Forward Thinking Christians Smoke Luckies
New Documents Un-earthed Near Nablus
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Fifty miles north of the cave system wherein the Dead Sea Scrolls were discovered in 1947, an Israeli fashion model, Lil' Elli, has found what some archeologist are calling 'the next big thing'. While researching a location to shoot next falls' HotWord (hotword.com) line of poolside wear, Elli, age 23, height 5'7'', bust..(oh, never mind that stuff).she found an ancient briefcase of ancient secular re-writes of the books of the Old Testament. Can you believe it?
The semi-scrolled parchments, believed to be a collection of wish-lists collected over 300 years by members of the lost tribe of Aclu (Hebrew for 'watch-them) , were written competely in Aramaic, the common language of that area in those crazy, mixed-up old days, and two experts of that old Aramaic talk were called in to verify certain aspects of the find. Professors Melvin Gibson and James Cavessi of Hollywud College, Brisbane, both agreed it appeared authentic. Lil' Elli also looked fabulous in her Turkish- towell tie-dyed toga.(HotWord Fall Catalog/fall '05...300.5 shekl) After being ruffed-up recently by the Hollywud big shot archeologists, Prof. Gibson addmitted to being a bit hesitant about revealing the 'content' of the ancient briefcase before checking in with the 'boyz'.
"They're very sensitive fellows, those boyz. Very touchy." say Gibson, who has never won an Oscar.
Cavessi on the other hand is a member of the new breed of Aramaic wonderboys, and his response to reporters' questions was a cool 'Whatever', in Aramaic.
"This is a kick-ass find," continues Gibson, "and it proves we were right to put that documentary we did last year up against Professor Moore's piece. He's a flippin' sore loser now, aint he? Wait till he finds out he's goin' t' hell, maybe."
A full report on the 'briefcase find' , as it is being labeled, is scheduled for release this summer in Teen Sreen Magazine. A package of Lucky Strike ciggaretts was found underneath the briefcase, according to Lil' Elli. Imagine! L.S.M.F.T. might have more than one meaning after all.
disclaimer: No one involved with the Creation of this article nor anyone mentioned in the article has any affiliation with the American Tobbacco Company.
The semi-scrolled parchments, believed to be a collection of wish-lists collected over 300 years by members of the lost tribe of Aclu (Hebrew for 'watch-them) , were written competely in Aramaic, the common language of that area in those crazy, mixed-up old days, and two experts of that old Aramaic talk were called in to verify certain aspects of the find. Professors Melvin Gibson and James Cavessi of Hollywud College, Brisbane, both agreed it appeared authentic. Lil' Elli also looked fabulous in her Turkish- towell tie-dyed toga.(HotWord Fall Catalog/fall '05...300.5 shekl) After being ruffed-up recently by the Hollywud big shot archeologists, Prof. Gibson addmitted to being a bit hesitant about revealing the 'content' of the ancient briefcase before checking in with the 'boyz'.
"They're very sensitive fellows, those boyz. Very touchy." say Gibson, who has never won an Oscar.
Cavessi on the other hand is a member of the new breed of Aramaic wonderboys, and his response to reporters' questions was a cool 'Whatever', in Aramaic.
"This is a kick-ass find," continues Gibson, "and it proves we were right to put that documentary we did last year up against Professor Moore's piece. He's a flippin' sore loser now, aint he? Wait till he finds out he's goin' t' hell, maybe."
A full report on the 'briefcase find' , as it is being labeled, is scheduled for release this summer in Teen Sreen Magazine. A package of Lucky Strike ciggaretts was found underneath the briefcase, according to Lil' Elli. Imagine! L.S.M.F.T. might have more than one meaning after all.
disclaimer: No one involved with the Creation of this article nor anyone mentioned in the article has any affiliation with the American Tobbacco Company.