PETA wants your Valentine's Day to suck
from 
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JoeUser Forums
Marge: Mmmm ... who left these muddy claw prints on my clean floor?
Homer: Sorry, Marge. Pinchy got all dirty in the yard chasing birds. But don't worry! I put him in a nice, hot bath.
Bart: [sniffs the air] Hey, what smells so good?
Homer: Yeah ... Pinchy? Pinchy!?! Oh ... =Pinchy=!!!!! [he runs out of the room worried]
Later that night, Homer is crying at the dining room table, taking bites out of Pinchy's dead body while the family is watching.
Homer: [eating, crying] Oh, man, that's good. [sob] Pass the butter.
Bart: Are you gonna eat that all by yourself?
Homer: Uh-huh. Pinchy would've wanted it this way. My dear, sweet Pinchy. [takes a bite] No more pain where you are now, boy.
[rips him in half and sucks out the meat inside] Oh, God, that's tasty! I wish Pinchy were here to enjoy this. [takes more bites] Oh, Pinchy ...
From cnn.com :
Animal activists for years have claimed that lobsters are in agony when being cooked, and that dropping one in a pot of boiling water is tantamount to torture.
...
Lobsters and crabs have some capacity of learning, but it is unlikely that they can feel pain," concluded the 39-page report, aimed at determining if creatures without backbones should be subject to animal welfare legislation as Norway revises its animal welfare law.
Um, OK...how stupid is this? We are supposed to forgo delicious, succulent lobster (prepared by live boiling, of course) because we are concerned that it might be cruel or considered torture?
Handcuffing someone to the metal bars of a bed and covering their head with pink cotton panties is cruel. (Thank you, Abu Ghraib)
Making someone eat cat poop before they can have a steak is cruel. (Thank you, Anchorman)
Making your male child hold a pair of sheer panties on a hanger outside the women's restroom for several minutes is cruel. (Don't ask)
Preparing food in a delicious way is NOT cruel.
Having taken a crapload of biology and life science in college (surprising, eh?), I can attest to the fact that fish and crustaceans do not have the nervous system set ups required to make things such as boiling and searing in butter (mmm...butter) painful. Any Nirvana fans out there? Remember..."it's OK to eat fish 'cause they don't have any feeling"? Yup, it's true.
KFC may in fact torture chickens. Slaughterhouses may actually be brutally murdering cows. But Red Lobster is innocent of any crimes against crustaceans.
This is silly.
Lobsters are FOOD, not friends!
The geniuses at PETA handled the crisis thusly:
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, an animal rights organization based in Norfolk, Virginia, has made lobster pain part of its Fish Empathy Project, putting out stickers and pamphlets with slogans such as "Being Boiled Hurts. Let Lobsters Live." Group supporters regularly demonstrate at the Maine Lobster Festival in Rockland.
I have a slogan for PETA...check this out..."Pass the butter, beotch." It would make terrific stickers and posters.
I'm mostly a vegetarian...I don't believe in killing animals for fun...I'm a pinko commie liberal, in fact...buuuut...
C'mon...
We gotta eat something. Why not something delicious that doesn't even care if you boil or dismember it alive? How perfect is that?
Let's find something else to be outraged about.
"
Homer: Sorry, Marge. Pinchy got all dirty in the yard chasing birds. But don't worry! I put him in a nice, hot bath.
Bart: [sniffs the air] Hey, what smells so good?
Homer: Yeah ... Pinchy? Pinchy!?! Oh ... =Pinchy=!!!!! [he runs out of the room worried]
Later that night, Homer is crying at the dining room table, taking bites out of Pinchy's dead body while the family is watching.
Homer: [eating, crying] Oh, man, that's good. [sob] Pass the butter.
Bart: Are you gonna eat that all by yourself?
Homer: Uh-huh. Pinchy would've wanted it this way. My dear, sweet Pinchy. [takes a bite] No more pain where you are now, boy.
[rips him in half and sucks out the meat inside] Oh, God, that's tasty! I wish Pinchy were here to enjoy this. [takes more bites] Oh, Pinchy ...
From cnn.com :
Animal activists for years have claimed that lobsters are in agony when being cooked, and that dropping one in a pot of boiling water is tantamount to torture.
...
Lobsters and crabs have some capacity of learning, but it is unlikely that they can feel pain," concluded the 39-page report, aimed at determining if creatures without backbones should be subject to animal welfare legislation as Norway revises its animal welfare law.
Um, OK...how stupid is this? We are supposed to forgo delicious, succulent lobster (prepared by live boiling, of course) because we are concerned that it might be cruel or considered torture?
Handcuffing someone to the metal bars of a bed and covering their head with pink cotton panties is cruel. (Thank you, Abu Ghraib)
Making someone eat cat poop before they can have a steak is cruel. (Thank you, Anchorman)
Making your male child hold a pair of sheer panties on a hanger outside the women's restroom for several minutes is cruel. (Don't ask)
Preparing food in a delicious way is NOT cruel.
Having taken a crapload of biology and life science in college (surprising, eh?), I can attest to the fact that fish and crustaceans do not have the nervous system set ups required to make things such as boiling and searing in butter (mmm...butter) painful. Any Nirvana fans out there? Remember..."it's OK to eat fish 'cause they don't have any feeling"? Yup, it's true.
KFC may in fact torture chickens. Slaughterhouses may actually be brutally murdering cows. But Red Lobster is innocent of any crimes against crustaceans.
This is silly.
Lobsters are FOOD, not friends!
The geniuses at PETA handled the crisis thusly:
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, an animal rights organization based in Norfolk, Virginia, has made lobster pain part of its Fish Empathy Project, putting out stickers and pamphlets with slogans such as "Being Boiled Hurts. Let Lobsters Live." Group supporters regularly demonstrate at the Maine Lobster Festival in Rockland.
I have a slogan for PETA...check this out..."Pass the butter, beotch." It would make terrific stickers and posters.
I'm mostly a vegetarian...I don't believe in killing animals for fun...I'm a pinko commie liberal, in fact...buuuut...
C'mon...
We gotta eat something. Why not something delicious that doesn't even care if you boil or dismember it alive? How perfect is that?
Let's find something else to be outraged about.
"
