Gain some, lose some, gain some more

from JoeUser Forums

It seems I'm never satisfied. 

I was fat once; and I wanted to be skinny.

I got skinny, and wanted to have curves.  I think most women are like that.  It's not just about our weight, either.  We can be unsatisfied with our hair (we have straight and want curly, we have short and want long), our faces, our eyes....all kinds of things.

Now though, I think I might have reached a place where I'm content.  With my weight, at least.

In the past 2 years, I've worn everything from a size 3 to a size 12, and I have clothes galore to show the progress.  I also went from a 34B to 36 DD and I have a drawer full of bra's to prove that too.

I couldn't seem to maintain a healthy weight. First I was too fat ( 160 and a size 12 for my little frame is pretty big), then I was too skinny (108 and a size 3 - I could actually wear my 12 year old daughter's jeans with ease). 

I got weighed this morning.  I gained 5lbs since the last time, and that extra weight has gone right to my boobs.  I got my C/D cup back (my husband is probably cheering as he reads this - yes, babe, they're HUGE compared to what they were when you left!) to balance out my junk-in-the-trunk rear end.  I'm at 135 and a size 9. 

I'm eating properly.  I'm eating breakfast, something I haven't done when since I was a teenager.  I'm making time for lunch, and I'm eating dinner at a sensible time.  No more eating supper at 9 and snacking all day; I'm trying to be healthy.  I'm weeding out processed sugars and flours, I'm buying organic fruits and vegetables. 

I'm just trying to be the healthiest me I can be.  Well rounded physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally. The physical, spiritual and emotional aspects are well on the mend...now I just have to get a handle on the mental! (and that was a tongue-in-cheek comment)

Oh, and if anyone wants some clothes, let me know.  I have some going spare...!

misc
2,359 views 5 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
Dharma:
Glad to hear you are winning the battle of body image. Very rarely do you hear that people, especially women, are satisfied with what they have. I agree with you, it seems like we always want what we can't have.

I swear to gosh we must be separated sisters or something because I have also had similar problems. I have always been right around 125-135 and then when I met Hardin I got up to 160. I then lost a bunch of weight and got down to about 115. The dieting that got me down that skinny brought on a sugar imbalance. The doctor also mentioned that 115 was too small for my frame (I am so oddly shaped, short but with large bones), so I gained a little weight. Right now I'm at 128. For the most part I am happy, but I see the skinny models all over the media and it makes me feel like a huge cow because they are atleast 6 inches taller and weigh the same.

I see only one solution to the problem: Fuck the media
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
I swear to gosh we must be separated sisters or something because I have also had similar problems.

Ok, this is spooky....I was thinking about you not even half an hour ago, wondering where you were and if you were alright....I had just sat down to compose you an email...and here you are! The more I know about you, the more I'm thinking that you might be onto something with the sister idea....!!

The dieting that got me down that skinny brought on a sugar imbalance

I was malnourished. I was trying to recover from the accident, and my body cannibalised itself because I wasn't eating enough. D came home for a couple of weeks when i was at my skinniest and got scared because I looked waif-like.


I see only one solution to the problem: Fuck the media


Works for me!
Elemental: Reforged
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
! How ironic! I haven't been on because Hardin came home the other day and I've been busy with work!!

I need to post soon! I've been such a slacker! Talk to you soon!!
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
Must be a chick thing.
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
Congratulations. I have always struggled with body image and to see someone reach a point where they are happy with themselves is fantastic.

The only time I have really been happy with my body is when I was pregnant this last time. I was strong and fit and that extra weight around my middle? Well, it was supposed to be there, supposed to look like that and didnt' prevent me from doing anything I wanted to do. I could do yoga, wear shirts that exposed my belly and short shorts and...still feel happy and good about myself. Now that I am no longer pregnant....that body self-consiousness has gradually crept back. I'm somewhere around 160lbs and between a size 10 and a 12 and know that it's not jsut the lbs that need to come off...but some of the unease about my body. I hope that when I reach that point....I realize it. (i've never been too skinny and I know that is just as unhealthy as being overweight....I hope that never becomes a problem for me because unhealthy body image is harder to shed than lbs)