I see you...

from JoeUser Forums

I think I'm going to take up a new career as a spy.  I have nothing better to do.....and this seems like it might be a fun job.

I'm going to use my knitting as a cover operation, and I'm going to write to people, volunteering to knit a hat for them....and then I'm going to use the information they give me to spy on them.

Yes, I'm going to leave my home and my family, waste all my husband's hard earned money on gas, cheap motels and fast food, and I'm going to spy on people.  I'm going to use my 3 megapixel cheap-o digital camera, wear my Sam Spade trenchcoat and hat, take up smoking, drinking coffee from a thermos, eat a dozen doughnuts every day and cultivate a nice set of hemmarhoids and I'm going to sit outside people's houses and apartments and take pictures of them. Then, when I've got 'inside' information on them, I'm going to use that information...for what I don't know yet, but I'm sure something will come to me.

So, if I've knitted or have volunteered to knit a beanie for you, look out.  Keep your blinds pulled tight and lock your doors, change your telephone numbers, keep a lookout for a short redheaded chick wearing a variety of fake noses, glasses with no lenses and an assortment of different hats when you're strolling through the park or the mall,  and take a different route to and from work every day because you never know when I might be there, watching you.....

...and don't think that living in a different country means you're 'safe' from me....Quantas and British Airways are offering some remarkably cheap flights at this time you year, y'know.

No-one is safe from Dharma the spy.....

 

 

 

 

 

(this might have seemed like a crack-headed article to some of you, but there are a few who will hopefully get a giggle out of it....either that or become a little more paranoid....)

misc
6,823 views 22 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
Definitely more paranoid now... NOT!

Ah, good to see you making light of the whole sordid deal, Dharma. The truth path to enlightenment is always going to be with humour, I believe.
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
Oh, yeah, and if you come spy on me, do you need a place to stay?
Galactic Civilizations IV
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
Paranoia is a survival trait, as those you spy upon shall soon learn
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
remember just because your "paranoid" does'nt mean "THEY are not out to get you. ... If you wear black I will wear white and we can do spy vrs spy stuff.
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top

The truth path to enlightenment is always going to be with humour, I believe.

I think that you're onto something there, Maso...

Oh, yeah, and if you come spy on me, do you need a place to stay?

Ooh, yes please! It'd make my job MUCH easier!

Paranoia is a survival trait, as those you spy upon shall soon learn

Look out, look out, Danny....Dharma's about!

If you wear black I will wear white and we can do spy vrs spy stuff.

Hey, that'd be cooll!  Where d'ya want to meet at so we can get started?  You house, maybe?  You'll have to send me your address ....BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!  No-one is safe, I tell ya!!!!!

Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
No problems. I can even provide a spyhole, if so required.
Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top
I can neither confirm, nor deny any information contained in this comment. Yeah. And I was never here.

P.S.
I'm going to use my knitting as a cover operation


Sweet Madame Defarge style spywork........
Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top
Hey, that'd be cooll! Where d'ya want to meet at so we can get started? You house, maybe? You'll have to send me your address ....BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! No-one is safe, I tell ya!!!!!


here ya go dharma

1600 Pennsylvania ave.

suite L

Tell the guys in dark glasses at the gate yer here to see modman.. they will usher you right in. tff......
Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top
My friend has a cool shirt that you could borrow--it says "spychic" in little gold letters across the chest--very chic (however, she is convinced she works for MI 6, so you might have to fight her for it!).

I don't know what brought on this article, but it made me laugh!
Reply #10 from JoeUser Forums Top
"I'm going to use my knitting as a cover operation, and I'm going to write to people, volunteering to knit a hat for them....and then I'm going to use the information they give me to spy on them."

I'm going to start calling you "Madame Defarge."
Reply #12 from JoeUser Forums Top

You kill me dharma, really....stop...stop...(rolling on the floor)!
Reply #13 from JoeUser Forums Top
So instead of a dead horse's head, I should be looking out for a beanie? Just make sure you order it shaken not stirred.
Reply #14 from JoeUser Forums Top
Dharma--I just called my "MI 6 friend" and read her your blog and we both thought it was hysterical! Thanks for the laugh!
Reply #15 from JoeUser Forums Top
Hmm, looks like I better put some tinfoil in that beanie you mentioned!
Reply #16 from JoeUser Forums Top

Sweet Madame Defarge style spywork........

Why thank you...thank you very much!

Tell the guys in dark glasses at the gate yer here to see modman..

Oh, those dudes know me, they'll let me in...me being the very important person that I am.

 

I don't know what brought on this article, but it made me laugh!

I'll email you and tell you....

 

I'm going to start calling you "Madame Defarge."

Hmm..'Madame Dharma Defarge'.....yeah, I like that!

 

I see you too...

Hehe.....

 

You kill me dharma, really....stop...stop...(rolling on the floor)!

I'm glad you got a chuckle out of it!

 

So instead of a dead horse's head, I should be looking out for a beanie? Just make sure you order it shaken not stirred.

Yep, the beanie is my calling card...and I like your user name, btw.

 

Thanks for the laugh!

Welcome!

 

Hmm, looks like I better put some tinfoil in that beanie you mentioned!

No, tinfoil is worthless against the powers of the very important Dharma Defarge....

Reply #18 from JoeUser Forums Top
Your coming here?!?! YAY! When? Ill be looking out for ya!
xP
Reply #19 from JoeUser Forums Top
She's the spy
named Dharma
she's got a beanie
and knits stuff for you
She's the spy
named Dharma
and she is coming
now to spy on you

I'll leave the door open.
Reply #20 from JoeUser Forums Top
but...I still get the beanie, right?  I guess next time I should realize that somebody doesn't need your social security number in order to knit you a hat.  One of these days I'll learn that  
Reply #21 from JoeUser Forums Top

Liberte! Equalite! Fraternite!

Oui, mon frere...ca c'est tres vrai! 

Your coming here?!?! YAY! When?

Ah, I can't tell you that....then I'd be blowing my cover.

I'll leave the door open

Cool!  I can leave my slim jims and picks at home!

but...I still get the beanie, right?

Yeah, you still get the beanie....

I guess next time I should realize that somebody doesn't need your social security number in order to knit you a hat. One of these days I'll learn that

Oh, but I do need it...see, the number of stitches I have to cast in is directly related to your social. (hehe....)

Reply #22 from JoeUser Forums Top
great article dharma.
hmmm....maybe that car really was following me this morning?