How do you decide what is going to be best for you?

Oh honey, I hear you. I didn't get into my first relationship until I was 15 and only a month away from being 16. That relationship lasted on and off for two years, and I am still affected by it. Now, I just turned 21 and three serious relationships and one near-engagement later, I am single. But, here's what I learned recently due to the guidance of some special people, and a wedding I attended:

1. Being in a relationship just because you are lonely can and will most likely be disastrous. Being in a relationship like that causes drama, conflict and pain, especially if he is not the guy for you, but you want to make him become Mr. Right.

2. Real love really is worth waiting for. I sang at the wedding of two good friends this past summer. There were together for two years and some odd months before getting married. And, the surprising thing about their wedding? Not a single girl felt jealous or bitter. We were so happy for the two of them and knew that their wedding was perfect and that they truly were meant to be together. As I was driving back to my house, where my ex was waiting on me to see if we wanted to give it another try, I realized that I was not going to push myself in an ok relationship because waiting for the love I had seen at that wedding would be better than dating a guy who just wasn’t right for me. That kind of love is worth the wait.

3. If you really don’t want to die alone, worry about cultivating friendships, not relationships. Guys are great, don’t get me wrong, but you need friends. And, should you become involved with a guy, do not put your friendships on the back burner. In fact, spend more energy with your friends than you normally do, because if things go sour, you’ll need them for support, and if things go great, you’ll need them to throw you one heck of a bachelorette party.

You probably hear the "you are still young" thing a lot, but it is true...don't fret if you don't find someone now...just enjoy everything else that life has to offer you...especially at this age when you can be a bit more carefree...
I agree with Elf when she says that creating friendships right now would be more meaningful than trying to find a b/f...

go out and enjoy yourself...if a guy doesn't pay you attention or doesn't see any special qualities in you, then...he's not the guy for you, right...a great guy will come your way in time...

Lemmesee.. girls with tractors. Nothing bad/odd with that. I've had 2 daughters, one of which during your age, was very much into carpentry and reading through my medical books. "Blood and bones"..she called it. Now at 22, she's into laboratory work which she enjoys and yes..(sigh.)she's preparing for her marriage. So, it's a developing thing and you've still got a long way to go. Sometimes, the way Life moves, it would really make you impatient. But you just have to go with the flow and after some time, you'll find that bend in the river where you get a clearer picture of where you should be heading. Learn more. Now's the time to do it and veer away from stuff that would wreck your trip altogether. Usually girls have a better built-in mechanism for recognizing these than boys do.

If you want answers right now, you can type "destiny/ my destiny",and Google it. It would lead you to sites where you take online tests that would give you an idea "what is going to best for you".

Good Luck!

There's lots I could say about you're still young, most people do get married, relationships aren't everything, but you've heard it all before. The single best advice I could give you is focus on you. If you're not ok being without a romantic relationship, no matter what stage of life you're in, you'll never be ok in one.

There's lots I could say about you're still young, most people do get married, relationships aren't everything, but you've heard it all before. The single best advice I could give you is focus on you. If you're not ok being without a romantic relationship, no matter what stage of life you're in, you'll never be ok in one.

Truer words were *never* spoken/written.

My husband never had a girlfriend until he was 22 years old.  That girlfriend was me.

My husband said he just hadn't met anyone who he wanted to date.  And, I still think that the only reason that he was interested in me was because I knew a bit about cars.  (Our first conversation was a debate over what was wrong with a fellow students cars.)

So, most likely, you just haven't run into the right person. 

As for me?  I had a few boyfriends, and was even engaged before I met my husband.  But, those relationships all seem so insignificant now that I can't even remember any of the details.  "Boyfriends" are easy to find.  "True love" is not.

I so clearly remember going through exactly what you're talking about. I thought I must be ugly or smelly or too much of a nerd, that my future was going to be horribly lonely, that no one would ever love me etc etc. I'm 24 now and I've had my fair share of boyfriends - good and bad. I've got enough admirers to make me realise that I am attractive and desireable. I've had my heart broken and I've broken hearts. It will happen for you eventually, I promise. The only thing is that you can't push for it. Desperation is the least attractive thing any person can wear. Make sure you want the boy, not just the boyfriend. Do things that make you happy - there is nothing more attractive than someone who is comfortable in their own skin. But mostly, and everyone has already said it so you're probably tired of it by now, be happy with who you are. A girl who loves tractors? Cool! Much better than a vacuous twit who only wants to talk about hair and shoes.

Take care, you'll be just fine!

Suz xxx

Thank You all for your kind words of wisdom, and your life experiences, I am glad to know I am not the only one out there. I am hoping that I find the one for me. Thank you all for everything. I think that this article and the comments I have gotten had been the best, I ever had. Thank you all very very much.

Stacey

Stacey~ Why do you think that you need a boryfriend to justify your attractiveness and self worth? Because you don't. Be grateful, nothing against the relationship I'm in because I was ready to start this relationship, that you have time to deal with yourself, and find out about you, and to focus on what's right for you.