The Boob Conspiracy
from 
JoeUser Forums
JoeUser Forums
Victoria's Secret is about boobs, yes? Not strictly boobs, but boob adornment is a large part of what they're about.
And yet, when my breasts need Victoria's Secret, VS abandons them.
I have large breasts. Not "oh my god!" breasts. "Wow," maybe, but nothing you won't see in a Wal-Mart or Home Depot or Gold's Gym or Red Lobster or Hooters anywhere in America. Breasts like mine are common. So why is it that bra-makers worldwide have conspired to force me and my stacked sisters into ugly beige grandma bras?
I'm a simple girl. I'm not asking for much. A bow here, some lace there, a bit of underwire...something in pink, maybe? Why is this an impossible request?
Discount department stores carry bras aplenty. In fact, they usually have a large selection of the bra and panty set of the week in flashy metallic material or velvet with dangly objects or neon animal print. Tacky as it may be, I'm game to wear this stuff. Bring on the matching lime green see-through bra and thong set! I'll take two! But alas, these items were not made for me.
It seems as though in the brassiere making world, breasts only grow as large as 34D. If I want a bra for less than $40, I'm stuck with the full-coverage, mega-wide shoulder strapped box-set bras that are the female equivalent of tighty whiteys.
Victoria's Secret should be the go-to company for sexy bras for busty girls. I mean, Tyra Banks has got quite the set on her and she's one of their models! But no. VS likes to tease. They boast sizes that go up to 42DD. While that does leave some more "blessed" women out in the cold, girls like me fit nicely into the upper end of their spectrum.
I've bought plenty of things from VS in the past. Panties, lingerie, garter belts, stockings...they've had me covered. Until now. I clicked on the "bra" heading and found page upon page of cute, sexy, playful bras. Lined and unlined. Lace. Racerback. Strapless. Bows. Colors. Prints. Padded and unpadded. Underwire and no undewire. Ahh, the choices.
But no.
The majority of the bras I found enticing enough to click on only went as high as 36D. AT VICTORIA'S SECRET! The sexy boob people!
Frustrated, I decided to try Lane Bryant. Lane Bryant are the sexy plus size people. I thought surely they want to make my 38DDs look good. They're all about big and beautiful, right?
Wrong.
Different website, same problem.
What do I have to do to get a bra that fits right with straps that don't kill me, underwire that lifts up my boobies, and some freaking lace and a bow? Can I get a demi bra? Please? I promise I'll wash it gently and hang it up to dry. I realize matching panties are far too large a request, so I'll just leave it at that. One. Good. Bra.
I feel like my boobs are outcasts. Looks like it's the $22 plain-jane ivory laced racerback Victoria's Secret bra for me.
*Sigh*
And yet, when my breasts need Victoria's Secret, VS abandons them.
I have large breasts. Not "oh my god!" breasts. "Wow," maybe, but nothing you won't see in a Wal-Mart or Home Depot or Gold's Gym or Red Lobster or Hooters anywhere in America. Breasts like mine are common. So why is it that bra-makers worldwide have conspired to force me and my stacked sisters into ugly beige grandma bras?
I'm a simple girl. I'm not asking for much. A bow here, some lace there, a bit of underwire...something in pink, maybe? Why is this an impossible request?
Discount department stores carry bras aplenty. In fact, they usually have a large selection of the bra and panty set of the week in flashy metallic material or velvet with dangly objects or neon animal print. Tacky as it may be, I'm game to wear this stuff. Bring on the matching lime green see-through bra and thong set! I'll take two! But alas, these items were not made for me.
It seems as though in the brassiere making world, breasts only grow as large as 34D. If I want a bra for less than $40, I'm stuck with the full-coverage, mega-wide shoulder strapped box-set bras that are the female equivalent of tighty whiteys.
Victoria's Secret should be the go-to company for sexy bras for busty girls. I mean, Tyra Banks has got quite the set on her and she's one of their models! But no. VS likes to tease. They boast sizes that go up to 42DD. While that does leave some more "blessed" women out in the cold, girls like me fit nicely into the upper end of their spectrum.
I've bought plenty of things from VS in the past. Panties, lingerie, garter belts, stockings...they've had me covered. Until now. I clicked on the "bra" heading and found page upon page of cute, sexy, playful bras. Lined and unlined. Lace. Racerback. Strapless. Bows. Colors. Prints. Padded and unpadded. Underwire and no undewire. Ahh, the choices.
But no.
The majority of the bras I found enticing enough to click on only went as high as 36D. AT VICTORIA'S SECRET! The sexy boob people!
Frustrated, I decided to try Lane Bryant. Lane Bryant are the sexy plus size people. I thought surely they want to make my 38DDs look good. They're all about big and beautiful, right?
Wrong.
Different website, same problem.
What do I have to do to get a bra that fits right with straps that don't kill me, underwire that lifts up my boobies, and some freaking lace and a bow? Can I get a demi bra? Please? I promise I'll wash it gently and hang it up to dry. I realize matching panties are far too large a request, so I'll just leave it at that. One. Good. Bra.
I feel like my boobs are outcasts. Looks like it's the $22 plain-jane ivory laced racerback Victoria's Secret bra for me.
*Sigh*
: Hehehee...I miss Beavis and Butthead...