Putting Things in Proper Perspective
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JoeUser Forums
Sunday, January 16, 2005
Don't think I dwell on things in the past simply to feel sorry for myself. Oh, no. I genuinely need to sort these things out.
The big question I have is:
Does the crap from my past still affect me now, leaving a need for me to sort it out before I can be a fully functioning person again?
I really feel like I cannot function properly without dealing with whatever it is that paralyzes me. I even cannot bear going to church and teaching the children wonderful lessons when I've got so much unresolved agony in my life. I cannot put on a happy face with a clear conscience. I'd be lying.
In the daily walk of life, no one wants to hear one another's sob stories. These things need to be dealt with behind closed doors. But with whom?
Assuming that the answer is, Yes, I do need to sort these things out, then should it be done by trying to unravel it all and make it better? Or do I need to sit down in an office on a regular basis with some stranger with a medical degree and bore him with my life details? Are medications the answer? I dare say not, although I've tried some because I didn't feel like dealing with it the way I ought to: talking it over with someone ANYONE who cares. But who? I've never found that person. Well, Tim might have cared. But he was my boss. That just wouldn't have been right to dump this on him.
God. I need to turn to God. It's hard to do because He's best approached with clean hands. But anyone can go to Him, right? Why do I feel so far away? Because I'm a kleptomaniac? Because I choose to play video games rather than read the scriptures? Yeah, those aren't great ways to get closer to the lord.
Someone help me. I've heard all the right answers before, but I think I need to hear them again, because they just seem to elude me right now.
posted by Angela Marie at 3:00 AM
Don't think I dwell on things in the past simply to feel sorry for myself. Oh, no. I genuinely need to sort these things out.
The big question I have is:
Does the crap from my past still affect me now, leaving a need for me to sort it out before I can be a fully functioning person again?
I really feel like I cannot function properly without dealing with whatever it is that paralyzes me. I even cannot bear going to church and teaching the children wonderful lessons when I've got so much unresolved agony in my life. I cannot put on a happy face with a clear conscience. I'd be lying.
In the daily walk of life, no one wants to hear one another's sob stories. These things need to be dealt with behind closed doors. But with whom?
Assuming that the answer is, Yes, I do need to sort these things out, then should it be done by trying to unravel it all and make it better? Or do I need to sit down in an office on a regular basis with some stranger with a medical degree and bore him with my life details? Are medications the answer? I dare say not, although I've tried some because I didn't feel like dealing with it the way I ought to: talking it over with someone ANYONE who cares. But who? I've never found that person. Well, Tim might have cared. But he was my boss. That just wouldn't have been right to dump this on him.
God. I need to turn to God. It's hard to do because He's best approached with clean hands. But anyone can go to Him, right? Why do I feel so far away? Because I'm a kleptomaniac? Because I choose to play video games rather than read the scriptures? Yeah, those aren't great ways to get closer to the lord.
Someone help me. I've heard all the right answers before, but I think I need to hear them again, because they just seem to elude me right now.
posted by Angela Marie at 3:00 AM