Something I Never Want To Do Again, PT II
Just got word...
from 
JoeUser Forums
JoeUser Forums
I just received an email with the most recent duty rosters. I came up again for funeral detail, this time for March and April. I detailed my feelings about military funerals before - Something I never want to do again..., so I won't go into too much detail about it here. While I'd never try to get out of doing this detail, I still don't look forward to it. I also find it a little annoying to see that this will be my second time on this detail and there are people who have been in my company longer who have yet to do it once. The truth of the matter is I don't look forward to being at the funerals, but I consider it an honor to participate in an official capacity.
Having said that, I do look at this oppurtunity with much less fear than I did the first time. I learned a lot about myself and feel that I gained something with each funeral I attended. I learned to deal with my own fear and emotions. On my first detail, I was so nervous, I barely got my one speaking line out (although I did mess it up). There was another detail when a blind widow began to cry, because she couldn't see the flag I had just presented her. It was all I could do to keep my own emotions in check. Thinking about that moment now is still very powerful. There was a funeral where a Vietnam veteran was in attendance and he took the time to talk to my partner and I after the funeral and thanked us for being there. He wanted to make sure that we knew people appreciated what we did, even though he had rarely felt that way because of how the Vietnam War veterans had often been treated. I learned to deal with change, like the time the funeral home workers turned a casket around on us at the last moment, so it was facing the wrong direction for travel. I learned that no matter how many funerals I ever participate in, they are all unique and require me to do my absolute best. Years from now, I may forget how I did on each funeral, but there are family members that will remember forever whether I performed my duty well or screwed it up at each funeral. I learned to deal with adversity. Once, my bugler played Taps at the wrong time. I was able to react as if this were exactly what should be happening and that, along with the minister mirroring my reaction, preserved the dignity of the ceremony.
I will continue posting individual articles about each funeral I participate in. In fact, I will probably reread each one I posted from last time, multiple times, in an effort to prepare myself for this detail. It's important to me to remember these funerals individually and collectively. As I said, it's not a detail I look forward to, but I'm honored to be able to participate.
My Ecosystem Details
Having said that, I do look at this oppurtunity with much less fear than I did the first time. I learned a lot about myself and feel that I gained something with each funeral I attended. I learned to deal with my own fear and emotions. On my first detail, I was so nervous, I barely got my one speaking line out (although I did mess it up). There was another detail when a blind widow began to cry, because she couldn't see the flag I had just presented her. It was all I could do to keep my own emotions in check. Thinking about that moment now is still very powerful. There was a funeral where a Vietnam veteran was in attendance and he took the time to talk to my partner and I after the funeral and thanked us for being there. He wanted to make sure that we knew people appreciated what we did, even though he had rarely felt that way because of how the Vietnam War veterans had often been treated. I learned to deal with change, like the time the funeral home workers turned a casket around on us at the last moment, so it was facing the wrong direction for travel. I learned that no matter how many funerals I ever participate in, they are all unique and require me to do my absolute best. Years from now, I may forget how I did on each funeral, but there are family members that will remember forever whether I performed my duty well or screwed it up at each funeral. I learned to deal with adversity. Once, my bugler played Taps at the wrong time. I was able to react as if this were exactly what should be happening and that, along with the minister mirroring my reaction, preserved the dignity of the ceremony.
I will continue posting individual articles about each funeral I participate in. In fact, I will probably reread each one I posted from last time, multiple times, in an effort to prepare myself for this detail. It's important to me to remember these funerals individually and collectively. As I said, it's not a detail I look forward to, but I'm honored to be able to participate.
My Ecosystem Details
