biggest problem with the whole situation, as has been repeatedly pointed out, has been that the punishment was not equally extended to the father. But as for the school's right, well, I must reluctantly admit they are right, even though I personally wouldn't have made that decision if I were in their shoes.

But that's just good ol' me! lol
Reply #23 from JoeUser Forums Top
Okay, to the ladies out there, since when has life been "fair" for us? If you're catholic, life is even more unfair. God gave us menstruation...thanks! We get the burden/gift of carrying the child. We in turn solely bare evidence of any sin. Unless the mother presented a video of the conception as eluded to in earlier comments, how would the school prove he was the father unless he fessed up? Sure, if he were a real man, he would fess up and stand by his woman. He didn't so the school had no foot to stand on in repremanding him.

Actions have consequences. I want my sons to fully understand that. I don't want our society to be a "anything goes" society like it is so fervently working toward. I have no religious reasons for this stance either. I just think that people need to be slapped in the face to realize that hey, if you are having sex, you may end up suffering. This might make them think a little harder about what they are getting into.

I believe that families should be supportive toward their own but I don't see why a Catholic school should show any support toward something that is so obviously against the basic beliefs of their religion.
Reply #24 from JoeUser Forums Top
But no, we are a society of individuals, devoid of personal responsibility for our actions, so,of course, this young girl ( and the baby's daddy for that matter ) are free from guilt, wrong doing, or the remorse, shame and repercussions of their actions.


Free from repercussions!?!?! Did you miss something, SHE'S A PREGNANT TEEN, I'd say that's a pretty big repercussion for her actions!

-Sus

Reply #25 from JoeUser Forums Top

you shouldn't define pregnancy as a repercussion.

Just a thought.

Trinitie