How Many Of These Do You Have?
from 
JoeUser Forums
JoeUser Forums
I've been lucky enough to travel and to live in different countries. Along the way, I've met people from various nations and cultures. But regardless of background, I find there are three characteristics which I look for in a new acquaintance: self-deprecation, intellectual curiosity and joie de vivre.
I'm not a fundamentalist about this, it's great if you have all three (the grand slam), but I won't write you off if you only possess one or two. I myself lack joie de vivre, which probably makes it the most important of the three to me. It's concievable that I may like you even if you have none of the above (the wooden spoon), though you would have to have three other characteristics: femininity, attractiveness and appalling taste in men. Anyone notice the implied self-deprecation in the last sentence?
So allow me to explain the importance of each:
1. Self-deprecation
We all have foibles and weaknesses and we shouldn't be afraid to laugh at them. I do this a lot, perhaps a little too much. There is a fine line between self-deprecation, which is healthy, and self-hatred, which is not. You should have a reasonable self-image without recourse to brashness.
I reallly hate people who constanty go on about how great they are, and then expect me to join in. If I think you're great, I'll tell you. If you tell me you're great, it means you're not. You're an eejit.
2. Intellectual Curiosity
This means a thirst for knowledge, a desire to know more about the world. I'm not saying that I expect you to have a PhD, I'm merely saying that, however much you know, you should want to know more.
The intellectually curious person likes to read about subjects in which they are not expert, in the hope that one day they may be. When they meet a person from a country to which they've never been, the intellectually curious person asks questions about that place, even if they've no intention of ever visiting.
I find the intellectually curious to be rewarding conversationists, not least beacuse they will be interested in what I have to say.
3. Joie de vivre
Ah, those French, they have a word for everything. For those of you who don't know (and if you're intellectually curious, you should want to know) this means "the joy of life".
Perhaps there is life after death, perhaps there is heaven and hell, perhaps (as I believe) there is nothing. But none of us knows for sure what lies in store once our number is up. So in the meantime, it's just good sense to try to get the most out of life. This means being positive about the big things in your life (family, friends, work). But it also means taking joy in the little things in life: a sunny day, the laughter of a child, the smell of good coffee.
I don't demand joie de vivre in every context of course. I'm not expecting you to be full of bonhomie on the day that your mother dies. Joie de vivre should not be confused with inane happiness, an inabililty to be either serious or upset. There are times when happiness is quite simply inapprporate. But on a general level, I think that taking joy from life is as sign of a healthy perspective.
Every person I know is lucky enough to have food in their stomach, clothes on their back and a roof over their head. There are millions of people who are not so fortunate. So yes, be sad when something bad happens and yes, complain (within reason) when something doesn't go your way. But for God's sake, realise how lucky you are and don't constantly moan about every little setback.
So, dear Joeuser, how many of these three do you have?
, and 2. it's true! (that my taste in men is horrible--not that OG is appalling!)
I'll take that as a compliment.... I love Yoda!
