My Involuntary Power of Invisibility
from 
JoeUser Forums
JoeUser Forums
Sunday, January 2nd, 2005
Heather G. makes me invisible. I've decided that. She doesn't answer my emails or my snail mails, and while that's not an offense in and of itself, I still think that she likes to pretend that I don't exist.
I don't blame her. Back when we were "roommates" (that's what she liked to call it) I was a very rude little girl. I didn't mean to be. Who wakes up every day and says, "Hmmm, what can I do to be a rude person today?" I tell you, I bet no one does that. If they do, that's weird. I'm just rude because I have mental problems. I used to be a ray of sunshine, but not anymore. I'll be the first to admit it. Ugly things just slip out of my mouth, and sour expressions just creep onto my face from unresolved past agonies. It seems that I can match up most day-to-day experiences with some terrible past memory, and it's like re-living the agony again and again with every normal thing I do. That's not cool at all.
Well, a couple 4th of Julys ago I was hanging out with Heather & her family. She & I were in the back seat of the minivan on our way up to the mountains. In casual conversation with everyone, my past attitude problem became a topic of discussion. "Yeah, I was really mean," I said. And Heather in reflection, with a complete expression of love in her countenance said, "You know, I really don't remember any of it." I didn't fully understand what she meant just then. I figured she meant that she forced herself to put it out of her mind, or that she was just dealing with it by not dealing with it. After thinking about it some time later, I realized that it was her Christlike love that let her forgive and forget just as Christ does. See why I'd like to stay in touch with her? She's a great person.
So I'm wondering, does she forget me completely? I don't think so because just this past autumn we visited her, and she was very happy to see me, and we had a pleasant time together. Maybe she's just not up on her emails. But speaking of email, the strange thing is that I sent her a message less than a week before I saw her in person. When I mentioned it she said, "I thought I saw an email from you, but I really didn't." Or something like that. Which is another bit of evidence to support my case that she's making me invisible.
Just a thought...
posted by Angela Marie at 6:13 PM
Heather G. makes me invisible. I've decided that. She doesn't answer my emails or my snail mails, and while that's not an offense in and of itself, I still think that she likes to pretend that I don't exist.
I don't blame her. Back when we were "roommates" (that's what she liked to call it) I was a very rude little girl. I didn't mean to be. Who wakes up every day and says, "Hmmm, what can I do to be a rude person today?" I tell you, I bet no one does that. If they do, that's weird. I'm just rude because I have mental problems. I used to be a ray of sunshine, but not anymore. I'll be the first to admit it. Ugly things just slip out of my mouth, and sour expressions just creep onto my face from unresolved past agonies. It seems that I can match up most day-to-day experiences with some terrible past memory, and it's like re-living the agony again and again with every normal thing I do. That's not cool at all.
Well, a couple 4th of Julys ago I was hanging out with Heather & her family. She & I were in the back seat of the minivan on our way up to the mountains. In casual conversation with everyone, my past attitude problem became a topic of discussion. "Yeah, I was really mean," I said. And Heather in reflection, with a complete expression of love in her countenance said, "You know, I really don't remember any of it." I didn't fully understand what she meant just then. I figured she meant that she forced herself to put it out of her mind, or that she was just dealing with it by not dealing with it. After thinking about it some time later, I realized that it was her Christlike love that let her forgive and forget just as Christ does. See why I'd like to stay in touch with her? She's a great person.
So I'm wondering, does she forget me completely? I don't think so because just this past autumn we visited her, and she was very happy to see me, and we had a pleasant time together. Maybe she's just not up on her emails. But speaking of email, the strange thing is that I sent her a message less than a week before I saw her in person. When I mentioned it she said, "I thought I saw an email from you, but I really didn't." Or something like that. Which is another bit of evidence to support my case that she's making me invisible.
Just a thought...
posted by Angela Marie at 6:13 PM