The Hell With The Prince Charming Thing!

Ok, that thing at the bottom didn't turn out right and it won't let me fix it. But I think you can tell it's from a song.

~carebear~

Ashley - you're 16 (17?) You're giving up on finding a guy at 16? Honey oh my - read some of the blogs around here, Sally J is 21 and single, Shades is 24 and single, neither one of which has given up on finding Prince Charming, nor do they feel their lives aare unfulfilled because they don't have a boyfriend.

Your Prince Charming WILL come one day --- why does it have to be today? You're not ready to get married, have children and spend the rest of your life happily ever after with Prince Charming
There's a theory that you have to kiss alot of frogs before you meet Prince Charming and while I don't know if that's true I do know that life doesn't end when you finish highschool

Actually I'm 15, but I'll be 16 in April. But that's not really the point here. It's not that I'm giving up all together, but I guess I might as well give up with the guys that I've liked so far. And I didn't mean that I want to go ahead and get married right now or anything or find him right now, I'm just saying it will be hard to find him w/o someone ever getting mad. I guess it's just harder to understand when you don't go to my school and hang out with the people that I do. And I'm sorry it has to be that way for you.

~carebear~

Oh damn....I'm probably going to get bitched at.....but that's the price you pay.

~carebear~

Actually I'm 15, but I'll be 16 in April. But that's not really the point here

Yes, it is. You're complaining that you can't find a boy who'll be more than a friend, you're complaining that you'll never be able to find a boy without someone 'getting mad'. Chickie, you're 15, you haven't even begun to live yet. The po-dunk little town you live in isn't all the world has to offer, you know. You may think that high school is the be all and end all of your life, but it's not, and neither are the people that attend that school with you. You're too young to be pair-bonding, much too young. You also go from 'liking' one person to 'liking' someone else pretty damn quick.....which tells me what you're really not ready for a relationship. I think that you're just in love with the idea of being in love....

Here's something that might make you feel a bit better: when I was in HS, everyone thought that having a boyfriend was a big deal, and that if you didn't have one you were a loser or deficient somehow. I used to feel bad because all these chicks were going out with the local boys and I had no-one. I went online recently and looked at the profiles of some of the people I went to school with...and the ones who were so boastful of having had boyfriends back then hadn't done anything with their lives. They got married as soon as they left school, had 3 kids by the time they were 20, gained 100lbs, had no education, and had lived in the same small town their entire lives. They've stagnated...and that's nothing to be proud of.

You're not ready for a boyfriend, carebear. The universe will provide you with one when you're ready, don't worry.

You also go from 'liking' one person to 'liking' someone else pretty damn quick.....which tells me what you're really not ready for a relationship

I go from liking one guy to another quick because I believe that if they go out with someone you shouldn't like them. And most all the guys that I've like or like have a girlfriend, so therefore I force myself to stop liking them and move on. Guess that sounds weird doesn't it. What you and Trina both said is all very true. But like I said before.....I think all this just has to do with some people at my school and the stuff that's been going on there lately. But thank you for your comments.

think that you're just in love with the idea of being in love....

That might as well be very true. I don't know about myself anymore. lol.

~carebear~

And most all the guys that I've like or like have a girlfriend, so therefore I force myself to stop liking them and move on

I think that you'll find that love doesn't work that way. You can't just make yourself stop loving someone and move on....if you could, there would be a lot fewer broken hearts in the world!

I think that you're feeling the strain of what's been going on at school (and here) recently. From what I've seen here at JU there are a lot of very immature students at your school....because it seems like you're bearing the blame for a lot of things.

I have to agree with dharma and trina cuz they're right. Don't think that youre not good enough, you are. Me and Alex had this conversation last night, I have so many insecurities that are irrelevant and it looks like you do too. I'm positive that there is a great guy for you, just because you can't see him at this very minute doesn't mean he doesn't exsit. I'm not complaining that youre bitching because i've done the same thing a million times before, i think all females have, and will. Just hold on Ashley, he'll show up when you least expect it. I know that's cliche but it's true.

Thank you Sarah. That makes me feel a little better. I don't know what I was really thinking last night. I was really depressed for some odd reason. And then there's that other reason. I don't even know about myself anymore.

~carebear~

Shades is 24

Thanks Trina, but I'm actually 27 (though I'd like to be younger). Other than my age, Trina was spot-on in her comment.

A lot of the women I know have gone from relationship to relationship and never really had any time to figure out who they were. They weren't individuals, they were always part of a couple. The best thing that you can offer your future prince charming is your individuality. So, embrace your singledom and get to know you! It's not as easy as it sounds, but it's definitely a lot of fun.

I think that you'll find that love doesn't work that way. You can't just make yourself stop loving someone and move on....if you could, there would be a lot fewer broken hearts in the world!

Very insightful point. True unrequited love doesn't evaporate quickly. It takes it's toll on your soul, forever altering your reality--but for the most part, it's worth it cause it makes you grow as a person.

Sorry Shades - I was remembering that thread with questions on it and remembered incorrectly that you were 23 (26) but you'd had a birthday making you 24 (27)

I agree wholeheartedly with Shades and Dharma - wise women of the world that they are!

Thank you for acknowledging my problem thingy, Ashley. And don't give up yet. You may feel so ready to be in love and get all the wonderful feelings that come from it, but hast makes wast, and finding a mate right away may not be what God has in store for you right now. don't think that what you are going through is less note-worthy than what's going on w/me, because every one of us faces different problems at different times.

keep your chin up!
-kinjruh-

I smiled while reading your article as it reminded me of not so long ago when i was in high school. It was all about having boyfriends, which would cause so many gossips and eventually a lot of pain to the people envolved. I was happy becuase my boyfriend wasnt from the same school, so it kinda made it less exciting for the gossipers since we were not seen together as much as the 'local' couples. We stayed together fo four years before going our separate ways for school. We're still friends to this day.

But anyway to come back to your situation, a time will come when you'll see that people who truly care about you wont get mad at you for liking someone but will be happy for you.
You might find it very frustrating right now, but it'll happen eventually.

Thanks guys. I feel a lot better now. I think it was just something going thru in my mind. I was very emotional yesterday for some reason. It was odd and I feel funny for writing this now. But I guess you'll do that. I guess I'm kinda stupid for writing it. Do you think? I don't know.

Kinjruh~ Thank you so much! You've been there for a lot, and I'm so thankful for having you as a friend. I want to help you with your little thingy too. I don't want to see you hurting either as well as any of my other friends. You can always call me! I don't think you have my # but, you can get it from me, or you can ask, brandon, bobbi, or alex. They all have it.

~carebear~

Sorry Shades - I was remembering that thread with questions on it and remembered incorrectly that you were 23 (26) but you'd had a birthday making you 24 (27)

No worries--23 and 24 were good years, I wouldn't mind going back!

*sigh*....For so long I've said what dharma and trina have said...listen to them because they are awesome at giving advice from what I've seen.

Kinjruh- Hey, we gotta talk about your problem...everyone seems to be getting wind of it but me....whenever you're ready just ask, or you could call....whichever way you choose, I'll be there

~Zoo

You don' t know about it Shaun? I thought everyone did. But I won't tell you b/c I don't know if she wants me to. I'm sure you'll find out.

~carebear~

P.S.~thank you so much for talking to me last night Shaun!!! I love ya!!

P.S.~thank you so much for talking to me last night Shaun!!! I love ya!!

Not a problem...glad to help

~Zoo